Not the greatest of days

Well, the morning wasn't too bad. I got to dawdle a lot this morning. I'm so used to waking up at 6am for Tuesday-Friday so it was just natural for me to wake up at 6am on Monday even though I don't have to be on campus until 8AM. The morning was nice... I'm glad I got to enjoy an hour because the rest of the day surely wasn't very fun.

I did not enjoy my dentist appointment at all. I've had a couple cavities filled before but this is the first time I got so numbed up with those needles. I'm not sure it was necessary but the whole process was much more uncomfortable than I remember and I was phlegmy and gaggy. I'm glad it was eventually over but by that point I couldn't feel my mouth, tongue, or cheeks. Dentist said it'd be gone in another hour...2 hours later...still can't feel anything so that meant I couldn't eat. By then I was sooo hungry...

Group meeting for my Pharmacy class was alright. It was productive. Sort of had to take the lead. Maybe it was my crazy sugar level from lack of eating that made me just want to get it all over with.

I eventually felt well enough to eat...even after I ...stupidly...attempted to eat some food even tho I can't feel anything. It was risky. I wouldn't have been able to feel biting my tongue or cheeks. Anyway, that went ok...and I eventually ate. Yay...not very much though because then I had class...then had to walk back to meet with my adviser.

Emma and I walked in the rain. Sideways rain. Soaking wet. Cold. .. then sat to figure out some stats stuff with adviser who sent me home with a long list of things to run thru SAS. This isn't going to be very fun but I got a head start on it when I got home... so hopefully I'll be able to finish it all soon.

Being physically uncomfortable and having gloomy weather did not help my mood. It's not that I never see people but I still feel lonely at times. Even when I make plans to see people, it's like something is missing.

I realize that even though it was sweet that somebody opened the door for me on Saturday (not even the door he was meant to go thru)... I was overwhelmed by the gesture. I realize it's just within the normal range of nice things to do but I guess I'm just craving such gestures. Looking back on it now... even though at the time it made me so happy... now it makes me sad.

It's lonely out here. I can only imagine how lonely I'd be if I moved farther away.

I want to feel special and adored.

May be why I am watching The Bachelor right now. Ah, always a dreamer.