Oreo

This was a wonderful weekend. Athens is so cute and I am so glad to have gotten to spend time with Kait! and we shopped on the way back :)...but, I'm not going to continue into that right now and talk about Oreo.

I really want a black and white Papillon and name him Oreo. We played with this Papillon at Petland in Athens and I want a puppy JUST like him sooo bad. I wanted to keep him and name him Oreo. I'm looking stuff up and I really do think that this would be the perfect doggie for me once I go to grad school for these reasons:

1) They are so darn cute
2) they are little
3) they are really smart and obedient (on the top for the toy dogs category)
4) they only shed moderately
5) hearty health and generally don't have many problems
6) live a good length of time
7) really lively, affectionate, and loves people (so much fun!)
8) really good about just staying indoors and love the outdoors as well (and will enjoy hunting birds, butterflies, mice, etc.) and they are good to have in a city and in the country
9) they don't need a ton of exercise but enjoy it
10) they are pretty good with other dogs
11) and they are really good watch dogs (not guard dogs though)

I mean they have some work that needs to be done but it's about the same with any doggie and i want one! I can totally see myself with one and I think it fits my personality :)

I want my Oreo!

(Oh, and maybe get an apricot colored or brown colored dog and name it Peanut (like peanut butter) because oreo and peanut butter is so good together!)

Aw, how precious, this is what Oreo would grow up to look like!:

Note to self:

Don't think so much. CHILL OUT...and Don't be so Awkward.

weekend

love weekends. This has definitely been one of my more enjoyable weekends. Pretty low key, no drama, and a ton of fun!

Saturday: Well, I temporarily didn't have internet so I went to Lauren Spadz to save the articles I needed for my weekend homework. Then Jennie wanted to go lay out, but then we decided to go to the mall. It was a wonderful excursion! We both bought shoes at amazing prices! I love my new plaid sperry slip ons :-). (amongst other things). Then we had dinner at B-dubs, missed the showing of The proposal we had meant to watch and margaret didn't get the memo so...yeah. It's alright, she had people. Because we missed the original showing some of us went back to Jennie's to laze around outside and wait 2 hours. The movie was decent, I found many parts incredibly entertaining but it was not the best movie I've seen.

Sunday: woke up. Before I even got out of bed I did my homework in 2 hours, then Jennie and I decided to go to the pool, lay out, hang out, etc. for 3 hours. Laura joined as well and it was a ton of fun. Then we played with Luke (who has become quite taken with jennie, yay!). Um...finally got clean...then went to Josh's fam's house for venison steak and such. The highlight was the s'mores with the tortilla (honey), marshmallows, dark dove chocolate...over a fire. It was good stuff! Um...then hung out with Allie H to make brownies for her fam that is comin home tomorrow. Now home.

It has been a full weekend and I am so excited! I feel so productive! Shopping, homework, laying out and enjoying sunshine and pool, hanging out, movies, hang out with family, friends, etc. I'm pretty content right now :)

Loves!

Feeling much better

Even though this heat sucks, I'm in a much better mood today, even though very lethargic. maybe it was the very yummy lunch with the coworkers, or hilarious conversations. Topic? Incest, sex offenders, neighborhoods, and literal music videos. Immensely entertaining. The walk home with Sara was surprisingly more tolerable than expected as well. It wasn't nearly as hot as I thought it would be but it's still pretty hot and muggy. But, I am happily eating popsicles and being lazy. It'll be a chill evening. I don't feel very active right now. Like Andrew said earlier at work, "My brain is fried." It got to the point that plugging the speakers in for the computer was a much slower effort and Sara was getting frustrated I think, lol. Time to give my brain a break. Time to continue doing nothing :).

So I've been thinking

I always felt that I was a pretty secure person for the most part and that I had a pretty good self esteem. But there are times when I feel this is not the case and it makes me wonder why. A few thoughts I've come up with?:

So far, I know I am human and susceptible to vulnerability, but I always try to...I don't know if it's suppression though...Anyway, I put a lot of effort in just handling it myself and telling myself to stay up. I think I've always had a hard time accepting and reacting well to help in general, internally at least. Compliments are generally not well received. Not because I do not appreciate them but I don't really know how to respond and feel that just returning the same compliment back is pretty lame because how is the other supposed to know that you mean it genuinely or out of politeness? Maybe I should not think too deep into things. But, I really do feel like I try to look at things objectively, to rationalize my circumstances, to talk myself into understanding things a certain way--whichever way is most productive and hopefully positive. I feel like my live revolves around moving forward but sometimes I feel that makes myself move backwards. Maybe too much effort is put towards furthering book-smarts and getting a career running to the point that some other aspects of my life lag behind. It is difficult to really understand priorities at times. All these together make me feel as if maybe I'm not nearly as secure as I feel I come off as at all. Sometimes it feels like I am expected to be this way, to be strong, to not be super emotional. Sometimes it's really hard to find a happy medium. I've noticed this especially when somebody says something startling (funny, stupid, etc.) that people don't think I understand. Maybe there is lag time between my understanding and my reaction and sometimes that is interrupted to prevent the reaction to begin with. Strange.

I've always had trouble really expressing myself. Maybe I'm too concerned with what people will say or think especially if I feel they have already come to expect certain responses. I wish I was simpler (especially to myself). Whenever I watch how other people express themselves I get frustrated because I wish I knew how to do the same with as much fluidity. We talked about this sort of thing in class and even though I don't really want to analyze myself in this way (because it'll sound like I'm blaming something/somebody) but it's something to think about. How are children brought up and socialized? this affects how they interact as adults.

My brother and I are brought up similarly yet very different. When I was a child my parents had a pretty rough time. It wasn't particularly easy getting by and they were always really busy. I remember this rather well. They were always really busy and I was always around children much older than me. I started preschool early (and stayed an extra yr for that) because my parents were both working during those times and it was sorta like daycare in the Philippines. Sometimes I stayed after "school" until my parents were free with some sort of temporary guardian. I guess I always sorta felt like a mini adult in a way and yet feel like a child that can't grow up. Everything with my parents is incredibly practical. I do not discuss my emotional distress with them...just about ever. Never really have actually...it does not come naturally. They aren't really like that themselves as well. As I got older they were still pretty busy and I spent more time with peers my age. They were boys. I felt more like a child those days which was a good thing for me. Even then I still felt I could not approach my parents with things that bothered me because I always felt they were either busy or it was something I needed to do and learn myself. This may be why I insisted on learning to ride the bike myself (I snuck out to a parking lot to learn) and started out playing keyboard by myself. I have trouble being taught yet thrive on being surrounded by people (strange). It just bothers me that even though I have thoughts I am not sure as to how to express them in specific detail because I've never really understood them thoroughly myself. Sometimes I wish I was not such a careful person and could just throw it all out into the wind to let it fall where it may. yet, that's risky. And I'm not really risky. I feel sorta messed up right now, hah.

I love my parents and I look up to them. They have given me a lot of life tools and I thank them for making me so rational and practical about life. But, even so, no parent is perfect and maybe its the imperfection that makes it better because maybe that's why I feel more aware of my upbringing. I really do wish I had been more encouraged instead of feeling like I am obligated to do things. Life feels like such a responsibility and I really just want to live more of it and not to dwell on things that affect my life negatively. I am more likely to hear about ways I need to improve as opposed to good things I have already done and accomplished. I am used to having the negative things assumed of me to my face but things are getting better, and hopefully even better as time passes. I know that they feel that this is the way that is best for me but maybe it's because I do not react. My not expressing and not acting upset may just encourage this because it seems OK and appropriate. Maybe if I were to come off as much whimpier and more emotional I would get different treatment. I do not know. I've explored such possibilities and usually there is little improvement. As hard as I try there are times where I just don't feel like I'm living up to what I should be. It's difficult for me to just accept my own insecurities about myself but it does help to think about it, ya know?

Life would be much easier without expectations yet I don't know if I would really be where I am without such expectations existing. I guess this makes life interesting, trying to figure things out on the way, hoping to not slip up and have it all fall to pieces. I really do want things to change for the better, I just don't really know how to start or where to go. maybe I should not step so carefully, maybe I should be noisier. But, then another side of me tells me that am I capable of doing so? should I? have I come far enough to have enough room to allow myself this? or does that even exist? Am I responsible enough? Am I good enough? Questions that may never have answers. We'll see.

Aw

a few favvys from cuteoverload.com




http://cuteoverload.com/2008/11/18/encore-presenta-3/

Quiet

Summer.
Sometimes it's just sorta slow.
I personally have found it to be a good day! Shopping uptown with Allie was fun as was lunch with her and Josh... although I do not think Josh enjoyed himself at all while Allie and I watched Greek...I suppose it would've been good to warn him, lol. There are just some things that should be kept hushed I suppose. He does not need to hear about the silly things us girls watch.

I love Allie's dogs. They are hilarious...not the brightest bunch, but so sweet. I think Herc's my favvy, he's like this big baby. Despite the fact that he 1) licked my face (before or after he drank out the toilet?), 2) knocked me over, 3) sat on my feet a lot, etc...he's awesome.

I'm currently in the process of researching specific programs at each public health school. I haven't made it very far on the list but this is very tedious. Hm...it's just sort of confusing because there is so much out there, not enough time, and I just am generally feeling a little lost. It'll be interesting though because once Undergrad at Miami is over, I'm fully on my own. Oh, goody. I am so not ready for this and I only have less than a year to figure this out practically. Gah. This isn't going to be the most fun summer but I guess one can try to get as much out of it as possible!

Silence

Venting.

Apparently I am 1) a waste, 2) will never find a job, 3) a slacker, 4) lazy, 5) selfish, 6) useless, 7) never do anything right, 8) (insert a whole list of things I don't do that I should do), 9) do not take any sort of initiative, 10) only know how to play, 11) have no skills to find a job, 12) probably won't get into grad school, 13) my brother's welfare is of none of my concern and my participation is of no use, 14) i need to learn how to take care of myself and that what happens to me no longer matters, etc.

I said nothing during all of it. I am apparently the most unproductive person ever and that my saying "I am doing homework while I am in my room" is a lie because I'm not just that type of person that would be doing homework like that. Great. Let's add another thing to my list, that I am a liar.

Then they wonder why I don't want to come home.

Then again, it's not like they go out of their way to help with opportunities as they think. I'm sorta stuck in one place and there's only so much I can do. Gotta love parentals, especially mothers.

Back to silence.

EDIT: feeling much better now. More venting than anything else and I figure people don't mean the unpleasant things all the time. But, I can't help but think that my parents don't think I'll make it into certain schools. Oh well, I can try.

Strawberries

Yesterday was a pretty chill day. Watched as Josh fixed his car and played with the dogs. It's good that Molly's not really scared of me now, yay. Then we went to this Strawberry Festival in Shandon. I felt somewhat out of place but the fresh strawberry shortcake was delicious. There weren't as many strawberries around as I would have expected at a Strawberry festival. Also, there was this weird guy with two sugar gliders (real cute) and some strange miniature train that made non-train-like noises. And of course lewd adolescent country boys. Goody.

The fireflies are out now, not a ton, but it's still a decent number. Oh, and bats.

Hm...So I finally watched Taken last night and loved it. It's sorta scary though, not the movie itself, but the thought of how real human trafficking is. Actually, I'm watching it for the second time right now before I return this movie. That, and doing homework. Liam Neeson is pretty badass really, and the girls are sorta stupid. It is too bad Amanda never made it.

Relaxing after a day of Electroshocking!

Today's been a pretty good day for the most part. Did one sample at work (there were a ton of Daphnia! ahh...) and had some fun chitchat times with Sara and Freya (who came and unintentionally distracted us from our work). Freya's getting this really Cuuute puppy from the Trenton animal shelter, aww, I want a puppy! Actually, on the way home I was discussing this with Sara as she wants a puppy someday as well. Neither of us have ever had dogs but want one. I'm hoping to get one during grad school, but maybe two that get along well and don't need a ton of exercise so they will at least have company while I am gone to class/work and such. Well, I'm trying not to get ahead of myself here. So...

Lunch: Sara, Ann and I got bagel and deli...and it took a Lot longer than expected so when we brought it back we had like 15 minutes to eat it before we had to head out to Acton. It was rushed....but delicious!

Electroshocking: Pretty fun. I mean, I'm not a huge fan of handling fish and such but I think it went well. I had a litle bit of trouble netting the stunned fish out of the water quick enough before they drifted back down but I did learn about some fish! I've gotten better at identifying Bluegill, Crappie, Catfish (duh), Longears, Gizzard shad (!!!), Golden-something..., Saugeye (really cool hybrid of Sauger and Walleye--apparently delicious), Redhorse, etc. I had trouble with any of the fish that had spikes (apart from the bluegill)...Sigh. I'm just not a fish person I suppose. Anyway, it was a really neat experience! I did not smell nearly as much as I thought I would especially as the morning crew had done extra work thinking us afternoon people would get stormed on. Thankfully, we had beautiful (if not perfect) weather for electroshocking. Cloudy (so I can see), perfect temperature, etc. I wish I could've taken pictures (my dad wanted me to) but the work was pretty fast-paced because you had to work fast to 1) be nice to the fish, 2) try to get to them before they are conscious again, 3) net them before they sink, etc. Poor Kelley has a few battle wounds from this one ...Redhorse? I think it had spines...Anyway, it got stuck in the net and she spent like 5 minutes trying to get it out and it got her a few times. Aw. Props to her, I didn't like any spiney fish. They made me nervous. I'm such a girl. Sigh. I need more fish experienced probably.

It makes my day better that I can see well today! for a couple of days I've had dry eyes or something so I've been wearing glasses. I would not have enjoyed electroshocking with glasses at all. I mean I took my contacts out now that I've come home to give them a rest just in case they're not totally recovered but still.

Oh, and I talked with Kelley about the grad school stuff and how her experience of applying went...pretty insightful I think. I'm somewhat comforted and it's now just a matter of getting myself motivated to do things.

Sigh. I feel much more relaxed now. I pampered myself with foodscrubs, shower, face mask, etc. That Acton water made me feel gross, especially with the slimier fish and getting water splashed upon me. I would've felt more gross if Sara had accidentally smacked me with one of the huge nets (that are WAYYY bigger than me). Apparently she nearly smacked me with the pole a few times but I must've barely missed it each time without even noticing.

Now I'm not sure what I should do with myself. I don't feel particularly lively because I've gotten a good deal of exercise and I don't want to spend a lot. There's also a lot for me to think about, but for now I'm going to try to relax.

Have a good weekend, everybody!

from my mom is a fob

What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?

“Its gonna take a while to get me hard, I just got laid by some chick.”
---
My adorable grandma needed to make dinner for some very important people from the American Embassy and she couldn’t understand the English grocery labels, so she bought some canned meat, served it, and it was a hit.

Later that night, my grandpa looked in the trash and lo and behold…

…the guests had a Purina meal fit for a pup!
---
Scene: School parking lot after class ends. My mom points out a Chinese couple making out near the bathrooms.

Mom: Aiiiiiiiiiii-YAAAAAAAAAA! Can’t they do that behind bushes or suuumting? If you eveeeeeeeeeeer get boyfriend, don’t let me see do something like that!
Me: Don’t worry. I wouldn’t dare to.
Mom: Good. Because if you do, I take picture and send it to grandma. And then when grandma get heart-attack, you pay hospital bills.
---
So my mom has been really getting into Facebook (with her network of 16 friends):

Mom: Oh, look! Jim just nominated me as “The Nicest Person on Facebook”! That’s so nice of him! How do I win? Do I have to ask people to vote for me? There’s so many people on Facebook though…do I get anything if I win? Honey?

Mom: What is this? Someone “poked” me. I POKE them back! Isn’t that kind of rude?
---
Mom: YOU A FISHERMAN IN COLLEGE NOW
Me: Freshman mom.
Mom: FRESHERMAN
---
Me: (after a long day of school) I feel like crap.
Mom: Really? I feel like shrimp.
---
me: so, for my birthday… (starting to tell her plans)
mom: (interrupting) you need to really get married this year…
me: mom, i’m only 26 and i don’t want to get married right now. we’ve talked about this so many times!
mom: yeah, well, you should get married soon. you turning 27, have 3 years to find good man and get married
me: huh?!?! um, why 3 years?
mom: girls no pretty when they pass 30. no guy going to marry you when you expire
---

I had been single for quite sometime so my mom confronted me about my credit card statement.

Mom: I saw your credit card statement and one entry had “Fall Out Boy” for $80.
Me: Yeah, so?
Mom: Are you calling gay sex hotline?
Me: What is wrong with you?!!! They are tickets for a conce
---
So I decided to grow a beard. Mom saw me on Skype…

Mom: You need to shave.
Me: I’m trying to grow them out.
Mom: No, don’t do this to me. Shave them off.
Me: I think it’ll look good.
Mom: You should look like a human.
---
Mom: Hi, I’ll take the uh…the uh…you know…the Big ‘N Nasty!
Cashier: Um…we have a Big N’ Tasty?
---
My mom had just moved to the US and was looking for mattresses at a department store. This is how the conversation went between her and a salesclerk.

Mom: Do you have any sponges?
Salesclerk: No ma’am, we don’t sell sponges here.
Mom: But I see advertisement! You sell sponges!
Salesclerk: Sorry ma’am, I think you’re mistaken.
Mom: Yes, you do! You know, those big sponges you can lay on!
Salesclerk: Oh, you mean mattresses??
---
My mother followed my father along to his doctor’s appointment.

In front of the doc, she told my father, “don’t forget you need to ask for Viagra prescription.”

My father was shocked and asked, “Why?!”

“For your allergies!” she explained.

“ALLEGRA!” dad corrected.
---


(About to go on a long drive.)

Mom: Hey, you want to bring your Playboy?
Me: My what?
Mom: I mean… your boy toy.
Me: ??
Mom: You know, the game that you take with you.
(After a few minutes.)
Me: Oh! Gameboy!
---


My sister and I were playing punch buggie in the backseat of the car which
is when you punch someone when you see a VW bug.

Mom (to Dad): What are they doing? I told them no violence!
Dad: No no, it’s a game they play where you hit if you see a type of car.
Mom: Oooh I see…
[5 secs later]
Mom: Chevrolet! *hits Dad*
Me: Nooooo, mommy you don’t get to pick what kind, it’s a specific car!
Mom: Oooh okay I get it
[5 secs later]
Mom: BMW!? *hits dad*
---
Brother: Not all feminine guys are gay.
Mom: No… They probably just haven’t come out of the cabinet.
---
Mom: hey
Me (Autoreply): drowning myself in the hudson river. Ugh, school.
Mom: Just go to the passaic river. nearer
---


I was showing my mom how to use the DVD player and she took notes. I found
the notecard that she was using for the DVD player instructions some months
later:

DVD PLAY
1. press on
2. press eject key
3. put disk
4. sit down
5. press play key with remote
6. watch
---
My mom was visiting my fiance’s mother, who is caucasian-American, in Arizona and didn’t know the area.

Mom: Where is Shitty Bank?
Fiance’s Mother: [a little perplexed] Well, there are a lot of shitty banks here. Which one are you looking for?
Mom: Shitty Bank? Sheeeettty Bank? Seetty Bank?
Fiance’s Mother: Oh, you mean Citibank?
---
Email from me to parents:

I cut my hair! Here’s a picture just in case you don’t recognize me when
you see me.

Parents’ response:

Marning Hui Hui, We saw your hair cut pictures, did you gain the weight?
See you Saturday !!!

Baba, Mama
---
Me: Hi Mama, can you call me in the morning to make sure i’m awake? Love you.
Mama: Did+u+turn+ur+hw+in+on+time+anak+
Me: Yea. Do you know how to press the space button instead of the plus signs?
Mama: No+bcos+even+though+i+press+space+button+i+still+see+plus+i+dont+kno+how+to+erase+so+you+need+to+erase+the+extra+letters+after+this+txt+msqp0o5rrfsb+ja7h
Me: are you sure you know how to use text mama? press the other button, like if you are pressing pound, use the star, or try 0.
Mama: I know how to text now period i still need to learn d language use in this period
Me: Mom….try pressing 1 for the signs.
Mama: ok,.
---
hi its mom.the door is in . Learned how to jack up a house, drill
cement. Dad is still a buster….I need a new cell phone. Need Peek
email item for xmas. It’s hard to find. Maybe you can get your apple
laptop back from the porn shop. You can keep contacting the police in
PA. It’s fun being home with Dad. This is a test for Seniors.
Maybe Delicious Orchard’s has nickolost?
bye
lov mom
---
(Mom doing gardening outside)
Me: Um. Mom can I see the front of your t-shirt?
(Mom turns around)
Me: Oh my god. That says “10 Reasons Why Beer is Better than Women.” You can’t wear that outside!
Mom: It’s good for getting dirty!
---
Mom: [talking about a friend of hers] Her extra-husband came to her house for Thanksgiving dinner.
Me: Ex-husband?
Mom: No, no, extra-husband, she divorce and remarry so she have extra one.
---
I’m Taiwanese/Chinese and my wife is Caucasian. Our son David was the first grandchild on both sides of the family. Naturally my Taiwanese mother got all hepped up and bought him a million articles of clothing, including a t-shirt with a picture of a rocket and the words “Little Firecracker” on the front. The subsequent conversation went like this:

Mom: Why do they call a child who wears this shirt a firecracker?
Me: I don’t know…probably because firecrackers are small but loud and colorful, just like kids?…
Mom: Hmmm. Makes sense. (Stroking David’s hair lovingly) My little cracker…
Me: (Cracks up)
Mom: What?
Me: Uh, Mom, “cracker” is a derogatory term that non-white people call white people. Not so good, when David is half white.
Mom: Why call a white person “cracker” to insult them?
Me: I don’t know. Maybe someone thought white people are bland and boring like a saltine cracker.
Mom: But crackers are delicious!
Me: Yes, they’re good with soup, but this has nothing to do with David’s shirt.
Mom: I do not understand insulting someone by calling them a tasty food. I eat crackers all the time!
Me: Mom, this conversation has gone on, like, 5 minutes too long.
(Silence)
Mom: Well, I still like crackers.

Fobby entertainment

some favorites from "my dad is a Fob" (fresh off boat)

----
Before we had cell phones, my friend called me on a weekend where I was out of the state and my dad answered:

Dad: Hello?
Friend: Hi, May I please speak to June?
Dad: Oh! She is in Washington DC! She be back next Wednesday.
Friend: Huh? Oh, okay… have her give me a call when she’s done. *click*

Later that week when I saw her at school, she said to me in a serious tone,

“June, hi! I called you this weekend but your dad said you were washing the dishes and he said you’d be done Wednesday. I didn’t know it takes that long for your family to wash dishes.”
----
I was at a Chinese restaurant with my dad today. My chopstick skill is apparently not to my dad’s liking…

Dad: When are you going to learn how to use your chopsticks properly? I’ll teach you.

Me: What, I’m fine. I can pick food up, that’s all that matters.

Dad: It’s like I’m giving you the choice between a Yugo and a Mercedes.

Me: What’s a Yugo?

Dad: It’s a car they made a long time ago, they made a lot of them and then they’d break down because they were bad. You keep driving your Yugo, but I’m offering you a Mercedes.
----
Today, at dinner.

Dad: You know, John (the son of one of his friends) got into Harvard for grad school.
Me: Uh-huh.
Dad: John is a very nice boy. Very obedient to his parents.
Me: Okay.
Dad: It would make me very happy if you married him one day. Maybe when you are twenty-three and out of grad school.
Me: Look, Baba. First of all, I’m seventeen. Secondly, I’ve never even spoken to this John person.
Dad: He got into Harvard. What more could you ask for in a guy?
---
My father and I were on a college road trip when Beyonce’s Single Ladies came on the radio.

Dad: ALL THE SINGLE LANES! ALL THE SINGLE LANES!
Me: What?
Dad: What funny song, sing about single lanes. Look we’re on single lane!

Later that day, my dad took a wrong turn and got stuck near a government building. Two police officers came out to offer help.

Police Officer: Sir, you’re going in the wrong direction.
Dad: I WAS STUCKED!
Police Officer: Just go through those cones up ahead.
Dad: O! SANK U!
---
So my dad and I were finishing up a road trip and we were at the Canada/US border.

Customs Agent: Do you have anything to declare?
Dad: No
Customs Agent: No drugs? Alcohol? Firearms?
Dad: We bought lots of coke. BIG pack of coke.
Customs Agent: Sir?
Me: He means this (I point to the 24-pack of Coke in our back seat)
---
I forward my dad an e-mail about how having a sister is associated with greater levels of happiness. His response:

I THINK IT MAKES ALOT OF SENSE. LUCK YOU AND LUCK ME AND LUCK WE.
---
My dad texted me while I was out at dinner with friends..

Dad: U need me pick u up? Dun eat too much, U be fat. -daddy
---
Our toilet clogged up and began to spew putrid brown water.

Dad: Hah-nee, you go and call help.

An hour later, the plumber arrived. My dad answered the door.

Dad: [loudly] Ha-llo! You toilet boy?

The plumber left and didn’t come back.
---
Dad once e-mailed me a “guideline” or set of criteria that he and Mom created to help me measure against a potential boyfriend.

This is my current thinking, it is not cast in stone. The points system is the guidelines. It might change a little, but not that much.

1) Christian 50 points
2) Same or similar family background in term of social, economic and educational 5 points each
3) Health 10 points
4) Education 5 points for PhD Professional, 3 points for Master, 1 point for BA
5) Personality 10 points
6) 10 points parent’s discretion

Our Passing grade is 85 points, out of 100 points.

85 of 100 is a passing grade? That’s pretty generous, considering that 10 years ago in high school, 95% was “barely an A”.
---
A lady came to rent the upstairs apartment and my dad was curious and asked her…

Dad: Are you UFO? Because I am.
Lady: o.O?

What my dad wanted to ask was if she’s a FOB, but used the wrong acronym. In the end the lady left and never called back.
---
I had my girlfriend over for dinner and my mom was cooking Korean seafood pancakes. My dad tried to explain the main ingredient:

Dad: Uh… Big head.. Lots legs..
Me: Huh? What are you trying to tell her dad?
Dad: You know. BIG head. LOOOOOOTS legs. (Making a circle with his finger in the air, and then quickly making zig-zags to draw legs)
Me: You mean octopus?
Dad: Duh. BIG HEAD LOTS LEGS WHAT’S MATTER WITH YOU.
---
Howdy, Daughter,

Happy Birthday to you!

This is your first birthday in China since you left China in 1989. After 20 years, you have become an elegant and intelligent girl who has accomplished a lot in America and then returned to China with great honors. Your hard work and studies has pushed you to a very good position. As your parents, we are very proud of you!

You have 4 more years to get your JD/MBA. Then you will get a decent job and salary, too. After that, we wish you find a new boyfriend and then marry to him. You are smart enough to recognize who is your man to stay with for many years, hopefully for whole life.

Happy Birthday again!!!

Mom and Dad
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Dad: Hey Brian, your acceptance letter from UC Irvine came today!
Me: What really? Let me see!
Dad: HAHA No i’m joking. April Fools!!
Me: …Dad thats not funny. It’s not even April!
Dad: …MARCH MADNESS
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My dad was teaching math at Chinese School:

“So, next week I will be proving geometry prostitutes.”
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Dad: Kimson, i have to remind you EVEY time. What is your focus? You want to be pregnant, disgrace family, with 5 kid and no daddy? Your focus is always school. Bring home the A, not the baby. You stay away from boys! they just good to carry heavy “tings” for you. like textbooks. and fix things. like leaking refrigerator.
Me: WHAT?
Dad: Have you fix drip yet? Ask your mexican friend help you move a little to turn off ice maker. Anyway, i remind you that no sex until marry.
Me: whatever dad.
Dad: And for you that is maybe 30. No boy like you anyway. You need PHD. Bring home the diploma and a nice vietnamese docta. Then we will see.
Me: DAD!!!!!!! OKAYYYYYYY.
Dad: You don’t okay me. Okay for little scrub. You say yes dad. AND DON’T LET ME SEE YOU GO ONTO SECRET VICTORIA on computer! you buy that red sexxciting and boy go crazy! I don’t Like!
Me: oh my god
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So my dad was attempting to help me with my mandarin homework one day.. and we were on the subject of Idioms. The idiom was “mu bu zhuan jing”, which means a high level of concentration.

Dad: It means looking like this. (and he just stared directly straight)
Dad: look like this, but your eyeball don’t move. like this. (and then he showed us how his eyes didn’t move)
Dad: see, my pupils not moving! right?
me: you mean it’s like staring?
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My Dad (who doesn’t speak any English) and my boyfriend (Caucasian) have been attempting to chat online, with the help of some terrible translation websites. Suddenly, both of them simultaneously IM me.

Boyfriend: I’m trying to tell your dad that our friend Kelly has mice in her house and joked about borrowing our cat. I think I said it wrong…

Dad: Why is your boyfriend trying to sell me your cat?
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My dad calls me from the store and asks what I want. I respond “Chips or something crunchy and salty.”

He comes back with ‘Beggin’ Bacon Strips‘.

A popular snack.

For dogs.
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So we were on our way to a Chinese New Year party, and this was the convo we had.

Dad: I’m a B.I.P, we come early so we park in their garage.
Me and my sister: B.I.P?? You mean V.I.P?
Dad: No ! I’m B.I.P ! Berry Important Person, you know what I’m saying !
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Last year, my family went to the wedding of a family friend who was marrying into a Caucasian family.

In the car on the way up:
Dad: What’s Helen’s husband’s name?
Me: The groom? Chase.
Dad: Cheese?
Me: No, Chaaaase.
Dad: Cheeeeese?
Me: Chaaaase.
Dad: Chaaaeeees?
Me: uh… better.

Later, during the reception, the groom’s younger brother walks by our table:

Dad: What’s Chese’s brother’s name?
Me: Silas.
Dad: What? SA-LA?! What’s with this family? One son called Cheese and the other Salad!
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Dad: Should I get Blueberry Boat?
Me: A what?
Dad: Blueberry Boat. That or iPod Touch Phone?
Me: iPhone?
Dad: iPod phone.
Brother: Do you mean a BlackBerry Bold?
Dad: Blueberry Bold, you know what I meant.
Brother: BLACKBerry Bold.
Dad: Blueberry Bold. I know it’s called that, don’t think your Daddy stupid.
Brother: But it really is-
Dad: Remember what I said last time about correct me on Blueteeth?
Me: It’s BlueTOOTH-
Dad: See, I know better than you two, I won’t get trick anymore.
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Summer Lessons

1) I think too much
2) I've realized more that I am either really productive or a vegetable.
3) Stinging nettle actually stings. Stinging nettle "sap" gets rid of its own stinging
4) Mud can be really gross and I should watch out for logs. I should stop walking into logs and sticks.
5) I should not wear flip flops on a quad. Sticks hurt.
6) Don't order salty food.
7) Choya (plum wine) is very tasty. sake...eh...not so much.
8) I should be more vocal
9) I need to get work done around the house and study for GRE someday...meaning SOON.
10) I think too much (for emphasis)

a lot of things I want to plan, do, figure out, etc. The future? Sigh. I just don't know right now. I want to get into a good school, I want to get a job, I want a positive future.

Put a ring on it, Joe!

-HAHAHAAHAHAHA

Anyway....nothing particularly unusual has been goin on lately. I mean my birthday joint-party with Kait and friends was wonderful, even though it took a little while to pick up. It was wonderful. I have the best friends.

Class...eh...it's definitely interesting. Work? the same.

I am too tired to really write more right now...this was mostly for that video. And I'm doing homework. goody.