Post-Christmas

Christmas Eve was enjoyable enough.  A bunch of Chinese undergrads I didn't know, a phd student and his wife, and Josh came.  Luke was very happy and the food was good.

Christmas Day was very lively. Luke played with his new toys, and my parents loved their present (photos of fam in frame).  Then, after lunch, I drove to Eaton to spend time with Josh's family.  I opened my gifts from them, made flowers out of shiny red paper, played with Michael and the doggies and then ate dinner.  Chilled for a bit and then got pretty sick and threw up a bunch after feeling headachy-verge of migraine for a while.  I figured if I was going to be sick I'd want to be home so Josh drove me back in my car and his parents dropped his car off the next day when they went to church.

While at Josh's parents I found that the dogs are scared of my hat...maybe it's just because I came out of a dark room but, the hat confused them regardless.

Mmm...

was supposed to go shopping but I didn't feel well and Kait was sick. Josh and Declan came over for dinner and we played with Luke, ate food, went uptown, and just chilled.

Yesterday while I was waiting for Josh to finish at his chiropractor appointment I went to get my car washed.  I got there and the washer on the left looked dark but there was a car in it and the washer at the right had two cars waiting in line.  I checked out the one on the left and a figure waved at me to go line up at the other one.  This was a little confusing.  As it got to be just me waiting in line, a honda drove up and a guy came out and walked around the dark washer on the left.  Maintenance came too, and eventually discovered that it was a girl who was stuck in the washer.  I assume she had driven ahead too far and didn't want to back up properly so she just sat there for a while.  Once she finally came out of the washer, the honda guy switched seats with her and drove the car into the washer properly to have it cleaned.  I guess he came to her rescue, and the maintenance guy looked really annoyed at the whole dilemna, haha.

My car is clean! hooray :)

Shopped yesterday but was not that successful apart from two shirts for Luke.

I'm feeling very slow lately.  Life has gotten to feel pretty slow lately.  It is hard to be motivated...

Tomorrow is Josh's birthday.  It should be fun :)

Headed towards Christmas and the New Year

I haven't done all that much since I've been home...saw friends, shopped some (new boots and hat), ate food...

I got a Christmas gift early (external hdd) which is very necessary for what I'm about to undertake...

I finished backing up everything on my computer onto it last night which took many, many hours because my computer does NOT have enough RAM to take it, and my computer just has a lot of junk on it in general.  My harddrive memory is tolerable and sufficient, especially now that I plan on leaving some stuff on the ext hdd and putting them on DVDs.

To Do:

• Find a good way to have an older itunes accept my new itunes library
• back up stuff from my old desktop
• write everything onto DVDs with external DVD writer
• reformat computer with a partition to allow for linux and windows
• search for missing drivers and make sure everything is working smoothly
• put programs back on
• manually make my new library playlists again if necessary, especially if itunes refuses to use the library file I have...
• and I guess just make sure everything is running smoothly and explore

COME ON COMPUTER, LIVE!!!!

This will probably take until Christmas to finish...practically...

Also, I guess we're having random guests for Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow.  Mom found Chinese undergrad students with nowhere to go who were trying to move (by foot) stuff from Miami Commons to Candlewood...in the cold and snow...  Yeah, she went and got the car and helped transport their stuff...and now they're coming to dinner.  Fine by me, but it could be awkward, we'll see.

I really need to re-evaluate my finances now.  I just deposited a check for school but I think it is supposed to be for two quarters...which would cut everything in nearly half (because before there was the apartment settling-in costs).  Well...with this in mind...I can make it if I live EXTREMELY minimally or if I work 20hours a wk getting paid grad-level and live relatively comfortably.

I mean, I plan on having a full time job over the summer which would sustain me through those months even with me paying for everything on my own.

There are a lot of assumptions...

• That I can live minimally.
• That I can find a good and relevant job in time.
• That I know what I am doing...which I don't by the way.

Ways to do this...

Well, I won't be able to come home much winter quarter...there is like one good weekend for sure...but I have a feeling school will take up a lot of time...and it also depends on if I have a job and how much time that takes.  Winter quarter is pretty short though...goes from beginning to January to not even the end of March.  The trade off is less fuel costs but more utility costs.  The difference in finances will depend on my non-necessary spending like eating out. Time to cook more and find more free things! somehow.

I also should figure out how/if/when I am going to do a field experience abroad.  I should work on that...but that also depends on what kind of job I can get.  I can forgo the global health specialization if I can find a really good career experience soon, which would get me out of the school faster and into the working world.  Because, really, a lot of those classes...I've either taken something like that before, or it's learned on-site.  It's not like I haven't realized there are cultural differences that affect how we think and approach/attain healthcare...

For now, I may work on the essay thing anyway...

Dad needs to fix my car...

I need to fix my computer...

Figure out when I'm distributing Christmas Presents...

Day-After Christmas Shopping...

Yeah, stuff like that.

Maybe for starters I'll actually unpack so it looks less like a mess.  I have drawers for a reason, right? and they're empty...

Here's to Christmas and 2011!

EDIT: Ok, so the finances aren't as terrible as anticipated but still are not good.  I should somehow make it until summer, at which point I NEED TO MAKE SURE I HAVE A FULL TIME JOB. Yes.

Apartment storm

I feel like there has been a lot of movement, a lot of hassle, with very little results.

Most of the past two days have been decent, and some parts have been very good.

But, lets go back farther.

Monday night. some ridiculous time like 2am, Angeline wakes me up.  I am very confused because it sounds like it is storming/raining outside which made me want to continue sleeping...then she comes in and says that the apartment is flooding...

I jump up and am very surprised by the storm within the apartment. First thing I noticed was the water coming out of the light fixture in the kitchen...not just dripping, but it looked like a shower...and everything was wet...

Immediately I called emergency maintenance, and they were aware of the problem as the apartment upstairs had a waterline bust...which is the problem... I frantically unplug stuff, move stuff off counters, and try to identify all the wet spots.  At this point I am delirious and just giggling.

at around 4-4:30am the maintenance and carpet cleaning people come...and for the next two days we are stuck with dehumidifiers and fans, all industrial looking, all over the apartment.  And because my bathroom and closet are together...I got to have both of those IN MY ROOM/BATHROOM. Which meant that the first night resulted in essentially no sleep.

Upon waking up I am very annoyed that I am still really sleepy...cleaned which made me very grumpy.  Cleaning is one thing, cleaning by myself is another factor, cleaning something while feet are soggy? gross...it's just a mess....after lunch I couldn't take it anymore and headed over to Easton.  Bought PJs and slipper socks at VS, visited with Vanessa, the mall smelled weird (like the stuff they perm hair with), and then we bumped into Will.  Then, the three of us walked over to Barnes and Nobles because Vanessa's mom and brother wanted to see Glen Beck.  Will and I got caffeine (I desperately needed it), and then afterwards he drove us to our cars.  I met up with Vanessa at her house, and we exchanged gifts (she gave me a beautiful new Fossil purse! hands free! ). Her brother left for soccer.  We later discover he had driven off with Vanessa's car without telling her...and my shopping bag was in it.  I wanted it.  He wasn't going to be home at a decent hour and her dad said to not make it easy for him.

Had dinner with her family at Chipotle (it was very entertaining), watched Robot with Vanessa, and she made me REALLY RICH hot chocolate.  Then I went home. Got a decent amount of sleep.

Woke up, went to get my MRI done for Angeline's clinical psych study thing...it made me sleepy but it was sort of cool...came home...Vanessa's brother dropped off my bag, more like I met him at the entrance cus he somehow couldn't get in...Even better, i was excited and wanted to try the PJs on....the stupid detector/sensor tag is on it. So pissed. Stupid store. had to DRIVE TO TUTTLE to get them to take it off. What a hassle. GOOD thing is that when I got back, it fit well, and I think it's cute, as well as the slipper socks.

Then began laundry.

Maintenance took away all the fans/dehumidifiers so it is quiet but it still smells like soggy cardboard and mothballs.  Monday they're going to professionally clean the whole apartment. Hm.

Also, sometime during the apartment storm mess my shovel disappeared. I paid decent money for that shovel cus I wanted a big one and now it is gone...

and my car is disgustingly dirty...

before long laundry will be done and I will feel somewhat accomplished today, until tomorrow when I get to go to the dentist, clean, and stuff...apartment is still gross.

before long I will be back in Oxford, hopefully break is good...we'll see...

Side to Side

Day started out bleh:

Woke up, and discovered a lot of snow outside, and snow steadily coming down, making most of the landscape unvisible...Then I realized...I need a shovel.

So, I attempted to wake my roommate up to tell her to plan accordingly to get her errands done (while it was not incredibly snowy) ... that failed.

On my way out of my apartment complex...I couldn't see out of my windshield...so I stopped, scraped it all off...and then it came back...and the windshield fluid made it worse, not because it froze, but I guess there mightve been weird stuff on the windshield and it just smeared around...so I had to stop again because I couldn't even see the speed bumps and only was aware of them After going over them...

I went to Wal-Mart.  Fishtailed a little a few times on the way. This did not make me very happy because I could not see, the road there was awful, and I didn't like making myself and others nervous.  Bought a shovel and a few other things.

My trip home from Wal-Mart was exceedingly better but I was still a little sad of how the trip to Wal-Mart went. But, once I got home I shoveled some of the snow around my little parking spot, chipped off the snow that was stuck behind the tires, and filled up car with de-icer windshield washer fluid. Gotta be prepared!

Um, was a little nervous about going to Vanessa's graduation dinner in Worthington but, eventually the snow cleared up some and I made it there REALLY early, but better than late.

Food was delicious. Vanessa and I ate a TONNN of steak and such....and the wine was awesome, as was dessert and cappuccino.

As Vanessa's dad warmed up their car before we left, Will went to go clean my car and warm it up.  By the time we left, my car was in front of the door, which is very nice as I got to be warm once I got into my car and changed into my boots so I could drive.

The drive home was fine though I ended up taking some weird route by accident...either way, there was little traffic, couldn't see any lines, and I didn't feel like I was going to hit something.  Minimal sliding, lol.

Now my body is very confused.  Wine makes me sorta sleepy and caffeine makes me feel anxious, it is a very confusing state.

I hope to return a dress tomorrow to the mall and make a snowman.  Those are my Monday goals. Sounds reasonable, right?

I am glad to not have school, I like feeling like I have a life.  School shouldn't be my whole life, even though important :)

Congratulations, Vanessa, on graduating!

cheers!

just want to feel

I want to feel like I mean the world to somebody.

is that selfish?

or needy?

because I already feel a Lot of other positive things. I feel accomplished, ambitious, loved by friends, admired, relieved, etc.

but still feeling like I want more.

is that unreasonable? to want to feel more than just my acknowledged presence, because I already know I exist.

in life, I want to strive for more, I want to get as much as I can from my life so I give as much energy into life, but I want to have renewed feelings to fuel this life.

but I need to find a way to make this happen for myself. I need to pursue things that satisfy me and make me happy. I need to pursue what I want, which is more.