Feeling much better, Thanks Stephanie.

I was so anxious earlier because I had nowhere to channel it and I really don't like myself when i channel anxiety unintentionally towards people. I should just carry my notes to study with me in case this happens during Finals week. Yeah...There is just so much going on.

I went over to Stephanie's to return her Bengay stuff (for my knees) and we just began talking about school and future. I feel like school has gotten a lot harder to keep up with, especially compared to first semester of freshman year. That year I was just so energetic and into what I was doing, and studying was not difficult at all. I had little problem concentrating and doing well...but it's been up and down but slowly declining since then. I've learned things but I feel like it is harder to focus. But, I also have more things to think about now and more opportunities to just freak out whereas before, I was totally dependent and didn't really have to think about anything else but doing well in school. Now, I also want to do well with my life and life is complicated which sort of carries over. I know I can make it simpler and just adjust to it better but sometimes when I'm overwhelmed by an accumulation of things it gets hard. Pressures whether they be real or superficial, are there. We were talking about some of the super smart people we know who do awesome in school but as far as other parts of their life, they're sorta crazy/strange (I am aware that I can be crazy myself). I admire them but at the same time I like having learned so much about life, I know I could learn a lot more and probably should, but I am trying hard to be aware of them.

I don't deal with anxiety as well as I used to...getting a little worn out from it.

I may not know exactly what I want to do with my future but I know what type of things I like and that is part of the reason why I am continuing my education. Not just pursuing a specific goal but to learn what I can do and to just learn...beyond what I can research about the field myself...

It helps to know I am not the only one who feels this way. I am thankful for the good friends I have made here during my time at Miami. I will be forever grateful because it keeps me grounded and I want people around me who can help me be a better version of myself and vice versa. It is a good feeling. This makes my evening a little better and a little less stressful.

Maybe studying will be easier now, and if not, I know life isn't over because of it.

P.S. Found 10$ today on the way to Biochem Final.  If only the Final was as good as the money.