Drained but hopeful

I'm not totally sure why but the past week or so I've felt a little more tired than usual. I don't feel like I'm particularly busy or particularly stressed...or particularly antsy/restless. If anything, I guess I feel a little stressed and insecure. I keep on having nightmares. Not like super scary monster nightmares, but unpleasant personal situations and it's hard to get them out of my head but I feel like they aren't a big deal yet I can't seem to ignore them. But, they're also my own issues and I don't want to be a bother. It's like whenever I am happy I remember that things don't last forever and I'm not sure if I'm up to the challenge of big changes. I'm also on edge more often and I try not to let my temper get to me because the stupidest things will get on my nerves and then I can't handle it. Maybe other things have been accumulating and using the small details just act as triggers and excuses. That makes sense to me at least.

I am not ready to grow up, I'm not ready to leave, I'm not ready to get ready to leave, and I'm not ready to figure out how to do all of that. But, there's no choice, but I'm sure there are better ways for me to handle it. I feel like I'm flailing and trying to hold on to things when I know I probably shouldn't and need to just take the changes slow.

There are things about myself I'd like to change. I don't exactly like what I see lately. I don't like the insecurity, I don't like feeling dull, and I don't like feeling insignificant.

I just don't feel like I have all that much to say that is of much importance. Makes me just want to be quiet.

Change is necessary...but what?

Possibilities:
1) have more practical expectations...not that I think I'm impractical, but maybe I am because I don't like feeling disappointed
2) get more motivated about my applications because I need to get that done
3) sleep more/sleep less
4) write here more, I seem to be calmer afterward having put my thoughts somewhere, however vague as they may be...but, at least I generally know what I'm talking about.
5) write down my dreams
6) exercise more...although I think I can do that bc of this pass...it's an incentive for me to go to not waste money
7) spend less
8) stop fretting about what I'm doing and what people think
9) stop over analyzing and being skeptical

I'm just tired and don't know what to do. Maybe I should go to sleep. I don't think I'm in the mood to actually work on applications...that just means tomorrow will be busier. Oh Goody.