Feeling good

I've actually been studying an alright amount lately which makes me happy. Is that strange? I hope not. I don't feel bad about not cleaning my room because in less than a month its gonna be packed up! so there's another good thing. More good things?

Yesterday was awesome! I studied as I half-watched episodes of Bewitched (really good quality on youtube!) and then Josh and I went to the Olive Garden in Colerain (where he inhaled his food really fast and I ate slowly...which is the opposite of the usual arrangement) and then went to downtown cincy to watch Oklahoma!

As far as the musical is concerned...I still think I like the movie better but that may be because of the environment in the movie, where you see the corn fields, the buildings, etc. Even so, the musical was very good! I enjoyed it a lot and the cast was very young and I was impressed with their singing ability. The cowboys were a little awkward but...I can't think it'd be that easy to be a cowboy. There were a lot of details missing but it was still very enjoyable. Neither of us are big into musicals but I've always liked Oklahoma! and he seemed to enjoy it, at least more than he would most musicals. Good music too :). It makes me want to get the movie and watch it. I should make a list of movies I want to get.

Hmm...So I need to do lotsa studying today and then i get to work out at the ponds again this week (sad face)...then Wednesday we're going out for Allie's 21st! well, not the full - out going out part, but a more low-key thing because I may not be able to do much once I get my wisdom teeth out. I want to celebrate! ...yeah, i should study now.

One Month Left.

of summer! and I don't feel ready!

At least I finished reading and pretty much done preparing for the upcoming convocation! finally did that today. I just need to work hard towards the GRE and preparation...that and eventually pack for school. Goody.

Up until then there are a lot of things I want to do, and plenty planned. I feel like summer's pretty booked and I feel like I haven't seen people nearly enough this summer! but I'm over it.

saturday=Oklahoma! at the Aranoff
Sunday=???

then I get my teeth out on Friday...hopefully I'll be able to go to allie's bday dinner...then I'm gonna be sittin at home studying and watching movies for a bit...

then the weekend after that hopefully goin to Mammoth caves!

...weekend after I think is Kings Island with Kait and her friends? and taking my dad and 4 others to the airport...

...then studying and maybe taking the GRE? or at least something like that...packing and then going back to school.

I need to study a lot for the next week or so...but it's so hard to get motivated!!!

gahhhh...

hm, for now, I'm looking forward to Public Enemies tho :)

Handwriting

What my handwriting says about me:

You tend to be logical and practical. You are guarded with your emotions.

You are well-adjusted and adaptable.

You are spontaneous and relaxed and find it easy to express yourself.

You have an open mind and enjoy trying new things.

You are intellectually probing and like to study new things. The higher and pointier the peaks, the more ambitious you are.

Lull

This helps me feel a little better. A lot of things frustrating me right now, esp. the fumes at work and not being able to work much at all. Oh well. That, and the usual annoyances like not getting stuff done, certain people and such as well. But, talking to Joce was really good. Timing was wonderful and a pleasant surprise. There are some things most people I know wouldn't understand, but she gets it, and I am grateful to have her as a friend. She's so down to earth and understanding. I feel like I can tell her everything and we did share a lot today and I'm glad there are things that she knows now and that she's the type of friend that I can talk to for hours yet we can sit in silence and not feel awkward. I guess I'm thinking about it now because I really appreciate certain people at certain times. ...tired of feeling so frustrated and tired all the time. It's been quite an "emotional" day. Frustration, lots of laughter, tears for no specific reason, awkwardness, etc.

It's sorta like a steppingstone in a friendship or relationship when you get to the point that you know you can tell them anything and can tell them things nobody else really knows. I love my friends.

I do hope I feel better soon though, because I don't enjoy feeling like this. I feel like this summer is too productive and I mean there have been some really fun and enjoyable parts but I don't feel like I've gotten a legit break yet. Maybe someday. I really hope hard work pays off or I'm in for a lot of disappointment and exhaustion. But, I suppose if I don't expect much I'll enjoy more? I really hope it does not come to that. I know I am probably overreacting about how things are going in general, but sometimes that's just how it feels. Either way, I don't think I have a problem coping with stress for the most part...sorta used to dealing with my feelings on my own to figure it out. Usually it works out. I'm just tired of a lot of things right now. maybe that's my que to go to sleep.

Here's to hoping for better times.

Harry Potter (and such) craze.

(479): I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.

(423): he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.

(850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

WOW.

Bronco

so I'm generally not a fan of American cars but this is one vehicle that strikes me. maybe it's because of the song "I'd rather be with you"--Joshua Radin.

Anyway, there is one in Oxford and it is sooo neat! The first thing I thought of when I saw it was that all it needs is a surfboard on it and a beach! it looks so out of place in Oxford but I think it'd be a great car out west! I think it is pretty awesome.

smooooth

So it's been a good day overall. really slow, and chill. I finally got myself to stay in and it was well worth it. Semi cleaned my room...but it was more like shifting things around so I had a floor. There is only so much I can do when this will be going back into a dorm in like 2 months. I still haven't studied for the GRE but at least I've made progress! I read a few poems for the summer reading for incoming freshmen (leading a discussion group at convocation) and last week I made an appointment for my wisdom teeth as well as new prescription for contacts...so there's a start!

I kept on getting this call and these texts from this number and after a while they figured out it was the wrong number. Twas entertaining.

And i watched most of Tale of Despereaux with my baby brother, it was fun. He's been so good today! It was a really cute movie! I should've let him watch it from the beginning with me but I don't know if he would've sat the whole time. Actually, I think he nearly fell asleep a couple of times cus he was yawning. At least this time he didn't clamor towards my laptop and press random things. So well behaved today! it's pretty exciting.

it's such a peaceful evening :)

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Just one of those days

really. Thursday night was a BLAST and absolutely insane. No way could Friday have lived up to that. It started out pretty chill, not particularly productive...

dinner with Josh was nice but I've felt Blah most of the day and night. I tried to perk up more but sometimes it just gets to the point...of...whatever. I did not particularly enjoy the fireworks. They were pretty, but I was just grumpy. Things just are not the same anymore maybe. That and I need to clear my head. Stress is not fun. Hah, so I guess I'm just the type that if something important is coming up, it will preoccupy my mind. I really should get a handle on that bc that is like...all the time. I really need to start being productive and it's freaking me out and I can't stop thinking about it and it's taking over my life. It's just getting difficult trying to be everywhere (or at least feel that way) and feel like there is just too much to do. It is no fun being overwhelmed so easily even if it doesn't look like it but any of my friends will know that I am often overwhelmed. No matter what I do I feel like I'm not doing a sufficient job of being there for people. It's becoming too difficult to keep track of things and people and I get so frustrated. I really need to clean my room because it is really bugging me that I don't know where random stuff is. There are people I haven't seen much of and I feel like everything is slipping. I know I put a lot of pressure on myself and I really shouldn't. It makes it difficult to handle any more pressure from the outside and when I am overwhelmed I either freak out or just hold it in to try to stay calm. It's like forcing myself to act normal in the hopes to feel normal. n..yeah, that doesn't seem to work so well for me. UGH. Frustration.

I am on edge lately and it sucks. Sometimes I just want to be alone and to not think about anything. To be perfectly calm and quiet. Like that's ever going to happen. PSH. Life won't stop and I keep on trying to not be left behind but maybe I need to just stay behind and wait for the next train to come by. I love being around people but sometimes I just want to be a hermit.

But no, another aspect of my nature is trying to be accommodating. Maybe I should be less conscious of these things. It's not working out for me anyway, i feel like I'm just frustrating people anyway and that just frustrates me further. And like being overwhelmed, frustration just makes me really quiet and controlled. I am too controlled. I feel like even though I am not outwardly aggressive I feel so ... internally aggressive. I'm just not in a good mood and I really hope it gets better. Really.

Blogs are for ranting I guess.

Sleep bank

So...quick review of the past few days.

Monday=yummy dinner, kite flying, chillin.

Tuesday=work out, awesome sushi by Kenwood, and a lot of fun with the asians (plus Josh). We were going to go uptown to Brickstreet but then we got distracted.
Really, it was a fun night, and totally worth the sleep deprivation that followed.

Wednesday=had to wake up at 630am so I got like 4-5 hours of sleep. Cleaning ponds=tiring. Was supposed to go to an appointment but had to push it a week...so I worked some more. Literally, I came home...popped in a movie and fell asleep halfway through. I fell asleep at like 5pm, was supposed to eat dinner, got woken up for dinner, didn't feel like eating because I was so tired, and continued sleeping. Josh woke me up by accident at like 10:30pm (I didn't wake up to any of the periodic texts) and I promptly fell asleep about 10 minutes after the chitchat. I woke up at 730am, went back to sleep, and woke up 10 minutes ago. AWESOME. I still feel tired...but I should get ready for work now. I tossed a coin with sara yesterday and she has to work at the ERC all day and I'm working with her in the afternoon. This will be a very labor-intensive summer and I am already physically worn out. Just wait, I am going to be in such great shape by the end of all this! that is the perk of field work (not so much the difficulty and smell). I still need to find time to make sure I count the samples for work ... and make more bottles. Goody. My job is so random. I am so sleepy. dangit.