How we limit ourselves

I have occasional downtime at work so I continued to contemplate thoughts that kept me up for a while last night.  I do feel a little better now.  It is much easier to see the faults in others before our own flaws.  This is partly due to how we limit ourselves.  By focusing on specific details in others we overlook other details that may either explain the faults, undo faults because they have been given context, and focusing on our own insecurities as opposed to actively finding solutions to make ourselves better because it is so much easier to want to fix somebody else.  Of course, it is not possible or right to try to change somebody else like that.  It is much easier to nit pick at the work of others.  This was emphasized today as I was given the assignment of editing a grant today which took about 5 hours...but those 5 hours, although that is a long time to be so absorbed...was so consuming as I nit picked at the work of these other strangers.  It came so easily but when I took the time to sit back I saw a lot of myself in what I was doing and it reminded me of ways I can improve my own writing.

Just as we nitpick at the character of other people, we should sit back and look into ourselves.  The things we nitpick at are specific for a reason, whether or not we can figure it out.  I feel like the more we judge others the more issues we have with ourselves.

Things I have learned about myself...

I need to let go.
I need to be less anxious.
I need to be less selfish.
I need to be more assertive.
I need more patience.
I need to open up my mind.
I need to not be so quick to react.

Other ways we limit ourselves is by setting up strict schedules and criteria for ourselves and life instead of taking in the nature of life and moving organically through time.  Guidelines are what they are...just guidelines.  Adhering too strictly may prevent us from seeing the possibilities and good things we have in our life.  Our wants and needs in life are also always changing...so should our guidelines...adjusting them accordingly.

When I was younger...high school and undergrad, I itched to travel... I had unlimited energy and I just wanted to see everything...take it all in.  I've grown to be more focused and specialized in the preferences of my life.  I like to be more of a homebody with occasional adventures.  I think in a way I still have to jump around in my life as I find the specialization I want to continue with long term in my life, especially in a career.  But even in my personal life, I realize setting a timeline to figure out the basic steps in my life are holding me back.  Focusing on knowing exactly when I am going to graduate, get a job, find a permanent location...is actually very difficult.  Because I am not an island.  If I did not care about anybody else it would be easy enough to just charge forward...but now it's difficult to know how to go forward.  Everybody moves through life at different paces, doing things at different times...Wanting the lives of others and of what is familiar may prevent me from just living my own life in the way that is best for me.

What do I want now (for like the next 5 years?) then?

Practicality: I want to know what my options are in locations to settle for at least a few years. I also want to know where I can and should work.

Personally: I want life to be smoother.  I want to be inspired.  I want to be wooed.  I want time/resources...especially time.  I want a real vacation.  I want to make a home. I want to be healthier.

What I can do:
Be more open to my options, be less difficult on others, be easier on myself, allow myself to make changes, stop limiting myself, relax more, and be more efficient with my time to leave more room for this relaxation and life.