Random favs

from Textsfromlastnight

(816): She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.

(818): Jake died.
(310): WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
(818): Oops typo. Jake cried.

(407): please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...

(540): I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
(540) I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.

(708): i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.

(361): What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
(1-361): These are the tickets we got last night.
(361): Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
(1-361): Yes...yes you did.

(650): i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
(408): Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland..

(316): I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
(785): He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

(404): FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
(1-404): haha good one..how did you even know?
(404): we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.

(540): what do you have against ST
(1-540): DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.

(678): He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
(770): I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."

(650): i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.

(205): at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.

(650): Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)



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BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS TONIGHT ! <3