One week 'til Senior Year.

Yep.

Last night was Laura's 22nd Birthday Celebration. Overall? enjoyable, and most definitely interesting. Some parts were not particularly enjoyable but it happens.

Although, nothing surprised me.

I do enjoy dancing though, but this wasn't the most fun dancing experience and it wasn't very full or as lively as usual. But, that is OK.

At least I did get to go out last night because my mom said she'd take my dad and them to the airport this morning. I watched Luke for a bit (we watched Happy Feet). I've had my fill of liveliness for now and I don't really care for more right now. I at least sorta had fun. Now, I don't care to be particularly social today.

Maybe I'm just a little frustrated. Actually, I probably am. Though, I don't feel like I should be.

Sometimes I wonder about people in general, not necessarily specific people...but just in general. The way we portray ourselves and our motivations to do so. I mean there's a way we view ourselves, the way we actually are, and the way we present ourselves...such as a front. Sometimes it is hard to tell how people really feel about one another or whether or not they are trying to send a message somehow. Sometimes I just want to know what's real but at the same time does it even matter? After all, maybe it's how things make us feel that matter as opposed to reality, but even that may just be perceived and what is true reality anyway? Besides, it has been said that ignorance is a bliss. If that's the case, should we try? I still think so.

I sort of wonder why people feel the negative feelings such as envy, frustration, jealousy, anger, etc. Is it because they care or because they don't care enough? I suppose this is subject to circumstances. even then, I feel like my mind just goes in circles.

Hm, I am perfectly aware that this is very vague but there are too many things that could potentially apply to the same concept that I really don't want to bother nor should I. This is for me to think about. Just for me to think about what I'm doing and why.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is playing in the background and I am going to be productive soon. This is a great movie, or at least in my own personal opinion.

I really want to see The Time Traveler's Wife. The Critics didn't say the best things but it still looks like a cute and potentially meaningful movie.

P.S.
At the end of the day life is good. No matter how much I fret and stress...So far anyway. It's too easy to get caught up in the busy nature of life...but maybe it doesn't need to be busy, or at least feel so. I studied for a tiny bit...then had a dance party with Luke...and now teaching him more numbers. I wish life was always this simple. Reminder to self: just breathe. stop worrying. Just live it.

Lots scheduled for the next week or so

Today's just one of those days where I feel blah and bland.

But, now that it's over I'm feeling pretty content even though I felt pretty crappy for a bit. I feel like I didn't get anything done all day thanks to watching Luke and my lack of motivation lately. Josh came over to watch Memphis Belle (which is a good movie) then Luke went nutso and got really annoying. It's just irritating...the fits that he throws and I feel like I'm the only one really disciplining him. That is not my job. But I do it because I don't care enough about his feelings. Not that I don't love my brother, but it gets to a point that I don't care. This family/house needs some changes. I get so tired of feeling like crap so often. I'm tired of being tired. I don't even talk at home anymore and just don't want to say anything. I am looking forward to getting out, even though I'll still be back every week now...sigh. I love Luke but OMG. chill. out.

Having Josh around made me feel a little better, though he shouldn't have to put up with all of this.

This is just a mess. I used to have pretty good relationships with my parents. That is pretty much shot for now. I don't even know where to begin to start explaining the issues. I mean they aren't the kind you find of dysfunctional families on TV and stuff...nothing THAT crazy. But, still...this is just stupid.

Oh goody...I get to go to the airport 3 times in one week. GOODY.

Sunday (recap): dad + 3 to airport...and hopefully something fun at some point.
Monday: work...hopefully pack...(Note to self: WHEN AM I EVER STUDYING?!)
Tuesday: ERC cleaning
Wednesday: Work and hopefully meet Carrie and figure out what needs to be moved
Thursday: Work. Summer Reading meeting. Probably move some stuff in.
Friday: Convocation and Discussion Leading. Get dad and them from airport...then Matt Nathanson Concert.
Saturday: Move in. Airport to get strangers as a favor to my mom's friend. Great. I'm supposedly getting paid for this...at least I get paid for ONE of my airport trips... saturday night=Brit and Jenni's birthday party/camp out thing...
Sunday: school shopping

I want to figure out when I'm getting stuff done that I want to get done. i want motivation. I want to care.

Girls and the new Premium Outlet Mall

I worked for like 2-3 hours this morning (and close enough to my allowed 20 hour work week). Things worked out so well today. First, I forgot my lunch so ... I wouldn't have been able to eat at work anyway. Then, Josh said he wanted to get a hair cut and that reminded me about how I want to get my hair trimmed very badly so I called Attitudes for a noon appointment (at 11:30am, hah) and they said they had an opening. Then I asked for Angeline...and it's funny because she goes, "She's the only one open and I was going to put you with her." yay! I've been going to her for years to cut my hair and it's just great that you can go to someone and they 1) already know what you want, 2) know what your hair is like and what has been done to it, 3) know things about you and can converse with you well. She is very talented.

Alright, after my haircut I grabbed food at Subway and timing was wonderful because then Lauren got into Oxford. Then we began our adventure towards the Premium Outlet Mall in Monroe. We didn't get lost but we did miss an exit. The people we talked to at a gas station had no idea where it was and I called Jocelyn's mother who was very helpful. We definitely did some extra driving, hah.

The Outlet Mall itself is rather nice. Very open, a lot of outdoor walking, and definitely Premium and Upscale. I really liked it even though there wasn't as much in the stores as I had hoped for. I have been to nicer outlet malls but maybe it is because this one is so new (1 week old from today). All the stores smelled very new! I only found two things that I liked enough to buy and I'm very excited about the print shirt. It's pretty fun and it's got zebras on it! Hm...and I've discovered my new favorite scent! Burberry The Beat. I didn't feel like putting down the money for it right now. Maybe as a present I can get it hehe. It really does smell very nice. I think I may like it more than Dolce and Gabana's Light Blue. Maybe. They're both pretty close although I feel that the The Beat is more practical and sophisticated.



Perfumania has awesome deals. The price is comparable with both though. Oh, and at Saks there were these amazing gloves that felt so lovely. And there was a really cute Burberry scarf but I don't need to spend more right now and should not. I will tell myself to be more practical but it's fun to look around! Note to self: get rich and go shopping? haha. Anyway...it was a fun time...certainly plan on going back! Oh, and bumped into one of my former classmates from that Global Health Care Systems class. That was a pleasant surprise. Lauren thought he was cute, lol.

Oh, Greek Stromboli at the mall is amazing. I love Greek food!

We had some minor trouble getting back to Hamilton but nothing like going there. We only drove an extra like 5 minutes so no biggie.

Once we got to Hamilton we went to Showplace 8 to watch Julie and Julia. We both loved the movie. It is so sweet and meaningful. I want to be inspired like that, something to instill that much passion in me to drive me towards doing something I truly enjoy that makes me feel like I have a purpose. We'll see.

It's been a great day spent with Lauren! totally a girls day and night out...totally chill and fun :). I hope to see more of her soon! it was just nice to get away from everything and I was so relaxed today. I'm looking forward to a day off tomorrow...even though I have a decent length of a list of things to do...it'll be nice to get more sleep. Hopefully it will turn out to be a pleasant Friday. So far, it has potential to be just that. If Luke behaves, the day will be wonderful. I think Josh is bringing Memphis Belle to watch with him. That'll be fun.

Life feels good right now and I'm content :).

Meteor shower

It's been a good day. Well, at least Wednesday was.

Work was alright. We went out to Acton to do benthic invertebrate sampling but it didn't seem to work that well so it was a very short trip. Then we played with Anne's kitten (detour) and then we made our way back to the lab. Nothing particularly interesting happened in the lab apart from watching Confessions of a Shopaholic and Homeward Bound as we counted our samples. I worked a full day today, the way I used to work last summer. Last summer I worked 40 hour weeks...now I work 20. Today I worked ~8 hours. Heh. It felt productive even though it fried my brain a bit from all that staring. Afterwards, I made my way uptown and got a strawberry and creme frappucino which was delicious! Then, at Juniper I just chit-chatted with Chelsie and bought a brush set and a present for Laura's birthday. both were very good buys...especially the brush set because Chelsie was kind enough to let me in on how they had mispriced those and were then selling them for like a quarter of the price practically. It is amazing...and useful!

Dinner at Rohan with Josh was very yummy of course...lamb is exciting. Actually, meat is exciting in general. I went food crazy half of Wednesday. Snacks throughout the day as I worked...always hungry...wanting to eat more and more. I tell ya, having had my wisdom teeth taken out made me miss food A LOT. I hope I do not ever get fat. Josh said not to say that I will NEVER be fat. I really highly doubt I will be and I generally have a lot of willpower and care a lot about how I present myself so...I guess it is more appropriate to say that I have a very slim chance of getting fat. Although he made a good point of how even though nobody in my family history is fat (apart from those married in MAYBE) they never lived in the United States. Food here is very different (definitely agree) and I eat a lot. Then again, my daddy eats a lot and he's fine. Although my mommy has gained weight, it's mostly due to the timing of Luke's birth. I think I've got the gene pool on my side for this one....suuuure hooope sooo... It'll be good to continue being active though. This is why I should get a doggie when I am fully independent and older because it will keep me active...or that's what I would think. Maybe if I get a clearance puppy like from Marley and Me I will be running around all over the place.

Hung out, and then went to see the Perseids meteor shower and star gaze at Hueston Woods. There was this really annoying boat that would periodically flash its lights around...that was a little distracting. Otherwise, the meteors were beautiful and we managed to use children constellation books to identify a couple stars and constellations. That was pretty fun. Tonight definitely made up for the total fail of seeing Perseids last summer. That was a Total Fail and the circumstances most certainly ticked me off...but I don't want to get into that right now...I doubt I'll forget.

Apart from occassional moments of feeling sorta quiet, it has been a very good day/night. I should sleep soon...I work for a couple hours and then I'm off to the Outlet mall with Lauren! Should be a fun bonding day <3 as it has been forever <3.

Sigh. Goodnight!

EDIT:
The Perseid meteor shower is so named because meteors appear to fall from a point in the constellation Perseus.

Good to know.

A Little Crazy?

Sometimes I'm convinced I'm a little crazy. This is why when I am, I should not talk to people. haha.

At least I feel pretty good today. Work went alright and I was very excited to have Sara back in the lab. It was a fun work day for the most part (the non-counting aspects). Watched/listened to Spirit (actually a decent recent animated Disney film) and learned about dolphin reproduction and nursing haha. I'm not really sure why but I definitely learned a lot about it.

1) they can mate every day of the year even though they are not always fertile.
2) we learned how they mate
3) how dolphins are born
4) dolphins nurse babies for about 2 years and sometimes up to 7 years
5) we learned how they nurse (which is actually really weird. look it up if you are curious).

Also, lunch was wonderful. I had meat. Right before lunch I realized I literally have not had meat in like 2 weeks (excluding the fish I had over the weekend). It's really strange, but right after I ate my sandwich I felt wonderful. My eating has been so inconsistant for the past two weeks and I've also felt pretty crazy. Then I remembered I hadn't eaten dinner yesterday...it totally slipped my mind and I got so distracted. I really should watch myself. My metabolism is too fast to be able to do that and feel normal.

Thinking about how I've been acting lately, I feel crazy...but distracting myself and keeping myself occupied has helped so far.

I've made plans to hang out with Lauren all of thursday which is exciting. Allie may come along too I think. Hm.

and now...I'm watching He's just not that into you. I love this movie and I find the women to be crazy. Somehow watching this movie usually brings me back to earth and calms me down in a strange way. yay. Seems like a lot of women overanalyze situations and just go loopy.

I hope this good mood lasts throughout the rest of the day and evening.

Hopefully my craziness doesn't affect people too much.

A weekend of fun transitions into bad moods.

hocking hills was wonderful :)that's all there is to it. I'm mildly disappointed that I didn't get to see Kait but I know it won't be too long before I do again. Besides, I talk to her relatively frequently <3.

now I'm just annoyed.

Laura's bday party thing is coming up and I can't even be there for anything fun because I have to wake up the next morning at 6am to take my dad and 3 other people to the airport. GREAT. another birthday party I can't really partake in...within 3 weeks.

beyond that, I am also annoyed for other reasons. Some people are incredibly illogical and even though I am normally very patient and tolerant...i can only take so much. I'm tired.

But, at least I'm productive. I ended up at Acton for work (unexpected) which was OK. Now I've been doing laundry...washed and in process of drying mine and folding the family's laundry. They've been super busy lately and I figure I might as well. Then I need to work on the list of things I've given myself to do for the rest of the evening. Oh Goody.

This will keep my mind off of things that are annoying me I hope.

August

Trophy wife? <<< HAHAHAHAHA. UGH.

Life is good right now.

My mouth feels significantly better than it did when I first got my teeth out...I finally ate mac n cheese today.

I registered for the GRE (for late september)

I remembered that I do have SOME life skills. If necessary, I could be a secretary with my mad typing and organizational skills (and some experience).

The outlet mall in cincy is opening tomorrow and Allie and I plan to go to it in about a week or so (YAY!!!).

Camping trip for the weekend.

My tv worked this morning so it does not totally hate me.

I've accepted the cluttered nature of my room because I'll be going back to school with it soon.

MATT NATHANSON is coming to Miami the friday before school starts, YAY!!!!! I hope he plays some of the favs.

I feel remotely motivated to be productive.

the other things that may be negative? ah, don't wanna think about it right now.

Let's just hope this continues.