Josh got a new car, it's used but it is very pretty. YAY! Stayed over at his parents house Friday night and we journeyed to Wisconsin at like 4am. Foggy, dark, a little chilly. Good thing there is music! Typical car rides but unusual purpose. Wisconsin is sorta far away, but I guess Milwaukee is closer than other places there, haha. Apart from the car the only interesting thing that happened is that I got myself stuck in my coat.
My purple plaid scarf got REALLY stuck in the zipper of my coat. Nobody could unzip it so it had to be pulled off my head and at one point my head was stuck in my coat...in the middle of Chipotle in Milwaukee. It was pretty special. Josh's mom got it unzipped tho, yay! I felt special...ed. We never did stop at the cheese castle, and we didn't get chicago pizza...sorta slipped our minds. oh well.
Anyway, we got home at like 9:30pm. The trip was worth it, everybody is happy and it was a good trip. Stayed over there another night after taking doggies for walk. I've enjoyed the weekend with people I love being around.
School is tedious though. But so far I've been keeping up but I am hoping that with hardwork it'll all go well because I haven't had legit science classes in a while haha.
I like my new roomie.
I love my friends.
Life is good.
I have a sore throat and am allergic to blistex.
But, apart from that, I am hopeful.
P.S. I watched Post Grad...it's really corny and sorta silly but I am happy because they had a Joshua Radin song at the end (Brand New Day). I am happy.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Laughter and Donuts
I've finished watching the first two seasons of Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Even though it's about an Escort (aka prostitute, even if it's a high-class Escort) it is actually very fun, meaningful, insightful, witty, and most definitely entertaining, even in a clean way. Can't say I'd ever want to find me in her line of work I feel like I connect with some of her characteristics/personality such as being a private person, complicated emotional life, certain relationships with friends, etc. I like the show a lot, I wonder when the 3rd Season comes out.
Laughter feels so good. When I'm in a good mood I find myself laughing or chuckling for no reason, or I find something funny before I am aware of exactly why. It's nice.
Revelation. Donuts. Are So Good. Maybe as a result of being so high stress my body tells me to bulk up on carbs and maybe that's why I love pasta, donuts, croissants, and such. After jazz class one night Josh, Zack, and I all had donut cravings (maybe mostly me?) and I put too many donuts in my box and it wouldn't close. Explains some of the weight gain, eh? ;)
Good day. Started out sorta blah, got annoyed a bunch. Cleaned. Played with Luke. Went to Josh's for dinner which is fun. I won Shanghai! that card game. I was very lucky, or strategic, or both. Whatever
I'm just happy today, right now. I feel like myself.
Facebook told me that egg donors are needed via an ad. It pays. But that's not really what I find interesting...I checked out eggdonation.com and some of the sample actual donors they have...have real glamorous photos. hehe. At least all the children will be beautiful, or more likely to be so! haha. People are innately somewhat shallow ;), although appearance has some correlation with health and such anyway, so that is Ok!
Laughter feels so good. When I'm in a good mood I find myself laughing or chuckling for no reason, or I find something funny before I am aware of exactly why. It's nice.
Revelation. Donuts. Are So Good. Maybe as a result of being so high stress my body tells me to bulk up on carbs and maybe that's why I love pasta, donuts, croissants, and such. After jazz class one night Josh, Zack, and I all had donut cravings (maybe mostly me?) and I put too many donuts in my box and it wouldn't close. Explains some of the weight gain, eh? ;)
Good day. Started out sorta blah, got annoyed a bunch. Cleaned. Played with Luke. Went to Josh's for dinner which is fun. I won Shanghai! that card game. I was very lucky, or strategic, or both. Whatever
I'm just happy today, right now. I feel like myself.
Facebook told me that egg donors are needed via an ad. It pays. But that's not really what I find interesting...I checked out eggdonation.com and some of the sample actual donors they have...have real glamorous photos. hehe. At least all the children will be beautiful, or more likely to be so! haha. People are innately somewhat shallow ;), although appearance has some correlation with health and such anyway, so that is Ok!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Week over half over
Yesterday was a wonderful day, I felt so much like myself and just happy.
Spent the morning listening to music and made a CD for the day. Then I had a quick lunch...then went off to do errands. After I attempted to sell old textbooks (sold half of what I carried...which was quite a load), returned library DVDs, filled car up with "car food"...Afterwards, went to try to get Josh for a hike but he wasn't there, which was actually convenient because it gave me time to visit Lisa! yayyy at her new apartment. Then picked Josh up from Cole Service for a productive hike. He got to get rid of 3 trees from the trails. Dinner at Fiesta Chara, Angeline and her hubby ate there too towards the end...etcetc. The day went rather well, then eventually went to watch Avatar in 3D!
Well, I enjoyed my time with that movie for sure. The technology and effects were amazing. The 3D was especially impressive because the transitions of depth were very fluid. Usually for 3D movies I feel like they do it just to be 3D and not so much of an experience. Example, the object is at a farther depth and then the next frame is in your face. It's like a pop-up book. But with Avatar, I felt like just about all of the 3D felt realistic, except for a few moments, which is very impressive. Best 3D experience I've had thus far. Definitely. As far as the plot is concerned, it was entertaining but really corny at times. It's like Disney's Pocahontas and a touch of Transformers, Jurassic Park, and Land Before Time or something. Jake Sully and John Smith have the same initials too. Those dinosaur-like things in the end charging was Really corny. It was very good for the imagination, the movie that is. I felt like I was 10 but in a good way. I don't speak of it sarcastically because I thoroughly enjoyed the movie but it's not the type I could watch multiple times in a span of a couple of days.
A LOT OF SITTING. Including the car ride, it was like 4 hours of sitting. Too long. We walked around Wal-Mart when we got back (I did get stuff at least) and then I was thoroughly pooped. I still only slept 6 hours tho. I can't seem to stay asleep! But, I have been pleasantly surprised with a lot of snow! it's still snowing a good deal and it is beautiful. This also means I'm probably not leaving the house at all apart from maybe playing in the yard and that Josh won't get to work.
What to do with myself for the day? probably play with Luke, Listen to music, search for music, watch movies, read....clean my room? who knows? either way, it's an indoor day. But, I'm still happy and feel pretty relaxed.
Spent the morning listening to music and made a CD for the day. Then I had a quick lunch...then went off to do errands. After I attempted to sell old textbooks (sold half of what I carried...which was quite a load), returned library DVDs, filled car up with "car food"...Afterwards, went to try to get Josh for a hike but he wasn't there, which was actually convenient because it gave me time to visit Lisa! yayyy at her new apartment. Then picked Josh up from Cole Service for a productive hike. He got to get rid of 3 trees from the trails. Dinner at Fiesta Chara, Angeline and her hubby ate there too towards the end...etcetc. The day went rather well, then eventually went to watch Avatar in 3D!
Well, I enjoyed my time with that movie for sure. The technology and effects were amazing. The 3D was especially impressive because the transitions of depth were very fluid. Usually for 3D movies I feel like they do it just to be 3D and not so much of an experience. Example, the object is at a farther depth and then the next frame is in your face. It's like a pop-up book. But with Avatar, I felt like just about all of the 3D felt realistic, except for a few moments, which is very impressive. Best 3D experience I've had thus far. Definitely. As far as the plot is concerned, it was entertaining but really corny at times. It's like Disney's Pocahontas and a touch of Transformers, Jurassic Park, and Land Before Time or something. Jake Sully and John Smith have the same initials too. Those dinosaur-like things in the end charging was Really corny. It was very good for the imagination, the movie that is. I felt like I was 10 but in a good way. I don't speak of it sarcastically because I thoroughly enjoyed the movie but it's not the type I could watch multiple times in a span of a couple of days.
A LOT OF SITTING. Including the car ride, it was like 4 hours of sitting. Too long. We walked around Wal-Mart when we got back (I did get stuff at least) and then I was thoroughly pooped. I still only slept 6 hours tho. I can't seem to stay asleep! But, I have been pleasantly surprised with a lot of snow! it's still snowing a good deal and it is beautiful. This also means I'm probably not leaving the house at all apart from maybe playing in the yard and that Josh won't get to work.
What to do with myself for the day? probably play with Luke, Listen to music, search for music, watch movies, read....clean my room? who knows? either way, it's an indoor day. But, I'm still happy and feel pretty relaxed.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Plan for 2010
1) Work more in the lab
2) Study Hard
3) Search for summer job
4) Search for financial aid or something for grad school
5) Exercise A Lot
6) Be less stressed and more open
7) Be more understanding
8) Don't let people get to me too much
10) Enjoy life and try new things
2) Study Hard
3) Search for summer job
4) Search for financial aid or something for grad school
5) Exercise A Lot
6) Be less stressed and more open
7) Be more understanding
8) Don't let people get to me too much
10) Enjoy life and try new things
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Off the path
I feel sort of like a shell right now. Maybe I'm just tired and stressed about life.
I don't want school to start up again mostly because some of the classes are going to be very difficult and intimidating. That, and I'm anxious about schools and how life will change.
I just don't feel very lively lately. Sometimes I don't feel visible but I am sure that is just a perception. Life can be very humbling and a constant reminder of how very human and vulnerable I am. ... definitely not a fan of feeling vulnerable but I guess I'm trying to accept it and deal with it.
Right now I don't really have confidence in my capabilities because time and time again I have experienced dissatisfaction and disappointment in results. Since college I have found that even if I try really hard, I don't always get what I want. It's not just about the amount of effort but where to allot it and the method. That's just a lot going on right there. Maybe people are similar to that.
I also need to think less about certain things. I feel like the things that bother me are just stupid. I am my own person and I just have to remind myself that I am unique. People cannot be totally compared because people are complex. I don't have to place myself beside others. I should not judge myself because I try very hard not to judge others. All I can do is to try to be the best version of myself but honestly? sometimes I just blank.out.
It's easy to not notice things on time and to get unnoticed. Life moves quickly and I get carried away by it and miss out on a lot. I need to take things less seriously and slow down. Chill.
I have my own life and I have to remember myself well enough to not let things and people get to me too much. Don't hold unrealistic expectations. Appreciate the little things more. Be more understanding. Be slow to be harsh. Take courage. Think openly and be thoughtful. Although I have my own life I am not alone in the world. Although it is easy to feel lonely even when surrounded by people, it does not have to be that way and it shouldn't.
Sometimes I just need pressure-free space to think and make sense of my thoughts.
I don't want school to start up again mostly because some of the classes are going to be very difficult and intimidating. That, and I'm anxious about schools and how life will change.
I just don't feel very lively lately. Sometimes I don't feel visible but I am sure that is just a perception. Life can be very humbling and a constant reminder of how very human and vulnerable I am. ... definitely not a fan of feeling vulnerable but I guess I'm trying to accept it and deal with it.
Right now I don't really have confidence in my capabilities because time and time again I have experienced dissatisfaction and disappointment in results. Since college I have found that even if I try really hard, I don't always get what I want. It's not just about the amount of effort but where to allot it and the method. That's just a lot going on right there. Maybe people are similar to that.
I also need to think less about certain things. I feel like the things that bother me are just stupid. I am my own person and I just have to remind myself that I am unique. People cannot be totally compared because people are complex. I don't have to place myself beside others. I should not judge myself because I try very hard not to judge others. All I can do is to try to be the best version of myself but honestly? sometimes I just blank.out.
It's easy to not notice things on time and to get unnoticed. Life moves quickly and I get carried away by it and miss out on a lot. I need to take things less seriously and slow down. Chill.
I have my own life and I have to remember myself well enough to not let things and people get to me too much. Don't hold unrealistic expectations. Appreciate the little things more. Be more understanding. Be slow to be harsh. Take courage. Think openly and be thoughtful. Although I have my own life I am not alone in the world. Although it is easy to feel lonely even when surrounded by people, it does not have to be that way and it shouldn't.
Sometimes I just need pressure-free space to think and make sense of my thoughts.
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