OhEmmGee
Happy.Overwhelmed.Nostalgic already.
I never thought so much of me would change over the years but I am happy about these changes. I never thought I'd go "oh, whatever" over a D on an exam or something...but it has happened. haha. I do not know the results to two of my finals but I think SOC was at least OK. That and I am happy he really liked my term paper. I didn't think I'd do That well on it! I did work pretty hard on it. If I had been a tad more organized I could've gotten a 100% on it maybe. I am just happy he liked it.
What am I going to do with myself? I found out I can probably move out Sunday because I am graduating so that makes moving less stressful...little by little, right?
If I can move out Sunday...
Thursday: Move some in the morning w/ Jennie, lunch, Best Buy w/ Jennie to get her a camera?, phone interview, move some more stuff with Dad, visit home and play with Luke...
Friday: move some more stuff, chill, RED BRICK RALLY, hang out, sleep...
Saturday: main graduation w/ Jennie, home to hang out, then College of A&S graduation (7pm). I am hoping Jennie's fam and my fam can go together. Besides, they have mutual friends but just haven't met each other, lol.
i am happy and sad.
These have been some amazing years and I am very satisfied with my college experience. I have come out a better person I think. I love it here.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Thorough Day
Woke up at 9/10am...showered, had lunch with Jennifer and Jennie...then went to College Suites with Jennie to lay out. I studied while I was there AND registered for OSU courses. Though, according to Stephanie's bf, Kyle, I may have registered for too many classes. So I will probably drop one though I am also trying to find research opportunities at OSU so I e-mailed some professor who may be in charge of stuff or something. I hope I get something! Although having to do it around my schedule will be a tad of a hassle. I am hoping I do not have to have classes or work on Fridays because that'd give me a 3 day weekend to come home more often or to get stuff done! But, so far things are looking good there and I am know people who are familiar with the area.
Dinner was good with Steph, Carly, and Josh. Then Josh and I took a walk and I had him take Ali's old carpet out of my room so he can use it somehow. I don't care for it and if I do get a carpet I want a pretty/bright one.
Which reminds me, I need a job, but I don't want one that takes up so much time that I have no summer at all.
Also, there is a concert at BoMA I want to go to. Practically on my birthday. DJ Paul Van Dyk. Sounds fun, right? yeaaa...and Benny Benassi is in June I think. Either way Jennie will still be around (she's going to China).
So much to do!...time to take my next/last final! afterwards? who knows...
Dinner was good with Steph, Carly, and Josh. Then Josh and I took a walk and I had him take Ali's old carpet out of my room so he can use it somehow. I don't care for it and if I do get a carpet I want a pretty/bright one.
Which reminds me, I need a job, but I don't want one that takes up so much time that I have no summer at all.
Also, there is a concert at BoMA I want to go to. Practically on my birthday. DJ Paul Van Dyk. Sounds fun, right? yeaaa...and Benny Benassi is in June I think. Either way Jennie will still be around (she's going to China).
So much to do!...time to take my next/last final! afterwards? who knows...
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
ONE left!
So I am pretty relieved right now. It turns out Biochem did not turn out horribly and that I did really well on the Final. If only I had done well on like two of my other exams I'd have done really well in the class but as it is I am content with the results because I historically do horribly on Finals so I did not expect much.. It's sort of strange because I didn't study that much for the Biochem exam because I kept on getting distracted...hah.
The exam today was pretty awful. Jennie and I both agree that it probably kicked our butts because we came out with horrendous headaches. It was so long and for most of it there is no way to check answers because they were that confusing and there were just that many to remember. Oh well... haha, when the class heard there were 75 multiple choice questions, 30 being T/F ...ughh...Then she asked how many of us were seniors...just about all of us. And then a girl in the back goes, "Can you at least pass us?" The exam...yeah, please let it go alright...
Afterwards, I went back to my room to try to get my Patterns of Development book to sell back...but they're going to use the new edition next year so they offered $10...I didn't want to take it but I may have to go back and accept it because even online they would give LESS than that. Dang. That and they're using a new edition for Biochem...More money down the drain from this semester. And for SOC? they're not even using a book next semester so I have to sell that one online which is sort of annoying... With Amazon I can sell it for like 70 something but end up with Amazon credit while if I sell it to Barnes and Nobles I get 50 something as a check. It really depends if there is something from Amazon that I want or something...
it's been a good day for the most part and I'm going to try to continue having a good day even though I should study for my exam that is tomorrow...
I had a really good time at dinner with my roomie. Um, I am probably going to move almost all my stuff Thursday after my phone interview (I might have a job for the summer?)...and then move the rest on Friday...although Friday is supposed to storm. Either way, I'll be home Friday night...actually, it'd be more accurate to say I'll be UPTOWN Friday night for Red Brick Rally and it is going to be crazy fun I am sure. Saturday night is graduation. 7:15pm is when it officially starts but I'll be there at like 6:30p. Hm.
Probably watching Surrogates with Josh tonight. It's overdue so better watch it so I don't have it overdue AGAIN and practically just buy the movies.
I NEED TO MAKE MYSELF STUDY.
The exam today was pretty awful. Jennie and I both agree that it probably kicked our butts because we came out with horrendous headaches. It was so long and for most of it there is no way to check answers because they were that confusing and there were just that many to remember. Oh well... haha, when the class heard there were 75 multiple choice questions, 30 being T/F ...ughh...Then she asked how many of us were seniors...just about all of us. And then a girl in the back goes, "Can you at least pass us?" The exam...yeah, please let it go alright...
Afterwards, I went back to my room to try to get my Patterns of Development book to sell back...but they're going to use the new edition next year so they offered $10...I didn't want to take it but I may have to go back and accept it because even online they would give LESS than that. Dang. That and they're using a new edition for Biochem...More money down the drain from this semester. And for SOC? they're not even using a book next semester so I have to sell that one online which is sort of annoying... With Amazon I can sell it for like 70 something but end up with Amazon credit while if I sell it to Barnes and Nobles I get 50 something as a check. It really depends if there is something from Amazon that I want or something...
it's been a good day for the most part and I'm going to try to continue having a good day even though I should study for my exam that is tomorrow...
I had a really good time at dinner with my roomie. Um, I am probably going to move almost all my stuff Thursday after my phone interview (I might have a job for the summer?)...and then move the rest on Friday...although Friday is supposed to storm. Either way, I'll be home Friday night...actually, it'd be more accurate to say I'll be UPTOWN Friday night for Red Brick Rally and it is going to be crazy fun I am sure. Saturday night is graduation. 7:15pm is when it officially starts but I'll be there at like 6:30p. Hm.
Probably watching Surrogates with Josh tonight. It's overdue so better watch it so I don't have it overdue AGAIN and practically just buy the movies.
I NEED TO MAKE MYSELF STUDY.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Feeling much better, Thanks Stephanie.
I was so anxious earlier because I had nowhere to channel it and I really don't like myself when i channel anxiety unintentionally towards people. I should just carry my notes to study with me in case this happens during Finals week. Yeah...There is just so much going on.
I went over to Stephanie's to return her Bengay stuff (for my knees) and we just began talking about school and future. I feel like school has gotten a lot harder to keep up with, especially compared to first semester of freshman year. That year I was just so energetic and into what I was doing, and studying was not difficult at all. I had little problem concentrating and doing well...but it's been up and down but slowly declining since then. I've learned things but I feel like it is harder to focus. But, I also have more things to think about now and more opportunities to just freak out whereas before, I was totally dependent and didn't really have to think about anything else but doing well in school. Now, I also want to do well with my life and life is complicated which sort of carries over. I know I can make it simpler and just adjust to it better but sometimes when I'm overwhelmed by an accumulation of things it gets hard. Pressures whether they be real or superficial, are there. We were talking about some of the super smart people we know who do awesome in school but as far as other parts of their life, they're sorta crazy/strange (I am aware that I can be crazy myself). I admire them but at the same time I like having learned so much about life, I know I could learn a lot more and probably should, but I am trying hard to be aware of them.
I don't deal with anxiety as well as I used to...getting a little worn out from it.
I may not know exactly what I want to do with my future but I know what type of things I like and that is part of the reason why I am continuing my education. Not just pursuing a specific goal but to learn what I can do and to just learn...beyond what I can research about the field myself...
It helps to know I am not the only one who feels this way. I am thankful for the good friends I have made here during my time at Miami. I will be forever grateful because it keeps me grounded and I want people around me who can help me be a better version of myself and vice versa. It is a good feeling. This makes my evening a little better and a little less stressful.
Maybe studying will be easier now, and if not, I know life isn't over because of it.
P.S. Found 10$ today on the way to Biochem Final. If only the Final was as good as the money.
I went over to Stephanie's to return her Bengay stuff (for my knees) and we just began talking about school and future. I feel like school has gotten a lot harder to keep up with, especially compared to first semester of freshman year. That year I was just so energetic and into what I was doing, and studying was not difficult at all. I had little problem concentrating and doing well...but it's been up and down but slowly declining since then. I've learned things but I feel like it is harder to focus. But, I also have more things to think about now and more opportunities to just freak out whereas before, I was totally dependent and didn't really have to think about anything else but doing well in school. Now, I also want to do well with my life and life is complicated which sort of carries over. I know I can make it simpler and just adjust to it better but sometimes when I'm overwhelmed by an accumulation of things it gets hard. Pressures whether they be real or superficial, are there. We were talking about some of the super smart people we know who do awesome in school but as far as other parts of their life, they're sorta crazy/strange (I am aware that I can be crazy myself). I admire them but at the same time I like having learned so much about life, I know I could learn a lot more and probably should, but I am trying hard to be aware of them.
I don't deal with anxiety as well as I used to...getting a little worn out from it.
I may not know exactly what I want to do with my future but I know what type of things I like and that is part of the reason why I am continuing my education. Not just pursuing a specific goal but to learn what I can do and to just learn...beyond what I can research about the field myself...
It helps to know I am not the only one who feels this way. I am thankful for the good friends I have made here during my time at Miami. I will be forever grateful because it keeps me grounded and I want people around me who can help me be a better version of myself and vice versa. It is a good feeling. This makes my evening a little better and a little less stressful.
Maybe studying will be easier now, and if not, I know life isn't over because of it.
P.S. Found 10$ today on the way to Biochem Final. If only the Final was as good as the money.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
3 days
Until finals are over.
I am trying really hard not to stress too much. My knees are a little better today, I am going to give it a break though to make sure it is better.
I wish I had done well enough on the previous exams that I don't even have to do anything...but no.
OMG. Can it be Wednesday at like 9pm? Then I'll be done with finals so I can clean/pack. Brings me closer to fun. But, also brings me closer to reality. Hey, it's the journey. Guess, I should try to enjoy the ride :)
I have : Nothin' on you -- B.o.B. stuck in my head
"beautiful girls all over the world, i could be chasing but my time would be wastin cus they got nothing on you baby, nothing on you baby"
I am trying really hard not to stress too much. My knees are a little better today, I am going to give it a break though to make sure it is better.
I wish I had done well enough on the previous exams that I don't even have to do anything...but no.
OMG. Can it be Wednesday at like 9pm? Then I'll be done with finals so I can clean/pack. Brings me closer to fun. But, also brings me closer to reality. Hey, it's the journey. Guess, I should try to enjoy the ride :)
I have : Nothin' on you -- B.o.B. stuck in my head
"beautiful girls all over the world, i could be chasing but my time would be wastin cus they got nothing on you baby, nothing on you baby"
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Last weekend as an undergrad
Freaking me out a little bit.
Yesterday was fun. The grill out was a bit of a surprise with so many people but food and hot tub was fun. I was really, really tired though. And just a little anxious. It was good to be around friends though.
I really suck at pool...and fooseball by the way. Not that I didn't know that...maybe I should play more than like 4 times in my life...
I did not plan on going uptown but I am glad I was persuaded to because it was fun and worth it. It was a little bit tedious waiting for the others to get to Mac n Joes but that was worth it. Fun new people. The Long Island was too sour but Jennie and I liked it, we love sour drinks. The Jagermeister tastes like chinese medicine...But hey, got a free thong out of it. Hah. Then we went to 45 (of course) and that was fun. Jennie's friend bought even more rounds of shots... Bumped into like everybody. Afterwards we were just pretty much a mess. The girls anyway. Just tears.
I am very thankful Josh made me go out last night and was so nice. I've been so tense and anxious lately, just freaking out about everything that I really needed last night. I am so glad I got to see everybody and that we are all feeling the same things because I feel a lot less alone now. It still sorta sucks but at least I don't feel lonely about it.
I am really going to miss these people. Natalie was there from the beginning and to think that four years have gone by is just overwhelming. It's just about over. Finals does not count because I do not remotely enjoy those. They freak me out right now. With Jennie? I understand why she's upset but we were also upset about the same things. To think that it took this long to find friends that truly understand and that you are on the same wavelength with is difficult...and it took this long to find that and now we all have to be separated. It is not easy to find friends that do not take you for granted and truly appreciate the friendship. Friends that you admire who are always there. Friends that you really enjoy being around who are energetic, fun, and sometimes just crazy. I can be myself. Time goes by too fast.
I am so happy the people I love are doing so well though. Jennie has met an amazing guy who understands so well and knows just how to take care of her. She is also amazingly smart and hard working and I know she will go far in life. I admire her for this. Jocelyn has opened up so much more and her amazing personality is getting noticed more. Stephanie is so smart and energetic and will go on to do great things and Kyle is so good to her. Edwina is brilliant and is going to one of the best schools in the world. Natalie is engaged to a wonderful man who will never fail to provide and be supportive. My roommate, Ashley, is becoming more outgoing and confident with herself and works so hard! she will do great things too. People have gotten into great schools, have bright futures, and are moving forward. Josh has a lot going for him now too. He is smart and I admire how much passion he has for what he knows and just seems to understand things so thoroughly. People love him and that people skills is so important in life. He is making so many new friends and developing himself in so many positive ways. It is pretty cool to watch, really. It is amazing to watch everybody grow to become such wonderful people and to think that it never changes. I am excited to see how everybody turns out and am looking forward to keeping in touch. Thank goodness for technology.
My left knee hurts from yesterday in general...so do my feet from getting stomped on by heels so many times. ouch. Worth it though. Totally worth it. Maybe this is what an old person feels like. It is a very strange feeling, normally I'm not sore/achey and stuff and can just run around as much as I want without getting tired or pooped out too much. Ugh.
I am glad this doesn't happen much because then I wouldn't like to be active. I am much happier when I get to run around...even if it's goin to the rec by myself.
I don't know how I am goin to make myself study hard. Especially since it feels so daunting...that and I don't know how I am going to get my room all packed up. I have no idea. Maybe I'll just wait til after my wednesday final to do all that...after finals I can focus on packing and going out...
Friday night? is going to be awesome. Red Brick Rally. Last hurrah. It's going to be crazy.
At least my alcohol tolerance has gotten much better the past few weeks. I haven't gotten sick recently. Shots treat me a lot better. Weird. I'm tired but I feel good physically, just a little shaky emotionally.
I don't want it to end yet. I got a text saying that I have a bright future. I really hope so. I have enough going for me now and I am looking forward to the future, but that doesn't mean I'm not a little scared about growing up. But, I suppose growing up is good as long as I am not growing up alone.
Yesterday was fun. The grill out was a bit of a surprise with so many people but food and hot tub was fun. I was really, really tired though. And just a little anxious. It was good to be around friends though.
I really suck at pool...and fooseball by the way. Not that I didn't know that...maybe I should play more than like 4 times in my life...
I did not plan on going uptown but I am glad I was persuaded to because it was fun and worth it. It was a little bit tedious waiting for the others to get to Mac n Joes but that was worth it. Fun new people. The Long Island was too sour but Jennie and I liked it, we love sour drinks. The Jagermeister tastes like chinese medicine...But hey, got a free thong out of it. Hah. Then we went to 45 (of course) and that was fun. Jennie's friend bought even more rounds of shots... Bumped into like everybody. Afterwards we were just pretty much a mess. The girls anyway. Just tears.
I am very thankful Josh made me go out last night and was so nice. I've been so tense and anxious lately, just freaking out about everything that I really needed last night. I am so glad I got to see everybody and that we are all feeling the same things because I feel a lot less alone now. It still sorta sucks but at least I don't feel lonely about it.
I am really going to miss these people. Natalie was there from the beginning and to think that four years have gone by is just overwhelming. It's just about over. Finals does not count because I do not remotely enjoy those. They freak me out right now. With Jennie? I understand why she's upset but we were also upset about the same things. To think that it took this long to find friends that truly understand and that you are on the same wavelength with is difficult...and it took this long to find that and now we all have to be separated. It is not easy to find friends that do not take you for granted and truly appreciate the friendship. Friends that you admire who are always there. Friends that you really enjoy being around who are energetic, fun, and sometimes just crazy. I can be myself. Time goes by too fast.
I am so happy the people I love are doing so well though. Jennie has met an amazing guy who understands so well and knows just how to take care of her. She is also amazingly smart and hard working and I know she will go far in life. I admire her for this. Jocelyn has opened up so much more and her amazing personality is getting noticed more. Stephanie is so smart and energetic and will go on to do great things and Kyle is so good to her. Edwina is brilliant and is going to one of the best schools in the world. Natalie is engaged to a wonderful man who will never fail to provide and be supportive. My roommate, Ashley, is becoming more outgoing and confident with herself and works so hard! she will do great things too. People have gotten into great schools, have bright futures, and are moving forward. Josh has a lot going for him now too. He is smart and I admire how much passion he has for what he knows and just seems to understand things so thoroughly. People love him and that people skills is so important in life. He is making so many new friends and developing himself in so many positive ways. It is pretty cool to watch, really. It is amazing to watch everybody grow to become such wonderful people and to think that it never changes. I am excited to see how everybody turns out and am looking forward to keeping in touch. Thank goodness for technology.
My left knee hurts from yesterday in general...so do my feet from getting stomped on by heels so many times. ouch. Worth it though. Totally worth it. Maybe this is what an old person feels like. It is a very strange feeling, normally I'm not sore/achey and stuff and can just run around as much as I want without getting tired or pooped out too much. Ugh.
I am glad this doesn't happen much because then I wouldn't like to be active. I am much happier when I get to run around...even if it's goin to the rec by myself.
I don't know how I am goin to make myself study hard. Especially since it feels so daunting...that and I don't know how I am going to get my room all packed up. I have no idea. Maybe I'll just wait til after my wednesday final to do all that...after finals I can focus on packing and going out...
Friday night? is going to be awesome. Red Brick Rally. Last hurrah. It's going to be crazy.
At least my alcohol tolerance has gotten much better the past few weeks. I haven't gotten sick recently. Shots treat me a lot better. Weird. I'm tired but I feel good physically, just a little shaky emotionally.
I don't want it to end yet. I got a text saying that I have a bright future. I really hope so. I have enough going for me now and I am looking forward to the future, but that doesn't mean I'm not a little scared about growing up. But, I suppose growing up is good as long as I am not growing up alone.
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