The past couple of days have been crazy even though there really was no reason for it to be so. I was up and down. But, when I get it out and have a breather I realize how stupid I am being and just feel awful about it. It's not really a good cycle to have and I want it to be better because I know it is not good for me and others.
Graduation itself was fine. Cold afternoon, hectic evening, and nothing quite went right. I'm learning more about myself. Good and bad things. I should just chill out.
Natalie and I were talking this afternoon about how she talks to her friends different from her mother because when she's with her mom she's a lot more emotional (crazy) because she feels there is less pressure to be "polite." I have no idea how to translate the word from Chinese but that is the closest I can come up with. I feel like with people you feel close attachments to there are assumed expectations as if they can read your mind. I can't read minds. I cannot expect others to be able to. I feel like I just take a long time to learn these things.
Anyway, Edwina (+mom&dad), Natalie (+mom&julian), and Josh came for dinner. Us girls just graduated and before long we'll be separated. If Jennie wasn't so busy packing she could've come. Sigh. Anyway, I enjoyed the food and I hope people enjoyed themselves. Natalie's mother is a fan of Josh I think. Natalie and Edwina said good things. I am a fan too but I feel like I sorta suck at doing that justice. Working on it.
I really need to step up my effort on just being a better person right now. I can't be putting others through my emotional roller coasters and need to deal with myself lol.
Hm, goodbye miami, good bye miami friends and hope to see everybody asap and continue good relationships, and hello future and one step closer to being a grown-up!
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