a lot to think about

It's been a pretty good day for the most part, Sunday, anyway.

Fell asleep at like 2-3am, woke up at 8am. Picked up Allie at like 10:30am, went to the outlet mall. Got a lot of good deals.  i bought 3 shirts for me and 1 shirt for Luke. We have almost matching yellow shirts! lol. Then we had Applebees. I was starting to get pretty worn out at this point and I'd just feel awkward. We had a good talk though and I am happy that she is very supportive/encouraging in general especially since I've been stressed/concerned for a while.  Maybe I just have too much time on my hands...right now, I am sure I do. My senior year? Apparently I slacked that year, or so I hear.  I don't totally know if I did. Maybe it just came off that way.  Impressions are different from reality.  People see what they're exposed to, people see what others want them to see...reality from a particular perspective.  There was certainly less pressure as far as schoolwork was concerned.  I definitely went out more but it was about time.  I came to the realization that life as I knew it was going to end very soon.  Many people...I wouldn't really see anymore...not often and maybe at all.  So much going on, so many changes about to happen. Thinking about it makes me anxious and I feel sort of helpless and a little lonely. But, whatever happens in life happens. I can't cling.

Made it back to Oxford in time for Josh and I to leave at a good time to go to Newport.  Had awesome Irish Pub Food. walked around a bit. Came back to Oxford in time to last minute-pick up Kait, drop off Josh, and pick up Allie for the movie -- The Other Guys.  It was alright. Not fab, but not bad at all.

Now I'm talking to Jennie, keepin her company for as long as I can as she's at the airport for a layover in Istanbul.

Sometimes I just feel so anxious and just don't know what to do with myself. I'm not sure how I like how the past couple years have been like.  I'm not nearly as emotionally consistent or that is how it comes off as.  I feel like there are a lot of things I have yet to deal with. I guess we'll see how the next couple of years go, how they turn out...Sometimes I just get overwhelmed thinking about too many things at once. Sometimes just listening to too many things stresses me out because I feel the need to be helpful/useful.  I'm not saying it's not satisfying to try to think of solutions, even if they are not used, just to have the "challenge" of doing something.