The movie we watched in Epi was just depressing...about the Influenza epidemic in 1918. There was this chant the children sang..."I had a little bird and his name was Enza. I opened the window and in flew Enza."...Influenza...
It was just depressing.
That and I guess there are a lot of things right now that are Not positive.
-People are confusing and sometimes I don't know what to do or how to react
-School is kicking my butt and it's not looking up
-I have a lot of projects/assignments to do OVER break. What kind of break is this?!
-I can't go backpacking because I don't have the time to prepare for it and it is being a major hassle right now...I can't handle that right now.
-I'm feeling real moody lately and that's just getting on my own nerves
-School is just generally taking over my life. I want summer, I miss feeling like I have my life. I miss feeling more like myself. Lately it's just been tiresome and it's just hard to be energetic. Drained, and I am afraid it has affected my interaction with others.
As bad as it sounds, sometimes I feel like class is like a competition. I don't want it to be but it's hard to resist, especially when it's going to be difficult to get to where I want to be. Physics especially has sort of pointed this out to me. Teacher has stressed over and over to us to do our homework and quizzes on our own. On one hand this frustrates me because a lot of our grades is based on this and it is important to get whatever points we can get. On the other hand, I feel like I am a guinea pig. That is not a pleasant feeling. With my schedule as it is now, time is tight, and I've gotten into the habit of rushing into things and doing things as early as I can. Rushing is bad. But, I do want to get things out of the way. Unfortunately, not everybody starts that early. I don't mean to whine and it's nothing personal but it's something to think about. This does not make me feel comfortable but I am just generally overwhelmed lately and whatever time I do get a hold of I try to get more stuff done and I get a little impatient when I have to backtrack and look over stuff from a couple days ago again because when you're in the zone, your mind gets so focused and when thrown off, it's hard to get back on track. But, at the same time, I am not against mutual helping at all, but I guess it's difficult to know where to draw the line. This jut sort of sucks. Since when has school become less about the actual learning and more about the numbers? I guess, it's been like that for a while, but I really do like learning and I guess all I can try to do is to not let it all get in the way and impede on my taking it all in.
On the bright side...I am going rock climbing tonight. It'll be a good vacation from stress. I really should stop worrying this much.
Oh well, now that that's out of the way, I feel a little better. AND that didn't take long! oh good.
Time to be productive again.
P.S. I am going backpacking! though that's another weekend preoccupied.
If your teacher doesn't want you to work together, your teacher doesn't want you to learn. Jerry Miller (one of the best teachers I've had) encouraged us to work together. He'd give us take home exam questions and say he'd be happy if he saw 17 identical (correct) answers. You learn better when you talk about problems. And maybe if you focus on learning the junk and don't worry about grades, maybe you'll the grades you need. I try to do that and it generally works.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, and if you need a break you can always come visit (or wisit, as this Serbian guy would say) :)
Enjoy backpacking.