Bieber let us leave work early!

Thanks to Justin Bieber's concert being in town, we were told we can go home early today so we don't end up in all that awful traffic.  To celebrate, here is a video:

Life is moving too fast

Today was quite a day.  Actually the past two weeks have been... something else.  I do certainly still love my job but it's even more obvious that there is still a steep learning curve and that everything is just accelerating even more.  Timelines are tight, technology sometimes hates me (thankfully my work computer is zippy!) but more realistically it's not the technology that hates me, it's the user that needs to hone in more skills.

SAS is not for the weak.

I hope I'm strong enough! My brain is in for more of a work out for sure.

Also, I need to just slow myself down.  I know that when I get stressed I just go ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM and sometimes that is not good... not necessarily all bad, but I need to get better first.  Hopefully I can spend some time next week figuring out how to build good macros/arrays with SAS.  I have a basic understanding but very basic... At least I know I have no major qualms about working long hours because I think I've been in the office about 10 hours a day this week and a couple more hours in the evening spread out. But, I'm mostly satisfied with how things turned out this week although I am a bit of a paranoid person by nature.  Our VP is so brilliant! sometimes I wonder how I am perceived.  I came out feeling a little stupid but I suppose that just means I have much to learn! (though, I knew this).  Good thing I like to learn.  I just hope I can keep up! Definitely going to try.

It was nice that we had a baby shower for a colleague yesterday.  It was a nice temporary break for my brain. Probably much needed.  We played games and I discovered I'm pretty decent at children book names and baby facts.  I think I was the only one who knew that babies have no knee caps! Apparently I have a decent gauge on finances because I answered correctly to the cost of raising a child up to one year of age (excluding medical) and was close in guessing number of diapers changed in 2 years. Woo. It's the little things in life, right? of course the big things are fabulous too.

Josh should be here in the near future. HOoray! Planning on going Kart racing tomorrow :).  Lasagna in the oven just waiting for his arrival!  I think Molly is coming too! woof woof :)

Miami University ranks in Top 10 ‘party schools’

Miami University ranks in Top 10 ‘party schools’

Eeeeep. Work hard, play hard.  Hope they don't fall too far down in rankings though...

Finding my place and loving it!

You know it's been a while since I've written a post when once again, the layout of blogger changes.... I've been here working for nearly 3 months now and it's been quite an experience... I'd say 95% Great and 5% Anxiety. Which, if you know me well... that is really good that it's only at 5% for my Anxiety. The job is stressful but I'm learning to channel this stress towards good and exploring the data and just diving in. Apparently that's one of my personality traits according to the Predictive Index. Essentially I am
 1) Dominant (the most under my manager, haha) which demonstrates that I am independent, assertive and a self-starter
2) Mildly patient (I don't see how this is, but maybe I'm patient about the process of how things work).
3) Mildly Introverted (thinking things through).
4) Creative/Innovative
5) Apparently I'm not afraid of failure/rejection and keep pushing forward I think I am somewhat apprehensive as of late because I'm not used to this kind of position.

 I mean, until now, I was used to just being told what to do and having my new ideas go nowhere because people didn't want to pursue new things. Now, I can actually really get engaged with the team, contribute, let my ideas flow, and actually see things happen!

Even though the timelines given are sometimes really fast and sometimes I think they're cutting it really close... I'm learning that because of that it is crucial to get a handle on all things data and SAS to get things done efficiently because you never know what kind of things need to be done to get the data organized and coded in a useful manner. It's cool that we can use this to our advantage in terms of management and working together as a team to really put us out there in the organization. Data can show some really cool things and I'm learning a lot on the way. .... I also love my coworkers.

They are so awesome. I'm pretty close to two of them as we are young, lol. I'm still the youngest but I don't want that to be my disadvantage. If anything, I will try to put it to my advantage because I've got the energy to just throw myself into any project and I'm hoping that I truly will be independent/competent in a few months. I love my job and I hope I can continue feeling that way. I'm really getting used to my new life/routine although sometimes I do get a little lonely and I wish I had somebody here to motivate and encourage me... or at least make me do things that are not work. hah. 

Life is good. I have a great family, great guy, great friends, great job. The rest, even if they are annoying... are just little blips. No big deal. I just have to adapt, be resilient, and enjoy life to the best of my ability. At least I've been doing better about being healthy. I've been eating better, I try to move around more, and I try to keep my spirits up. Looking forward to whatever the future holds but at the same time I want to revel in the present because I'm realizing time goes by too fast! was looking over old photos with the fam of Luke for his school assignment and he was suuuuch a cutie and I miss his baby-ness. He's still super cute and I'm really upset that he had a bully in preschool but he's such a sweet kid... hope kindergarten is a lot better. He is pretty awesome.

Life in Kentucky is pretty good. Crazy.

So, first off... I Love My Job! :)
I love the fast-paced work, the brilliant coworkers, the amazing technology, and of course the perks of working for Humana.  This place fits me well and the people I am surrounded by inspire me to be great in my professional development.  I feel challenged. It is exciting work and I actually see results and actually make a difference in health behavior, predictive modeling, and of course a major company's bottom line which also increases my cost shares, haha.  Learning a lot about how everything in health comes together... pharmaceuticals, risks, costs, types of insurance, health risks, incentives, health behaviors, drivers of health behaviors, how companies are run, politics, etc.  So much going on all the time! Get to talk to people from all over... I can't wait to learn even more and become more autonomous/independent/innovative.  I think I'm on track.

Living in Kentucky is pretty good so far apart from the terrifying drivers and experiences as a pedestrian in this city.... and the storms... hail... yea...

Otherwise, it's peaceful, I really like my apartment... Although, life is expensive but the reality of it is that that is how life is and if I have to live alone I want to be somewhere nice and safe.  That, and as Josh says... I'm not exactly the simplest of person in terms of living.  But, I'm not impractical as I am actually very good with money....hah.  It doesn't help that coworkers want to go out to eat at lunch and sometimes dinner... and sometimes I will indulge because I want to get to know people better because when we are at work we are all pretty absorbed because some of the work is intense.  But... these two weeeks is OFFICE OLYMPICS! My Team (Team Delta) has not won any events so far though.  My paper airplane flew really well in practice but it just couldn't handle the pressure.  And... playing backgammon with strategic people while I have no real experience...was not successful but I only lost by one chip-thing so that's not bad, really.  Hopefully other events prove to be more successful.  Darts, Chariot Races, Trivia, paper toss, etc.... of course this happens around lunch so we don't lose work time but we do get to build relationships with each other! our VP is really cool.  She bought us backgammon for our olympics, and she gave me tips on how to play.  I love that these people work really hard, and are brilliant, but yet have lives and personalities.  Very encouraging indeed.

Josh likes it here when he visits so far which is good.  Haven't quite hashed out exactly what is going to happen in the future but we are both pretty flexible.  I get really good PTO, get paid well, and once I get better at what I do I'll have a little more freedom.  It's pretty much touch and go from here but I'm not too worried.  I'm pretty sure I'm resilient and adaptable.

Although, my manager did ask me if he plans on moving here. We'll see. We've discussed it but there's no rush and there are too many things to figure out in the mean time and we are both very busy.

There are so many other things going on lately too, but right now I'm just happy that life is good for the most part. :)

My body hurts and these calls don't help

Yesterday morning starting at 8AM I started receiving calls constantly until about 5-6PM.  Unsolicited calls.  I had just woken up.

They say they want to help me due to my auto accident, want to offer their medical services such as chiropractor and their legal services such as an attorney.  I keep telling them I already have a chiropractor but they use the same tactics as a telemarketer (which I'd know, haha) so I figured out pretty quickly that they have nothing to do with the other guy's insurance company and would give me something ambiguous when I asked how they know about me, and who they are with.  After the first two calls I quit answering because they would make themselves sound as legit as they could as if "third party" is just a term used loosely. No. I don't need more people confusing my life.

THen I called the guy's insurance company and she explained what was going on and I made sure I knew what numbers NOT to ignore because I'm not trying to be rude but I want to screen these calls.  I've been having to save more people's numbers into my contact list because of this.

By 5-6PM I had received over 30 calls and probably 10-15 voicemails.  Thankfully with my smartphone I can tell who calls and choose which voicemails I want to listen to and delete them pretty quickly without much of a hassle.

Anyway, this morning I talked to Josh's mom to make sure it's ok that Melissa n I come by Saturday to drop the dog off.  Dog can't go in rental car.

Which, btw, the rental car is actually pretty cool except it has terrible visibility especially since I can't move my neck much to see around me.  So, it is not a very pleasant driving experience and I am so floaty in the head that I don't want to drive at all.  Only reason I am driving that car is to get me groceries and to the chiropractor.

My chiropractor appointment went rather well today.  Construction getting there was a pain though.

He took x-rays of my neck, did some light alignment (which still hurt really badly even though I am medicated).  I will try to lay off on the medication so when I see the chiropractor again on Friday he will have a better idea of what my state is.  Before this accident I was in near perfect condition, he couldn't really find anything wrong with me and I was very lined up.  Now I am not and he didn't seem too pleased with what my spine and stuff look like now.  He would cringe occasionally as he was checking out my neck, back and how much I could move.  That isn't good because before this I'd always been a very flexible person with a rather strong back which I am aware of because of how much I can do with my back muscles on weight machines.  Good thing I have decent muscles to begin with.  It will take some time for me to get back to my original condition.  I would also like to stop feeling so weak/floaty/sleepy all the time.  Although I am awake now because my body aches which woke me up.

The claims person from the guy's insurance is going to come see me in like 5 hours or so to talk to me in person.  We'll see how that goes. I don't want to settle. Not because I want a lot of money, I just don't know how long it will be for me to be 100% again and what it will take.

Good thing is that as soon as the body shop gets the parts the baby FIAT can be fixed in 4-5 days.

Ugh, I just want everything to be normal and dealing with work from home and trying to make myself concentrate on my culminating when I am feeling so floaty and not hearing back from my advisor and second reader yet is frustrating.

Blah.

Baby Fiat is Injured. and in shop.

I don't think I am a lucky person. AT ALL.

Coming back from the mall... I was sitting at the light at 270/Wilson-ish.  Had just gotten off Exit 10 onto Roberts Road.  Got rear ended by an oldsmobile.  Thankfully that car is short and went straight for my bumper and not the rest of the car.  My car is ok-ish.  Just the bumper jacked up and falling off.  And my leg hurts and I smacked my head.  I hobble.

His car was in TERRIBLE shape.  Totally smashed up front, window totally shattered.  He was beating the inside of his car and hitting the horn in anger and his horn went for so long it died.  THen he had to kick the door to get himself out.  I was a sitting duck.  He was searching for his wallet when it happened? so essentially he was too close to me, wasn't looking, and the light was RED. he would have probably run it if I wasn't there.

So... cop was very nice.  I immediately called 9-11, my road-side assistance with FIAT which sent a tow truck in like 40 minutes.  By that time I had talked to my mother, father, and Trish.  And the medics who think I should be ok but my leg hurts/sore.

By the time I was in the tow truck headed towards bob boyd collision center the other guy was still waiting for tow truck and Trish was on her way to meet me there to take me home. She is awesome.

She also helped me walk Molly (who is also limpy). We are quite a pair.

Antonio will pick me up for work tomorrow thankfully.

Life. Expect the unexpected.

I am sore.

Found New Home in Kentucky

Melissa was very kind to volunteer to accompany me to Louisville to look for a new home for me... She came Friday after work.  Then we had dinner at Mazah Mediterranean Eatery (which is inexpensive, quick, and delicious!).  Then we made it just in time to watch Five Year Engagement which was a wonderfully cute and meaningful movie!  It reminded me how important it is not to lose yourself and give yourself up in a relationship because life would be unhappy and you'd resent the other person.

Woke up at 6-ish AM. Woke Melissa up at around 6:30 AM.  We had breakfast, got ready, repacked... I moved my roomie's car from the front of the garage (...really?) and then we hit the road at around 7:30AM.

We managed to have beauuutiful weather! it sprinkled occasionally as we practically followed the rain but it was primarily just overcast.  Good temperature, no real rain... it was a very nice drive with little traffic.  Did stop about 20 minutes out of Louisville because I was running low on fuel (thanks to my tiny ~10gallon tank, lol) and had to pee.  Very old gas-pump, even at a BP. I had trouble reading the screen as it was just a bunch of scrolling dots.

Got to Louisville at 11AM and arrived at our first apartment complex next to a mall.  From online the apartments looked like they would be beautiful and give my current complex, The Quarry, a run for its money (literally) but no... it was a hack job.  The apartment buildings had really random vinyl siding colorations.  For example... a building is supposed to be light blue but some of the siding fell off at some point perhaps... instead of replacing it with light blue it could be yellow, gray, green, cream... It's like they just threw it on at night or they are color blind.  Paint job was pretty bad.  Kitchen cabinets were ugly. Bathroom was just tolerable. And they were asking for $850 for a 1b1b. Really? It's not the cost... It's what you get for the cost.  I'd be perfectly willing to pay that much for something like the quarry... not something I could do a better job of myself. Hack job. Also, it had a really tiny pool.... smaller than our "mini" pool here at the Quarry.

Then we had lunch at the mall. We got very disoriented as there were no real patterns/logic to parking lot placement... so we had trouble figuring out where food was.  Managed to find a Qdoba.

Then we went to destination 2.  It was pretty great. The clubhouse - GORGEOUS. SO HUGE! It has nice pool, outdoor kitchen, table tennis, pool, grand piano, nice loungy chairs, yoga/pilates room, nice workout center... overall, I have never seen such a nice leasing office/club house.  And there are two tennis courts :-D. Oh, and a car wash area!!! and no doggie size restrictions!!!   Melissa and I were impressed especially with the professional presentation of the management staff.

The apartment units themselves are ok. Definitely no Quarry but I've come to conclude that such a place does not even exist in that city... if it does, I cannot find it and I am a pretty resourceful person.  IF it does exist I am not paying like 1k for a one bedroom.  I managed to find a first floor, overlooking a courtyard, decent parking, may be able to get a car port, BAY WINDOW! SO EXCITED ABOUT BAY WINDOW ! (i have always wanted one).  The size of the apartment is decent as is the kitchen. Bedroom is smaller and the bathroom is half the size of my current one but I realize my current bathroom is just ridiculously large.  FOr the price (less than 800) I am very happy with the location and the apartment itself.  The money I save I can put towards other things! ie, shopping, cable TV, paying off things faster, eating out, fun stuff, etc.

Above is the layout of my new home.


Then we saw another apartment complex. It was very nice but I didn't love it more than the second one and they wanted $100 more.  I really wanted to love this one though.  But it wasn't as much as I had hoped in terms of what they had to offer.

The whole rental market is really saturated right now so I am pleased to at least find something I like in ONE DAY because Louisville is a bit far for me to continue visiting... especially since I primarily live in Columbus.  I am looking forward to completing the move even though I will miss Columbus, my friends, and my apartment so-so-so much...But I will get over it... just as I will eventually get over the general disregard to traffic amongst the residents of Louisville.  Driving to and from work will be quite a challenge.  My tiny car gets bullied too.  I'm gonna have to learn to be more aggressive//skilled. Oh boy.

Looking forward to making my new home home-y! I just wish my job would hurry up n finish my background check n give me my itinerary because I am getting anxious! as usual.

I found a home! there and back (3.5 hours there), 3 apartment complexes, lunch and coffee, decide and apply for new apartment... in 12 hours. I'd say that is pretty impressive.

Welcome Home, my little FIAT

Welcome home, FIAT!

This morning my whole family and Josh went to Kings FIAT to get my new car. We were there forever(HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS = 3 HOURS) because my dad wanted to haggle. Understandable... he did pay for like half of it and cars are not cheap. That and it probably made him feel good. My parents were a little apprehensive at first because of its diminutive size. But they were pleasantly surprised at how roomy it is inside. My dad may still be a little apprehensive but my mom has warmed up to it more. Such a fun little car to drive. It's got oomph!

My mom also thought the Gucci FIAT is beautiful... well of course... and it costs a lot, hehe.

After we got back to Oxford, Josh and I took the FIAT to go to Hueston Woods to take some photos with his family (his grandparents, uncle and aunt came down to visit for his grandparents 60th anniversary! SO CUTE). Then to dinner at Josh's parents house.

It's been such a fun day and evening and I love my adorable new car and Josh approves of it too, he joked about how he might not give it back to me, hehe.

Going around the curvy roads of Southwest Ohio is such a joy with this car though. Apparently the 6 speed transmission of this vehicle really does what it is meant to do because while Josh was shifting back and forth and doing whatever it is he does, he was very pleased with its performance and petted the car going, "good little transmission." It took little potholes relatively well and sometimes the car does "bounce" when zipping around but it's not a jolting bounce, it just makes you look like you are barely bobbing to music. It looked like we were dancing to music to the awesome Bose stereo system. We spent a lot of the driving smiling and giggling. Details are great, it is sturdy for its size, it is an adorable car, and it drives with energy, urgency, and joy.

Welcome home, FIAT! I will probably name you later

So Blessed and Relieved

Got the job offer! it is a good one. I almost fainted and my feet instantly fell asleep and stayed asleep for about an hour.

So overwhelmed.

Talked to Jim ("boss") before i officially accepted because mom and dad weren't answering the phone (mom was mowing and dad was teaching i think). Everybody is so excited!

I accepted and I thought I was going to burst and pass out.

Hyperventilated some.

Mom finally got a chance to call me... I was pathetic and was so overwhelmed from joy and exhaustion and the happiness from her support and kind words that I cried. Maybe it was also because I was hungry because the call came during my lunch.

Had to cancel a different interview right after i accepted (whew).

I am so happy.

The only down side is my culminating.... adviser isn't too pleased because things are gonna have to change with it and it may be tricky on how we approach discussing and analyzing the results... and may have to run more programs (my nightmare). So I accepted a job that uses SAS yet right now SAS and I have a love/hate relationship where half the time I want to throw my computer out the window...

My job is going to be so interesting.

Now I'm just waiting for Josh to have time and be done with his school/group meetings to talk to me about this because I am still bursting. I keep on wanting to just lie down because I feel so light headed and floaty.

Still Waiting

Still waiting on the official offer from the job I want. Verbal "offer is coming" does not put me at ease. I want something concrete. Something in my hands. Stress*stress*

No wonder this is Stress Awareness Month because I am certainly very aware... just need to follow through and deal with it somehow.

On the other hand, this past weekend was pretty wonderful. Spent time with my family and Josh's family. It was a very busy weekend. Also I got to meet baby Daniel! Josh's new nephew. He's cute.

Josh and I introduced Luke to the first Star Wars movie, Luke liked it and was quite excited that there is a Luke in the movie. He caught that pretty quickly.

Oh, and I bought a new dress. I cannot wait to debut it in like two weeks! to celebrate three years together :) Also, I guess Josh's grandparents will be in town that weekend as well so it'll be nice to see them.

Work is dragging but I must stay as many hours as I can to make money$$$$.

New Car in near/foreseeable future.

Moving will be expensive.

Initial cost will be expensive as well such as paying for two apartments initially...and then just the usual initial apartment costs.

Ah.Future.So.Close...looming?

I am trying to keep myself preoccupied so as to not freak out about everything. i also have a phone interview thursday for a different position. Although, I don't care for it, if I don't receive that call like... TOMORROW I am going to have to follow through with it because it would be rude to just cancel within 24 hours... and I gotta be realistic and make sure I don't screw things up for myself somehow. I am just tired of this whole process, really. EEEEAAAAHHHHH...

This week is just dragging yet it is busy enough... Looking forward to hanging out with people tomorrow, friday, and saturday. Probably test driving cars Saturday as well. Wheeee...

I JUST WANT THEM TO CALL. I don't handle stress like this well.

Blessed despite the stress

Today has been an interesting day.

A lot of ups and downs.

Had a lot of back and forth phone conversations with the recruiter at the job I want. Heh, we've talked so many times by now it just seems normal, hahahaha.

Almost had to drive back there again to speak with a VP.

I am really hoping for a good offer and I think one is coming within a week... I really hope that it does.

Manager was a little moody today so that was interesting. I think the environment is starting to get tedious/overwhelming.

So tired/stressed/confused today that I nearly passed out in a professor's (second reader) office and a different professor had to bring me water and wet towel while i sat in a daze trying to make myself eat the candy to bring up my sugar levels. It was embarrassing. But they are so sweet. By the time I got to my advisor she looked at me all concerned and tried to make me go home but I insisted we get stuff done cus I don't know when I'll have time. Thankfully it was a great meeting, we got a lot done, a lot of progress, i can write soon and we bonded... good thing too because she is leaving the country this weekend and won't be back til May 16... so essentially... she'll still be jet lagged when I present. fun.

so tired. Been laying in bed since then pretty much.

So many emotions.

But, I have a great support system and life is good...i just need to pull myself together and not worry myself sick. Which....is pretty much what happened.

I still want the fiat.

I want a job.

I want a vacation. (my adviser did say I should visit her in Sweden sometime, maybe i will... i don't know if she is being serious but she certainly could be...)

P.S. discovered a steep late fee on paying this quarter's tuition. I was so busy/preoccupied I forgot I technically have a "class" aka my culminating/thesis. Hopefully being so busy/preoccupied literally pays off for these mistakes w a real job. SOON. I may barely make it thru summer. NEED JOB.

Awa, what? Awapuhi!

My new favorite shampoo! smells amazing and my hair feels great!

I've been looking for something like this for so long!!! perfection.

This is much better than my anxiety and emotional roller coaster of a relationship with SAS programming right now. I am taking a break from it today... I will return to it tomorrow... and hopefully get what I need done.

I can't wait to finish my analysis and to officially start writing my thesis to get ready to graduate! ah!

FIAT!

Josh and I went to the auto show this weekend. Although the coolest car was the new Subaru BR-Z, I decided I am still in love with the... Fiat!

This color, this model... so cute! it's like an old vintage colored refrigerator. This would age beautifully...but it is so expensive! eeeeh. 20K. Eeeeh. So cute and huggable!

Public Service

What is Public Service? I realize I've been thinking a lot about where I should be in my life and where I should go. Public vs. Private.

I believe in the intentions of Public Service but my concern is about the barriers of implementation towards social progress, social good, etc.

It's not appropriate for me to discuss certain matters but I've come to learn a lot about what I want and what I admire.

My manager at work is somebody that really lives the intentions of public service, whether he is aware of it or not so I really value his opinions and guidance. He understands that in order to work as a society, we have to work together, not do just enough to get by. Even if it is not explicitly written in job descriptions, as long as it is not morally wrong, or unethical, and does not inhibit productivity at the job, it is not wrong to take on tasks to help others out because it is a win-win in my mind. You are appreciating colleagues more, you are helping them, investing in the group, and this promotes an atmosphere of teamwork which to get anything done in the public sector, is crucial. I would say that majority of people I know who work in the public sector truly care and do their best work, they are amazing people, but I do get the sense that creativity is suppressed. It's not really because of the people and quality of workers because they are of great quality, but perhaps it is the environment and the bureaucracy. I realize it is very difficult to know where to draw the line and it is very easy to cross this arbitrary line when it comes to making sure things are done under protocol/policies/rules that manage the system. But, how much is too much? I think that managing anything must be incredibly difficult. This is something I had not really thought about previously but more has been brought to light as of late.

Maybe people have gotten complacent, maybe there is no reason to go above and beyond. I think it's in our nature to not do things unless it is out of necessity. This country has a history of ingenuity and great things but I don't think we should all get too comfortable...it may be stifling us.

Or at least, myself.

Even though it is comfortable to work for the public sector, I think at this stage in my life it is just the right time to be taking risks, to really do more cutting-edge things, to really see where my ambition can take me, to explore what the world has to offer and what I can offer this world. Of course this assumes I can actually get the opportunity to work in the private sector (with competitive pay compared to the public sector) but, I think it would be good for me. Maybe use those skills from the private sector to eventually apply it to the public sector... to shake things up a bit. I really do believe in the society. I believe in social progress. We have so many brilliant people in the world and we have so many problems going on... are they hiding? or maybe they're already working for the private sector.

I think that pursuing the private sector will help me do the public sector some good. Everything is interconnected. I want to contribute to the economy. I want to develop the skills I think are necessary to help solve problems. I want to do my part. It's interesting to see that maybe it is possible to do the public some good through the private/corporate world. I've met people who feel the same way and I hope they are not just saying pretty nothings to me. I hope these are truths.

I don't know what is going on but I do know that for myself, I want to feel inspired. I feel like I've lost a lot of my spirit. I feel like I've become complacent and maybe too comfortable. Maybe I need to shake up my life.

I want to see changes in the world, I want to see good changes, but I also know that first I need to change my own little world. I have my own problems, I have to learn to take care of myself too. There is plenty about myself I have yet to discover and I want to be an environment that will encourage that. I hope I have a lot to offer this world and I want to feel invigorated, accomplished, excited, happy... many good things.

I want an adventure.

I'm young and it's time to take advantage of that.

How far is too far? How to stay on the same page?

I'm very thankful to have received a lot of responses from potential employers. I have finished 3 interviews (the process) and have two more set up with two different employers.

This past weekend was great and I learned so much about myself, the real world, and what I want.

Although I found the job I interviewed for this weekend "by accident" it is an amazing accident. It's in a field I am unfamiliar with or would not have thought I would enjoy but after the (very long) interview, I came out feeling very relieved and enthusiastic and I hope they feel the same way about me. I should hear back from them in about 1.5 weeks more from now.

I have an interview this coming Monday (a friend is interviewing for the same position). THis would not require relocating and it does sound interesting at least, maybe not as exciting as the job before but certainly worth a try and it's always good to have opportunities.

After work I received another call for another position but the interview isn't til April. Although a month ago I would've decided that would've been the best for me, I realize I want something that is really stimulating/fun/challenging without all the tedious bureaucracy but if it comes down to it, I may check it out if I have not accepted an offer by then.

A decision is a decision and one must follow through and be responsible.

Also... now comes to the question of how far is too far? Josh and I live 2 hours apart right now and so far that has been OK and has probably been good for us at this stage in our lives to figure out what we want in a career. I know he wants to work somewhere with an automobile industry but I don't know how I feel about some of those cities. Also, the job I interviewed this weekend is amazing for the future due to its flexibility and manageability when comes time to have a family.

We have a lot to talk about still and figure out. But, that'll happen soon enough becomes he comes up to visit tomorrow for the weekend! hooray! :-D

Dress for the job you Want.

So ready for the upcoming interviews :)

Thanks goes to The Limited's $100 off Suit sale and TJ Maxx for the great purse/wallet set!

Good day

Found my dream job at ODH, well I think it is my dream job. Applied... we'll see how this goes because...Unions do exist.

Got to sit in on interview, that was fun.

Got pretty good with mail-merging. I enjoy being efficient!

Had caffeine.

Told that I get to take charge of all our print materials/media yayyy! I get to be creative, yay!

Meeting with the director of Obesity at ODH tomorrow, more interviews, meetings...and then I have my second phone screening for a job! ahhh!!! time flies. AHHH CAFFEINE.

Mindful Living: Making time for a bucket list

From Huffington Post's Mindful Living :

"If we look into our lives, we will see clearly how many
unimportant tasks, so called 'responsibilities' accumulate
to fill them up. One master compares them to 'housekeeping
in a dream.' We tell ourselves we want to spend time on the
important things of life, but there never is any time." -- Tibetan teacher Sogyal Rinpoche

This is too true, especially for me.

What would I do if I had enough time? (Maybe I can implement these things a little at a time, deliberately, through my life - and MAKE time because I am sure most of the stuff on my "to-do" list probably aren't CRUCIAL, I just think they are because that's part of who I am...anxious...worried...and overly productive?).

1. Have a dog
2. Paint a mural on a wall
3. Zip-Lining
4. Travel to Europe
5. Visit Tibet
6. Explore Australia (See Kangaroos in their natural environment!)
7. Go to Kenya and see Giraffes in their natural environment
8. Have a pet domesticated fox
9. Really get into shape
10. Visit P.E.I., Canada
11. Go on a Cruise
12. Disneyland
13. Go to California
14. Climb a Mountain
15. See Northern Lights
16. Cherry Blossoms in Japan
17. Learn to properly drive a manual car
18. Learn to swim better

I am sure there is more, but this is what I've come up with off the top of my head.

February

Had a wonderful Valentines Day, the third one together! Before he came to visit I made an absolutely delicious cake. It took 2 evenings to make it and I don't have a blender so it even gave me a nice arm work out, hah.

This is the

Blackberry Red Wine and Chocolate Cake

He definitely approved and said it's better than any grocery store cake he's had :-P . You know, that is pretty good as far as I am concerned but I'd go as far as to say it's one of the best cakes I've tasted, personally. I am a very big fan of raspberries and chocolate.

We also went to see the Blue Man Group with Trish and Brian. It was fun dressing up. My new peep toe shoes had their first time out. The only down side is they didn't quite fit right and I hadn't been able to get my foot petals yet to have them fit comfortably and properly. So... my toes were very uncomfortable and they would slip... but, I still think it was worth it as I looked pretty awesome as a walking disco ball. That's how I felt anyway. Black full sequen tank and bandage blue mini skirt. It was a cold evening, but I cannot control the weather and I really wanted to wear sequins! It felt so appropriate for Blue Man Group! and I enjoyed being a disco ball in my room and Josh and I got a kick out of the sun reflecting off of me onto all the walls and the ceiling in my room. I tried to take a picture of it but it didn't come out but you can imagine what it looked like anyway. It was a great evening and we barely made it into the show on time. They are so hilarious! such comedians! it was like a party in there! Improv, Silly String, Paint, Giant colorful glowing weather balloon like things bouncing around...butt shaking. We laughed the entire time.

That was such a great weekend of just time to spend together and we also found good deals at Eddie Bauer Outlet near my apartment. That's probably the most excitement I'll have this month.

Life isn't super exciting but I have a lot to be thankful for.

I need to stop shopping though. Recently I found these awesome espadrilles from TJ Maxx:

They are a half size too big but that
was all they had and it does fit Ok! Especially with my foot petals :) They are cute, over half off, and
are just the type of shoes I've been looking for. I am now on the look out for well-priced(aka cheap but of good quality) purse to go with it and I've been on the look out for a good cream or camel colored trench coat for spring.

Now I've mostly just got class, culminating, and work. Not much else.

Essentially what I learned this week in class about aromatherapy is that the essential oils from Bath and Body (and just about any major commercialized oils) are essentially crap. They are the leftovers from the therapeutic grade oils. I could smell a huge difference between the yucky lavender and the good stuff. I could never figure out why the lavender lotions and stuff made me feel nauseous because this stuff smelled so clean and pure. The guest speaker talked to us a lot about energy fields and stuff and explained that dogs (and other animals) have super sensitive energy fields and absorb the energy fields of their humans. Which essentially means that Molly is a nervous wreck because Josh must have some anxiety that has not been healed (or one of the other of us who interact with her... if that is the case, it is probably my fault...). Regardless of which human (if it is a human's fault at all.. I mean really) if this woman could "fix" Molly... I think I'd buy into it. I mean I'd probably be impressed if she got Molly to even voluntarily come near her at all... or not be scared of the dishwasher... or the world. Fun class . Some of the stuff seems silly, some really interesting and useful, and some is way over my head. I am clearly not a pharmacy student... or else that midterm exam would have gone a lot better.

Oh, my roommate borrowed her adviser's dog on Saturday. Cute dog. yapper. dog got to go to the mall. My roommate is definitely not ready to actually have a dog though...it's not hopeless but it'll take some work first.

Well...what's next? I need to stop shopping. I plan on making Panda Bread ! haha So fun! Trish is coming over on Sunday so we can bake these. Hmm... I need to work more on my culminating, I need to exercise more...I'm excited to see Josh the beginning of March. Ah, life...even though not much is going on I still appreciate what is going on at least.

Not the greatest of days

Well, the morning wasn't too bad. I got to dawdle a lot this morning. I'm so used to waking up at 6am for Tuesday-Friday so it was just natural for me to wake up at 6am on Monday even though I don't have to be on campus until 8AM. The morning was nice... I'm glad I got to enjoy an hour because the rest of the day surely wasn't very fun.

I did not enjoy my dentist appointment at all. I've had a couple cavities filled before but this is the first time I got so numbed up with those needles. I'm not sure it was necessary but the whole process was much more uncomfortable than I remember and I was phlegmy and gaggy. I'm glad it was eventually over but by that point I couldn't feel my mouth, tongue, or cheeks. Dentist said it'd be gone in another hour...2 hours later...still can't feel anything so that meant I couldn't eat. By then I was sooo hungry...

Group meeting for my Pharmacy class was alright. It was productive. Sort of had to take the lead. Maybe it was my crazy sugar level from lack of eating that made me just want to get it all over with.

I eventually felt well enough to eat...even after I ...stupidly...attempted to eat some food even tho I can't feel anything. It was risky. I wouldn't have been able to feel biting my tongue or cheeks. Anyway, that went ok...and I eventually ate. Yay...not very much though because then I had class...then had to walk back to meet with my adviser.

Emma and I walked in the rain. Sideways rain. Soaking wet. Cold. .. then sat to figure out some stats stuff with adviser who sent me home with a long list of things to run thru SAS. This isn't going to be very fun but I got a head start on it when I got home... so hopefully I'll be able to finish it all soon.

Being physically uncomfortable and having gloomy weather did not help my mood. It's not that I never see people but I still feel lonely at times. Even when I make plans to see people, it's like something is missing.

I realize that even though it was sweet that somebody opened the door for me on Saturday (not even the door he was meant to go thru)... I was overwhelmed by the gesture. I realize it's just within the normal range of nice things to do but I guess I'm just craving such gestures. Looking back on it now... even though at the time it made me so happy... now it makes me sad.

It's lonely out here. I can only imagine how lonely I'd be if I moved farther away.

I want to feel special and adored.

May be why I am watching The Bachelor right now. Ah, always a dreamer.

A new year, a different year

I'm sitting here in my cubicle at work. It is so warm in here and this is really not helping with my feeling slow. I had a lot of trouble waking up this morning, even though I got 8 hours of sleep. I suppose it does not make up for my troubled sleep, physically not feeling all that great, and my just generally feeling drained.

Research/Culminating consuming my brain,

Work is consuming my energy,

and Job searching/applying is consuming my time.

What do I have left? Some pretty amazing people in my life!

I haven't written in here in quite some time now...not for the lack of anything to say, but mostly the lack of time/energy to think of putting my thoughts into words.

Winter break was nice. Different. There was no snow, it was pretty mild, and I enjoyed my time with my loved ones.

Both my brother and I felt rather poorly so we spent many day just lounging on my bed watching movies. Sometimes he would feel so awful he'd pass out and it was so depressing to see how miserable he felt.

I enjoyed being around friends and I got to spend a lot of time with Josh and my family.

Christmas was nice. I'd say my favorite is the gift Josh made for me. He put a lot of time, energy, and resources into it and it means a lot to me. I haven't had it for very long now, but it already holds a lot of meaning to me. Here it is!:

It is made of my favorite wood: Tiger maple! It is beautiful.

Look at the grain! so wavy! and it is shiny. After a few more coats of oil it can go out into the living room and I will feel more at ease. Best thing? Josh will be spending the weekend here!!! that is the best part... it is the perk that he will be applying this oil so I don't somehow screw it up. I am very protective of my gift.

Ok, moving past Christmas. New Years was chill enough. We spent time with Allie and her bf, Austin and went to Lauren's place in Hamilton to bring in the New Year with some of our friends. It was nice to see Fei and Seth, and Jocelyn! Certainly better than last year, which was a disaster, but I would rather not think about it again.

So, now I am back in Columbus. I am trying to be financially self-sufficient and I see that it will not be easy. I'm working a lot, working on culminating which is consuming my life. SAS is such a pain, and it is so difficult to program mostly because it is hard to really sort out an appropriate way to sort and analyze the data because there are so many variables and conditions to consider to try and answer the research question. I will not delve into that here because if everybody attempts to read it, they will probably want to pass out too.

Thankfully, my adviser is going to stick around in May/June to help me with the final stages of my culminating and be there for my defense. Otherwise, I'd be presenting at my defense with her on video-chat on Skype, haha. Either way, in March/April we will be working on my culminating with our meetings through Skype. Pretty cool, eh?

I've been applying to jobs like crazy. I applied to 17 yesterday. I have 4 more that I have printed out that I will apply to today. I am trying not to rush myself and really spend some time carefully writing my resumés and cover letters. I'm just so anxious about this whole process. There are like.... no Epi jobs in Ohio...none that I am qualified for yet. The ones I am qualified for... the closest one is Marshfield, Wisconsin. That is North of Lacrosse. That is... northern Wisconsin. Oh boy. But, I'm trying not to concern myself too much with this because... well, applying to a job is free so apart from time/energy I am not losing anything in applying to absolutely everything...everywhere. I will figure it out in like May or so ... after I have hopefully received interviews, etc. I don't want to be too far away. This is something I need to seriously address. If I have to be far away it better pay enough and be flexible enough that I could come back to Ohio like once a month for a few days. I don't think I can handle that far a distance very well (in a place, all alone!) from Josh and my brother. My brother is growing up quickly and I don't want to miss out. Josh means the world to me and I couldn't bear to be away so far while we are both too busy.

But, for now, I will try to focus on the present because... heck, there is way too much going on for me to spend worrying about things I cannot control. It's time to go into over-drive to multi-task my life.

School.

Work.

Thesis.

Future.

Life.

Time to get back to work, I'm feeling a little more energetic now.