Post-Christmas

Christmas Eve was enjoyable enough.  A bunch of Chinese undergrads I didn't know, a phd student and his wife, and Josh came.  Luke was very happy and the food was good.

Christmas Day was very lively. Luke played with his new toys, and my parents loved their present (photos of fam in frame).  Then, after lunch, I drove to Eaton to spend time with Josh's family.  I opened my gifts from them, made flowers out of shiny red paper, played with Michael and the doggies and then ate dinner.  Chilled for a bit and then got pretty sick and threw up a bunch after feeling headachy-verge of migraine for a while.  I figured if I was going to be sick I'd want to be home so Josh drove me back in my car and his parents dropped his car off the next day when they went to church.

While at Josh's parents I found that the dogs are scared of my hat...maybe it's just because I came out of a dark room but, the hat confused them regardless.

Mmm...

was supposed to go shopping but I didn't feel well and Kait was sick. Josh and Declan came over for dinner and we played with Luke, ate food, went uptown, and just chilled.

Yesterday while I was waiting for Josh to finish at his chiropractor appointment I went to get my car washed.  I got there and the washer on the left looked dark but there was a car in it and the washer at the right had two cars waiting in line.  I checked out the one on the left and a figure waved at me to go line up at the other one.  This was a little confusing.  As it got to be just me waiting in line, a honda drove up and a guy came out and walked around the dark washer on the left.  Maintenance came too, and eventually discovered that it was a girl who was stuck in the washer.  I assume she had driven ahead too far and didn't want to back up properly so she just sat there for a while.  Once she finally came out of the washer, the honda guy switched seats with her and drove the car into the washer properly to have it cleaned.  I guess he came to her rescue, and the maintenance guy looked really annoyed at the whole dilemna, haha.

My car is clean! hooray :)

Shopped yesterday but was not that successful apart from two shirts for Luke.

I'm feeling very slow lately.  Life has gotten to feel pretty slow lately.  It is hard to be motivated...

Tomorrow is Josh's birthday.  It should be fun :)

Headed towards Christmas and the New Year

I haven't done all that much since I've been home...saw friends, shopped some (new boots and hat), ate food...

I got a Christmas gift early (external hdd) which is very necessary for what I'm about to undertake...

I finished backing up everything on my computer onto it last night which took many, many hours because my computer does NOT have enough RAM to take it, and my computer just has a lot of junk on it in general.  My harddrive memory is tolerable and sufficient, especially now that I plan on leaving some stuff on the ext hdd and putting them on DVDs.

To Do:

• Find a good way to have an older itunes accept my new itunes library
• back up stuff from my old desktop
• write everything onto DVDs with external DVD writer
• reformat computer with a partition to allow for linux and windows
• search for missing drivers and make sure everything is working smoothly
• put programs back on
• manually make my new library playlists again if necessary, especially if itunes refuses to use the library file I have...
• and I guess just make sure everything is running smoothly and explore

COME ON COMPUTER, LIVE!!!!

This will probably take until Christmas to finish...practically...

Also, I guess we're having random guests for Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow.  Mom found Chinese undergrad students with nowhere to go who were trying to move (by foot) stuff from Miami Commons to Candlewood...in the cold and snow...  Yeah, she went and got the car and helped transport their stuff...and now they're coming to dinner.  Fine by me, but it could be awkward, we'll see.

I really need to re-evaluate my finances now.  I just deposited a check for school but I think it is supposed to be for two quarters...which would cut everything in nearly half (because before there was the apartment settling-in costs).  Well...with this in mind...I can make it if I live EXTREMELY minimally or if I work 20hours a wk getting paid grad-level and live relatively comfortably.

I mean, I plan on having a full time job over the summer which would sustain me through those months even with me paying for everything on my own.

There are a lot of assumptions...

• That I can live minimally.
• That I can find a good and relevant job in time.
• That I know what I am doing...which I don't by the way.

Ways to do this...

Well, I won't be able to come home much winter quarter...there is like one good weekend for sure...but I have a feeling school will take up a lot of time...and it also depends on if I have a job and how much time that takes.  Winter quarter is pretty short though...goes from beginning to January to not even the end of March.  The trade off is less fuel costs but more utility costs.  The difference in finances will depend on my non-necessary spending like eating out. Time to cook more and find more free things! somehow.

I also should figure out how/if/when I am going to do a field experience abroad.  I should work on that...but that also depends on what kind of job I can get.  I can forgo the global health specialization if I can find a really good career experience soon, which would get me out of the school faster and into the working world.  Because, really, a lot of those classes...I've either taken something like that before, or it's learned on-site.  It's not like I haven't realized there are cultural differences that affect how we think and approach/attain healthcare...

For now, I may work on the essay thing anyway...

Dad needs to fix my car...

I need to fix my computer...

Figure out when I'm distributing Christmas Presents...

Day-After Christmas Shopping...

Yeah, stuff like that.

Maybe for starters I'll actually unpack so it looks less like a mess.  I have drawers for a reason, right? and they're empty...

Here's to Christmas and 2011!

EDIT: Ok, so the finances aren't as terrible as anticipated but still are not good.  I should somehow make it until summer, at which point I NEED TO MAKE SURE I HAVE A FULL TIME JOB. Yes.

Apartment storm

I feel like there has been a lot of movement, a lot of hassle, with very little results.

Most of the past two days have been decent, and some parts have been very good.

But, lets go back farther.

Monday night. some ridiculous time like 2am, Angeline wakes me up.  I am very confused because it sounds like it is storming/raining outside which made me want to continue sleeping...then she comes in and says that the apartment is flooding...

I jump up and am very surprised by the storm within the apartment. First thing I noticed was the water coming out of the light fixture in the kitchen...not just dripping, but it looked like a shower...and everything was wet...

Immediately I called emergency maintenance, and they were aware of the problem as the apartment upstairs had a waterline bust...which is the problem... I frantically unplug stuff, move stuff off counters, and try to identify all the wet spots.  At this point I am delirious and just giggling.

at around 4-4:30am the maintenance and carpet cleaning people come...and for the next two days we are stuck with dehumidifiers and fans, all industrial looking, all over the apartment.  And because my bathroom and closet are together...I got to have both of those IN MY ROOM/BATHROOM. Which meant that the first night resulted in essentially no sleep.

Upon waking up I am very annoyed that I am still really sleepy...cleaned which made me very grumpy.  Cleaning is one thing, cleaning by myself is another factor, cleaning something while feet are soggy? gross...it's just a mess....after lunch I couldn't take it anymore and headed over to Easton.  Bought PJs and slipper socks at VS, visited with Vanessa, the mall smelled weird (like the stuff they perm hair with), and then we bumped into Will.  Then, the three of us walked over to Barnes and Nobles because Vanessa's mom and brother wanted to see Glen Beck.  Will and I got caffeine (I desperately needed it), and then afterwards he drove us to our cars.  I met up with Vanessa at her house, and we exchanged gifts (she gave me a beautiful new Fossil purse! hands free! ). Her brother left for soccer.  We later discover he had driven off with Vanessa's car without telling her...and my shopping bag was in it.  I wanted it.  He wasn't going to be home at a decent hour and her dad said to not make it easy for him.

Had dinner with her family at Chipotle (it was very entertaining), watched Robot with Vanessa, and she made me REALLY RICH hot chocolate.  Then I went home. Got a decent amount of sleep.

Woke up, went to get my MRI done for Angeline's clinical psych study thing...it made me sleepy but it was sort of cool...came home...Vanessa's brother dropped off my bag, more like I met him at the entrance cus he somehow couldn't get in...Even better, i was excited and wanted to try the PJs on....the stupid detector/sensor tag is on it. So pissed. Stupid store. had to DRIVE TO TUTTLE to get them to take it off. What a hassle. GOOD thing is that when I got back, it fit well, and I think it's cute, as well as the slipper socks.

Then began laundry.

Maintenance took away all the fans/dehumidifiers so it is quiet but it still smells like soggy cardboard and mothballs.  Monday they're going to professionally clean the whole apartment. Hm.

Also, sometime during the apartment storm mess my shovel disappeared. I paid decent money for that shovel cus I wanted a big one and now it is gone...

and my car is disgustingly dirty...

before long laundry will be done and I will feel somewhat accomplished today, until tomorrow when I get to go to the dentist, clean, and stuff...apartment is still gross.

before long I will be back in Oxford, hopefully break is good...we'll see...

Side to Side

Day started out bleh:

Woke up, and discovered a lot of snow outside, and snow steadily coming down, making most of the landscape unvisible...Then I realized...I need a shovel.

So, I attempted to wake my roommate up to tell her to plan accordingly to get her errands done (while it was not incredibly snowy) ... that failed.

On my way out of my apartment complex...I couldn't see out of my windshield...so I stopped, scraped it all off...and then it came back...and the windshield fluid made it worse, not because it froze, but I guess there mightve been weird stuff on the windshield and it just smeared around...so I had to stop again because I couldn't even see the speed bumps and only was aware of them After going over them...

I went to Wal-Mart.  Fishtailed a little a few times on the way. This did not make me very happy because I could not see, the road there was awful, and I didn't like making myself and others nervous.  Bought a shovel and a few other things.

My trip home from Wal-Mart was exceedingly better but I was still a little sad of how the trip to Wal-Mart went. But, once I got home I shoveled some of the snow around my little parking spot, chipped off the snow that was stuck behind the tires, and filled up car with de-icer windshield washer fluid. Gotta be prepared!

Um, was a little nervous about going to Vanessa's graduation dinner in Worthington but, eventually the snow cleared up some and I made it there REALLY early, but better than late.

Food was delicious. Vanessa and I ate a TONNN of steak and such....and the wine was awesome, as was dessert and cappuccino.

As Vanessa's dad warmed up their car before we left, Will went to go clean my car and warm it up.  By the time we left, my car was in front of the door, which is very nice as I got to be warm once I got into my car and changed into my boots so I could drive.

The drive home was fine though I ended up taking some weird route by accident...either way, there was little traffic, couldn't see any lines, and I didn't feel like I was going to hit something.  Minimal sliding, lol.

Now my body is very confused.  Wine makes me sorta sleepy and caffeine makes me feel anxious, it is a very confusing state.

I hope to return a dress tomorrow to the mall and make a snowman.  Those are my Monday goals. Sounds reasonable, right?

I am glad to not have school, I like feeling like I have a life.  School shouldn't be my whole life, even though important :)

Congratulations, Vanessa, on graduating!

cheers!

just want to feel

I want to feel like I mean the world to somebody.

is that selfish?

or needy?

because I already feel a Lot of other positive things. I feel accomplished, ambitious, loved by friends, admired, relieved, etc.

but still feeling like I want more.

is that unreasonable? to want to feel more than just my acknowledged presence, because I already know I exist.

in life, I want to strive for more, I want to get as much as I can from my life so I give as much energy into life, but I want to have renewed feelings to fuel this life.

but I need to find a way to make this happen for myself. I need to pursue things that satisfy me and make me happy. I need to pursue what I want, which is more.

Full morning

OSU Bomb Threat

Well that was certainly excitement enough.  Our building was not affected so we were not evacuated...so we were stuck in that room taking our Biostat 2 exam. Lemme tell ya, that was NOTTTTT a fun exam, AT ALL.

There are two questions I am really upset about because I think I may have done them wrong due to my interpretation of the question.  That's the problem with word problems, it makes stats complicated because calculations depend on the nature of the question. Yeah. I'll see how it goes, I will probably have to go to talk to the professor and defend my reasoning for the question.  Although, I should have probably written a note on the exam...but I didn't have the time to do so.  We'll see. I hope it didn't go terribly bad.

THEN, we barely got a break when we got to dive into our Case Study. A lot of quick thinking and problem solving.  But, the last part of the Case Study was fun because we got to design a study.  Which is good that I enjoyed that because that will be what my future career will have as well.

Hmm...now, I should be working on a Study Design but it took a while to even start it because it's starting from scratch, including the exposure and the disease...We'll see how it goes, I've already changed my topic like twice...I'm sort of tired of schoolwork by now though. My brain is tired. Plenty of work to get done this week!

On the upside:
Bomb threat turned up empty, I have no class tomorrow, and dinner party Friday!

lonely moments

sometimes I feel like I've wasted so much time and for what? not productivity and not for fun...

sometimes I feel lonely and insignificant

I know I'm not but sometimes it's easy to feel it

I hope its a better day after I sleep

LOTS OF FOOD.

So this past Thursday some of us went to Thurman's café and it was DELICIOUS! we walked around while we waited for our Take-out to be ready because there was going to be a one hour wait to even be seated.  There were no drinks so we just ate it without any...on the bench outside.  It was AWESOME. and MESSY. I had like bleu cheese sauce on my face periodically and it was a hassle getting it off.  My hands were drenched and so were my chips.  Everything was so yummy! the mess was worth it.

Then I went to Vanessa's.
It was fun.
made yummy funnel cakes (fluffy and delicious!)
worked on our project (wall decor that turned out beautifully)
went for a ride in her dad's new BMW Z4 (so smooth!)
ate yummy pumpkin icecream.

That was a really, really fun day.

Friday I didn't do much apart from the review session.  I actually didn't feel that great for a lot of the weekend, certain it is stress/anxiety related. Saturday was relatively uneventful, it also forced me to nap because I felt icky. But, in the evening, after some homework/studying I went to watch Morning Glory w/ Angeline.  At Wal-Mart there was a drugbust! with sniffer german shepherd dogs, and lots of cop cars! and handcuffs! probably the most exciting thing we've seen in a while here...haha.  The movie was good.  Then we went to Wal-Mart.

We attempted to burn DVDs she needed for her advisor but it turned out my laptop can't burn DVDs. So...so much for that.

Eeeh.

I need to study more.
I need to eventually find a job.
I need to learn to manage money better, not that I'm terrible at it so far...
Hm, I keep adding to my wish-list.

I can't wait for next weekend! Josh visits :) and the thanksgiving dinner party here! hooray!

Halloween Weekend

So on Friday I went out for the SPH Halloween party at Park Street Saloon.  May came over and I made us dinner, we went over some homework, and got ready together! I was a fairy and she was little red riding hood.

Fairy was very appropriate. And the hair turned out great! and fast.

We got there without a problem and without a GPS but then we couldn't find parking...we gave up and decided to valet.

Drinks were good, music was amusing (piano player), costumes were fun, and it was more expensive of a night than anticipated.  Definitely felt it later, especially when I got home and sat in my roommate's room on the floor just blabbering.

Saturday morning...made eggs, panfried toast, etc.  Did biostats like a crazy person and finished early ish in the day.  Then went to Easton to visit Vanessa, bought True Religion fragrance that I have been wanting for WEEKS because it was a huuuuge giveaway of gifts with purchase and I ended up with a lot of bonus gifts! that will become Christmas gifts for some.  Which is a really good deal, cus all this stuff is normally really expensive...I mean the fragrance IS expensive.  Then Robby took us out to Sushi and Will met us there.  Amazing food. Then went to Fado Irish Pub.  Fun evening. Drove home. was tired.

Sunday...spent some time working on homework...then the smoke detector kept beeping and annoying us.  Eventually figured out the battery is dead, but neither of us can reach it because the ceiling is tall...and we did not have batteries.  Quarry eventually came and fixed it, right before I left for Pistacia Vera in German Village to meet with Vanessa and her parents.  Pastries were DELICIOUS. Expensive, but DELICIOUS. They were very sweet and treated me to some very sweet treats. Yes, and a double-shot expresso cappuccino.  Which right after departure made me feel really crazy and made driving on 670 home fun...and made me overwhelming once I walked into the apartment as I blabbered and paced around.  It did help me get through putting 19 albums on CDs (Discography for Chemical Brothers & Crystal Method) for Josh in time for his Backpacking trip this weekend.  THEN I worked on my presentation in Diarrhoeal Diseases...for a long time...then I crashed.  Caffeine works. Too well.

I have my appointment for my Naturalization Oath this Friday. Will be home for the weekend, but until then there is A LOT I need to get done. A lot. More caffeine? bring it.

First Graduate School Midterm Season!

It's been good lately. Vanessa's birthday on Friday was fun! met nice/fun people and got a pink squirrel (drink) which is pretty much a pink white russian, Josh had all sorts of drinks..., and the filet mignon sliders were DELICIOUS. omg.

Saturday went to the car wash, mall, walked around Conservatory (outside cus it was about to close) and ate at Sunflower! it was sorta expensive because we didn't know how much food it'd be but it was AWESOME and authentic. Pretty legit. Seafood <3. Oysters <3. I was REALLY excited to google oysters later in the evening after he left to find out that they are one of the most nutritionally well-balanced foods. OMG. I had a lot of oysters Sunday too...

I was REALLY productive in the middle of the night Saturday, somewhat productive Sunday after I woke up REALLY EARLY for no reason, baked a mixed-fruit pie with minimal sugar/butter, and then went back to sleep whereupon Josh called at like 1pm and it woke me up. HAHA, I was pretty upset that I had slept in so long but I'm sure I needed it.  I need plenty of rest! i DONT want to get sick.

Got my biostats exam back today, it was good but it could've been a lot better had I not gotten the easiest questions wrong...and somehow I got all the hardest questions RIGHT, the ones almost everybody missed...strange. At least that means I'm not totally slow right now?

TODAY was pretty cool, May and I got to our cars just as it was getting Real windy.  I could feel the resistance from the wind as I drove home which made me a little anxious but it turned out find.  When I got back to the Quarry I drove around the apt making sure I parked in the safest spot..aka not near an isolated tree.  I figured bushes were safe enough.

I was by myself...until about 10 minutes ago, haha. When I couldn't see anything outside my window because of the storm I hid in my bathroom with blankets, pillows, laptop, phone, and my homework.  I was REALLY productive in there, haha. Even after the storm was over I stayed in there for a little while because it was such a hassle to migrate.

Today is great because even though i was productive I was also a total bum. I ate like every other hour. ie: large bag of popcorn in 15 minutes.  A lot of fish sticks, okra, leftovers, etc. hahaha. It's nice to have movies playing in the background. It is such a cozy day :).

Now I just need to study more, register for courses in the morning, study more, study break with the girls...eventually that exam.

Hm...I have yet to figure out what to do about Halloween? to go back to Oxford or not?

Weekend Wedding

It's been a nice couple of days for the most part. Caught up on sleep, went to wedding with the Beherns family. Back seat of the van was a little cramped but alright.  Danced with Michael (2 years old) a couple of times, ran around, ate food, napped in the van...

I am so sore.
so sore.

This is REALLY sad that I am so sore and I really didn't do much in terms of physical activity. Stiff.

Got back to Columbus in less than two hours, groceries, cleaned around the apartment, new playlist, and am now watching Amelia and going over Biostats.

I'm tired.

I love being home

The weekend was fun.
Spent a lot of time with everybody, or at least tried. Shopped, bought PIGGY!!!! splattt, so much fun! although I think Josh loves piggy more than I do...played with piggy for half an hour straight, haha, piggy flew everywhere! it's amazing. I gave a strawberry version to Luke in addition to the Legos i bought him.

Josh helped pick out an awesome new coat! white, form fitting, sleek, just what I had been looking for! northface, and like 50% total off retail price at the outlet cus they had a sale. Pretty pumped.

enjoyed sunshine, fun, relaxation, food...

I really need to slow down on the gorging myself with food thing...I was doing so well!!!

now I'm tired, sleep deprived, and trying to figure out this global health stuff, and biostats, eeeeh...

life is good though, just a lot to think about.

i also need to spend less.

im tired << see?

So much to plan for, so much to do! in a good way

Well, once again I had to pay for parking but I got free food for the global health information meeting.  AND, I learned that my internal compass is securely in place! parked on the w12th ave parking garage, found out its connected to the hospital, and just walked through it the way I felt I should through the tunnel-like system, through the various offices/departments/food areas, and somehow ended up at the front door near my class! I didn't stop, barely paused, didn't look at maps, just went towards a direction and even though it felt like I randomly turned, it all turned out right! And later, going back to the parking lot, I didn't have a problem going through the building for the equivalent of like 2 blocks or something.  I was pretty excited, it might not sound like a big deal to anybody else, but to me, it is. It made me feel good.  It's the little things...

I am really excited!

So much to do though, like application, finding a project, finding a place to do the project and a precept for the project...in a developing country over some/all of summer! What is it that I want to do? We'll see!

Went to Giant Eagle, then home.  Ended up spending a lot, but I have a lot of projects/food I want to make and stuff...Got whole cloves by accident instead of ground cloves because it was on sale...I don't have anything to grind it with...except maybe stick it in saran wrap/paper bag and smash it on something not valuable with a hammer. I wouldn't smash it hard of course... I also came to the conclusion that even though Giant Eagle isn't a favorite because it doesn't have all that I need when I want it...it's better than the Kroger that is near me which sorta creeps me out thanks to its location.  Even though I like the stuff at Whole Foods better, it is so expensive there! and so hard to navigate! and today, I realized why I have trouble navigating it when normally I've been really good about it recently...

Everything in the store looks about the same, they're all about "natural" and "organic" and are all packaged in similar colors and materials... no wonder I get confused, everything looks the same from a distance.

Went to a 4 hour long class, which turned out well apart from feeling REALLY drawn out and LONGGGGG...ugh, 4 hours straight? Well, more like 3 and a half because we got let out early.  Anyway, I'm sort of excited because we have presentations coming up and we get to choose a disease and talk about the incidence, prevalence, mortality/morbidity rates, relevance, why we are interested, how it is transmitted and treated, etc.  There are a couple I am interested in, and maybe it'll give me a head start or at least help in determining what project I want to do for my practicum/study abroad because it is important to try out what I may possibly want to do with my life to make sure that's where I belong. I am excited! I hope I do not run out of this energy to figure everything out!

After class I made amazing banana-nut bread and it was quick! Delicious. And I made dinner and thoroughly enjoyed it.

It's amazing that I keep losing weight because I cook every day and eat a lot...I have the receipts to prove it.

Columbus is good, so many interesting things/experiences to look forward to and plan for, and so many new friends!

Best weekend in Columbus thus far :)

Went to Easton mall on Friday and brought two friends from my program with me because they had never been.  It was fun, got recruited to potentially work for A&F, and replaced the battery on my watch, hooray!

Saturday...spent it putting around, errands, cooking, and then Josh visited! I wasn't sure if he was gonna come because of work, but when I called at 5pm he said he was on the road and joked about how food should be ready by arrival...but I didn't know where he was on the road...and he was just giving me a hard time.  Thankfully once he got through the gates, he ended up wandering around confused about where it was, just enough time to have the steaks started and done :P 8 minutes. hahaha.

Dinner was delicious, if I do say so myself...

Went to gallery hop, Sushi Rock (awesome drinks/food but expensiiiive).

Went to Cosi today, played with kids, played with gadgets, got exercise, and had a lot of fun.

Ate at Noodles, it was good, and then it got not as good mostly because...yeah, to me it still felt like fast food.  No Olive Garden, that's fo'sho'.

Relaxed, took a walk around the Quarry in the dark, then he went home.  He is almost home now.

I am very happy, it's been a great weekend and I wasn't stressed out at all the whole time. A lot of things to look forward to! like the hot tub and the put-put course here, haha.

That, and next weekend I'll be home for a bit to get my ssn, and the weekend after for a wedding!

October is awesome.

ℒℴνℯ Fall weather!

It's been fun lately, hanging out with people, meeting a ton of people.
Columbus is good, if only the traffic was always good too, lol.

αℓωαчs ℒℴνℯ

More food

Recap

Got lost in the parking lot yesterday, aka forgot where I parked...

Some girl in scrubs walked up to me and was like, "hey, are you leaving soon? can my friend have your spot? this is really awkward."...."when I find my car...it's a little awkward that I don't know where my car is."  Thankfully her friend found a spot during the conversation.

Then some woman in a huge SUV proceeded to drive REALLY slow and follow me down like two aisles, thankfully by that time I was closer to where my car was somehow and found it...but as I backed out, not just her, but some car blocked my exit out of the aisle...had to co-maneuver with the SUV to get out.

Um..class is good so far.

Got my STATA package today after wandering around looking for the IT place, turns out I was closer to it at the parking garage than on my search.

Made a lot of food lately.

I intended to buy butternut squash but ended up with white acorn squash somehow...which I sort of regret and realize why my mother hated buying it.  It took me half an hour to de-skin two acorn squash.  It's not really peeling either...more like carving.  My hands hurt for a while and I was starting to sweat. After about 10 minutes i got a little better at it though.

Thankfully the dish came out beautifully.

Um...yeah...Did some STATA homework, and it's not bad so far but I also realize it is the first assignment, and the first course of 3 that use STATA, haha, at least.

Had a lovely conversation with my roommate as she was freaking out and very confused about priorities with life/school.

Key points that she says she wants to write down to remember that maybe I should remind myself of:

• Focus on necessities first and not waste time just worrying about stuff we can't control because it makes us depressed and then makes the whole situation worse.
• Don't compare yourself to somebody else because that is assuming they are better when really? you don't know.
• There is a big difference between guidelines and requirements that we set for ourselves, and the consequences differ as well.
• It's more important that you're happy with yourself than if somebody else is happy with you.  Because if your happiness depends on them then you aren't actually happy because people come and go.  Assume that at some point, because you're human, they're going to be unhappy about you but that's not the end all be all. Like any friendship or relationship, you're gonna get upset, but you're also gonna be happy.
• Don't try to be somebody else because that is assuming that their method is superior.
• It is not necessary to do everything at once, everybody experiences events in a different order and in a different way...that's what makes us unique, but that's what also makes dynamics complicated and fluid.

.............


I should get back to my homework now.

Food Therapy

Very rough night, didn't really sleep much.  There's a lot for me to re-evaluate right now.

Went to the grocery store, was exhausted, but then got to work making food.  made AMAZING Moussaka...If I do say so myself ;), wayyy better than last timeeee...

the beschemel sauce turned out beautiful, not lumpy...just smooth and custard-y, the way I wanted it to be. SCORE.

Had that with mixed veggies.

Then had fudge chocolate cake for dessert :-D

Angeline says I'm an emotional eater...maybe, haha.  Goal, not to get fat...but to also enjoy my food! Gotta enjoy life regardless.  We'll see how my life turns out haha.

I just want this week to end.

Wednesday sucked. Parking was a fail, broke a printer toner that was very expensive, etc.
Thursday...today...well, it started out well.  Got to campus at 8am, found good parking, class...then went to cincy. Got there early, took forever to find parking, walked like 5 blocks to the fed building, they let me in, got there early, did well on my interview. WIN!

I felt like it was a win-day until After happy hour even though I was exhausted. Happy hour was at least sorta fun, I really was there for just an hour, lol. Met some interesting people. I am still tired.

Internet's down. Very frustrating cus I thought it was my computer w the issues so i restored a point...ugh...its out in the area but i think its slowly coming back so we're using neighbors internet for now...i hope our internet comes back and its not bc of our own technology being faulty...

bahhhhh......and I feel like I blabbered on a lot today and I feel like a baby about being so frustrated.

I hope tomorrow is better.

Orientation and pre-first day

Orientation was so longggg...Michelle told me it was at 8am but the paper said 8:30am...thankfully my search for parking and walking resulted in my showing up in between those times, lol.

Met a lot of people, it was fun, and some parts were really boring...typical. It was also really hot and crowded outside...OSU is humungous.

Then got my buck ID after some time of wandering...it looks good, thankfully.  Then went to the bank...home...

SUNBATHED. yes. I am back to the shade I am normally at during this time of the year. And, it felt awesome out in the sun.

Roomie and I then went to the CAM Asian Supermarket which was awesome.  We should've found it earlier cus a lot of stuff is cheaper! bought some good food. She bought a bamboo.

Got stressed in the evening.

Trying to figure out my whole grad school thing, may graduate later if I add the global health interdisciplinary program thing, need to find a GA position of some sort to help fund my education, need to find internships/volunteer opportunities to make the most of my time here...something like that.  I can't figure out how competitive my field really is right now but I do know that in the program, the range in demographics is very broad.  I feel VERY young.  There are a lot of people who already have experience..like they just graduated med school, were doctors, did extensive medical research already with multiple degrees, were paramedics, worked in the field for a while but want more...etc.  Then there's some of us undergrads who just graduated...and we look like freshman all over again, actually people just think we're freshman anyway.

So...here's to the next two-three years of grad school and finding my place in life with the help of some awesome new friends and hard work bc biostats? oh boy....

Two Homes

This feels weird.  Well, it felt weird when I first got into Oxford. Now it feels like I haven't left. I sorta miss my apartment and Columbus but I am realizing how much I appreciate green trees, grass, and squirrels...even the corn fields. I want to take squirrels back with me. And I also realized how worn out I was, and how tired I've been, and that I'm much more sleep deprived than anticipated. Haha.

Tomorrow is Oktoberfest.
yay!
Sunday--back to Columbus! eeh...

No longer lonely

I have a roomate!

She's really nice/fun so far but has a lot of learning yet to do about being independent.  Not that I'm a pro at it or anything as I am totally new to it too, but to me it's like playing house and it's been going pretty well.  The apartment is pretty homey, I cook all the time, clean a lot, organize well, and I think I'm getting the hang of the whole routine.  I just need to eat all the food in the fridge before it goes by, manage money better, etc.

So Much To Do!

Cooked for a dinner party yesterday.  Michelle came over at around 6pm, dinner was mostly done by then. She brought Flash (her dog) who is ADORABLE. So WELL BEHAVED for such a little pooch. He did poop on the carpet in my bathroom though, but as far as dog poop go it was very very easy to clean and didn't leave anything.  Had food, and they enjoyed it a lot, then Colin came.  Everybody got to know each other and got along really well which is great, Colin ate food, dog did tricks, we took doggie for walk and checked the mail (got bills Already!).  Had dessert with Fuki Plum Wine. Delicious. More conversation.  It was a successful evening and I think everybody felt really good about meeting new people and stuff.  I'm excited.

Michelle and I plan on grooming her dog ourselves sometime cus getting his haircut is like 50$ every other month...that's more expensive than a PERSON! that and I've always wanted to try my hand at grooming a dog, not just any dog, a poodle, or something that doesn't have super messy/shedding hair...and Michelle's dog is probably partly poodle! he doesn't shed.  I'm pretty excited. That's really weird, I know.

My roommate is still sleeping.  I've been awake for a while.  So far I've watched the new premiere of the season of Gossip Girl (omg Life Unexpected is backkk!!!!), showered, made veggie omlet, bread with nutella/bananas, made and had coffee....and did a bunch of busywork...and she's still sleeping, lol.

I'll be home soon, I hope she's ok on her own here for a few days.  Gonna hafta learn to be independent sometime! I had a whole week of figuring that out already.

What to do today? I am so wired right now. I don't want to do errands and I don't wanna waste a lot of gas cus so far life is so expensive and I'm gonna hafta drive a lot soon anyway.

Ah, Life is good :)

Productive day in Columbus!

Went to my interview today...had trouble finding the parking lot, then took a while to park, then had creepers try to talk n follow me pretty much to the building (3 doors were closed which made me anxious til I found one that opened). Ugh.

The interview went ok, sounds like an office job, I have my reservations about it, but the pay is good. We'll see how that goes...I don't feel like getting into it much except that it depends on 1) how I feel my chances are to get something more relevant, 2) how much time I have, 3) money, etc.

Went to buy books at SBX, riskily parked in a random lot because that's where I thought the bookstore was, turns out it was a block down the road...thankfully it took like less than 2 minutes to find my books and buy them and cashier told me where I should've parked.  I am so grateful my car was not towed or ticketed.

Then went to Lennox because Steph and I had planned on seeing the 2:05pm showing of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.  But, she had a lot of errands so I went to the bank to get quarters and cash, got my car washed (clean! and I got slightly lost trying to get out cus everything was blocked), went to Target, got stuff, and then went home to do some busywork and such.

Then desk showed up in its nice box, then I went to watch the movie w Steph after some caffeine.

Came home. Spent 2 hours building desk while watching Confessions of a Shopaholic. Success! except two metal screw things that just didn't match the holes but it doesn't drastically affect the stability or anything lol. Oh well...At least I have a desk now! and I feel less sick! but I don't feel that hungry...

busy and fun day? yes.

New Albany

After battling with my router forever, I eventually figured it out...sometime in between that I gave Time Warner a bit of trouble cus my computer was rejecting stuff...

Got my car re-balanced -- thump,thump,thump--gone!

Check engine light is back on but I think it's related to the gas cap or something cus it was only right after I filled up again.

Went to New Albany. When I got to Vanessa's I was a little confused because 1) there was a roundabout on the way, 2) the driveway. There was a huge square of brick and then a brick driveway thing to the garages so I followed it, then found it was a dead end and I was then blocking the garages and they were on their way home....sooo, I had to drive backwards all the way back and park in the big square.  haha.  Vanessa lives in a beautiful home and her family was very welcoming and uber Christian.  Interesting conversations. Delicious food. A lot of fun.  her and her friend took me to Zen Cha (awesome tea--delicious)

Steph and Kyle tried to help me fix my bed frame. It just isn't gonna work out I guess. We put it in the storage closet that Kyle discovered.  Having the bed just on the box on the floor looks fine though really, I could have my room be more loungy.

I am also thinking of not having a legit dresser (big) and just having a small chest for delicates, socks, shirts and the rest of my stuff like sweaters/jeans/pants/etc. in the huuuuge closet I have.  It'll look neater and the furniture could probably fit in my car (convenient).

Gonna hit up some used furniture store and home goods (discounted nice stuff) soon.

I enjoy meeting new people and it's been a good few days even though there have been a lot of bumps in this adventure thus far.

Welcome to Columbus

Long story short.
Must've run over something on the highway? Had a flat tire (rear) that we noticed once I parked at the apartment for the first time. I was due for new tires anyway soon-ish bc they were pretty worn and dad didn't think they were good tires at all anyway. Steph came by to help so moving was Super fast! We were all starving, needed to find me mattress, get basic necessities for the apartment, and needed tires. So we went to Wal-Mart which had 3 of those things.  While the tires were getting done, new Goodyear as opposed to a brand I've never heard of, we ate at Subway at Wal-Mart, and got necessities. A LOT OF STUFF.

Went to mattress store, found one for a good price (it is soooo plush pillow top) and it was to be delivered Saturday evening.

Dad set up stuff and then he left to go visit family friends NE of Columbus. Steph and I did more shopping...Tuttle Mall. Got the best sheets ever after being so frustrated. 1500 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets, coastal-ish blue-gray for 35$ at a Kiosk. SO SOFT. We got back and put it in the washer a few apartment buildings down. Waited for Delivery people for Mattress. They were really late so we couldn't grab din with Kait and her mom. It finally arrived at 9pm. Then we found out the frame dad set up for the mattress was the wrong size...so a full bed is now on a queen frame until further notice...pretty much until I get muscles around to help with it, like get a new frame or something.  Dad says the mattress people may have been lying to me and just wanted my money cus it probably does fit a full, I looked at it just now and I think dad may be right but at the time I was so tired and now I'm by myself and don't have anybody with muscles around to help me move the mattresses and fix my frame...and I have no tools. I need tools. Then we went to Target and Kroger. I made dinner. watched half a movie, passed out.

This morning we went to Easton. I bought jeans and two candles.

We went to a used furniture place (very close to my apt), I got a set of dishes there that I think have a lot of character.  They look a little older but I wanted white ish plates but then the whole apartment is white so this is off white. The style is a little mature for me perhaps but for the price of like 35$ I'm pretty pleased.  Although when I went to Wal-Mart today I saw some I liked for the same price but it was a little generic I guess...that's what I tell myself.  But really, that store had some pretty cool things, there are these bar chairs that are really nice but I'm waiting for the price to go down in a few weeks so in about two weeks I'm going back to see what else they have...I mean there is a lot I still need.

Mmmmm then she left so I was alone for the first time in Columbus. Chitchatted on phone, did laundry, busywork, watched a movie.  Then I decided to go to Wal-Mart to get more things like basic groceries, a humidifier cus it's dry and it's making it hard for me to sleep right now cus I'm sick, mattress pad, etc. I got a little lost. I've spent way too much this weekend and it's freaking me out but I mean it's all useful things.  There's still more I have yet to get but this is good for now.  Also my car is making weird thumping noises but it's too dark for me to see anything and we'll see how it goes.

Time warner comes sometime between 8am-noon tomorrow. And I think I'm going up to New Albany to sunbathe and stuff with Vanessa. Something like that?

So much going on. So tired. Sick. Plans. Boredom. Busy. AHHHHH! Hello, Columbus.

4 days left

It's Tuesday afternoon, I'm feeling pretty lazy and I have a sore throat.
It was sorta itchy yesterday and now it feels more swollen and even more difficult to swallow.  At least I don't think I have a fever and I don't have the sniffles (yet?). I've had a good couple of days. Shopping trips, food, movies, friends, etc.  I'm a little sad to leave but I'm sort of excited for my new home. I also started packing, if you can even call it starting...I put like two drawers of clothes in a suitcase. Now my brother wants to play. Skyline tonight! aha.

Herd of Deer

There were 6-7 deer in my yard when I walked home tonight. They startled me and they all stared at me, or at least looked towards my direction trying to figure out what I was...They didn't run away at least. It was pretty cool.

I need to be home more.  That's what I plan on doing Friday. Today.

I need to figure out what's bothering me so much that makes me unhappy because I need to fix it.  I'll distract myself and make an effort to be happy but it doesn't last as long as it should.

I need new dreams.  Searching for more things to look forward to.  Having more things to work towards.  That helps.

goals? some sort of relevant job/experience at OSU amongst the other things I need to learn to become a grown-up.  transition.

New dreams? looking.
Things to look forward to? good change, new friends, new opportunities, and hopefully good experiences with challenges.

9 days and counting

The thing about the past is, you can't get away from it, good or bad, it's there.

Another thing is, the past doesn't change so more likely than not, you stick to your first impression.

It's all through a perspective. Key, A perspective.  Whether or not it's right? I don't know.  What is true anyway? Sometimes it's just relative.

But one thing for sure, it's the past and it's easy to let the past shadow the present and future.  It's always right behind you and sometimes right where you are. Can't run from your shadow.  I guess all you can do is step on it...or step into darkness...or just don't look at it, lol.

It's even worse if you feel like the shadow.

I'm a little tired of shadows. You can't touch them yet they hold such importance. How annoying. Just.Can't.Get.Away.  I don't want to step into the darkness yet I don't want the shadow. Not looking at it doesn't really do any good so far because even if you're not looking for it, you see it. I guess all I can do is have the light directly above me and just step on it. There...I guess I have to step into the very bright light.

P.S. I got a new baby flashlight. The light is green. go away bugs?

11 days

Less than a week until I move to Columbus.

In a way I am super pumped because moving means...
a greater sense of independence,
a challenge in terms of budgeting, academics, social networking...and just moving forward in general.
It will also be a challenge for my relationship.  Granted two hours isn't all that far it is enough to not be able to randomly have lunch or dinner together, take study breaks together, etc.  But, I feel pretty good about it most of the time. I already have a few weekends planned that I will be in Oxford/Cincinnati and I am hoping he will visit when he can as well although he usually works on weekends, will undoubtedly have homework at some point, and gas is expensive.  Then again, I don't know how much money I will have myself, don't know if I will have a job while in school such as a research position, and have no idea what my workload will look like.  But, all that can be figured out in the very near future, haha.  Some things are worth the effort.

September 17-19 is Oktoberfest in Cincinnati.
I Might come home in the afternoon on the 25th because that's the Hikeathon but it's very doubtful because I don't think I'd be able to make it on time anyway because I have some sort of  a team building thing and I have no idea when that ends.
Emily and Nash's wedding is in October, I think around the 16th?

I just wish I knew when my Naturalization interview is. I hope it doesn't interfere with more things in general...but it's probably in Cincinnati although who knows, maybe they'll move it to Columbus.  If in Cincinnati, I'd be coming back for that, and depending on the day of the week...I may end up going to Columbus same-day, lol.

Luke's birthday is October 17th but with the wedding I probably can't celebrate on that day but maybe if I come home the Thursday before or just come the weekend after again.

With that said, it seems like I'll be in Oxford a good deal before Thanksgiving (for which I will be home for like 4 days total?) Then before long I have a crazy long winter break.  Where I will spend it is TBD.

Right now I'm back to the same old pet peeve, a messy room.  Everything around me is messy right now.  Like the house is driving me nuts, especially my own room.  But I don't really have motivation to do anything about it because 1) it won't stay clean because of Luke, 2) the stuff in my room is gonna just go into a car soon to be moved so there's no point organizing it. As much as I love that little boy, everything's just been sorta disarrayed now.  My parents have changed, I don't know if it's for the better really because now they're just paranoid.  My mom is usually obsessive about cleanliness and neatness but I think part of her has given up yet is still annoyed about it. I don't think if I have the patience for children of this much "energy" and maintenance. It drives me crazy. It's like I want to do more about it but it's just discouraging because it feels pointless.

I miss having a set schedule.  I miss going to classes and stuff but I realize this coming quarter (sounds weird saying quarter) is going to be different.  I will be commuting.  I can't just wake up and walk to class. There will be plenty of traffic.  But, it's a challenge I think I am looking forward to.

Sleek

Now that I am moving in 18 days I've just been thinking more.  I am very used to moving, moving is normal to me in a way.  From what I can tell, everywhere I live is about the same, it just depends what I do with it because until Columbus it was just the same because I mostly had my parents and now Luke but then I had good friends.

At least I have good luck with friends.  Other than that? Oh, I've had some wiiiiiiiinners (eye roll).

Up until the past two years or so I was a very optimistic person.  I'm still pretty optimistic but not anything like before. I had energy out the wazoo up until a few years after I moved to Oxford.  Over the years I had to deal with people that my being so optimistic was just fake, or that I needed to be more realistic, then I was not optimistic enough, then I needed to be realistic, then I just got worn down. Partly my own fault but there is some truth to it.  The world isn't full of rainbows. Although, I'd say I'm still pretty lucky nothing terrible has happened in my life but I have become more aware of things although sometimes that makes me rather paranoid and frustrated because Everybody experiences life differently and thus results in differing and sometimes conflicting perspectives.  Sometimes it just comes down to how supportive somebody will be or if they'll just invalidate all that you say because of their truth.  Truth, is it really true? Life is very ambiguous because you can't know everything.  You can really only know life from your own perspective, you cannot account for what somebody else experiences and cannot assume that what you are being told is even true.  I guess I'm rather skeptical but sometimes it is very useful but I just have to try not to let it get in the way of life.

So where does this bring us now? Well...with moving...I cannot keep in touch with EVERYBODY but I'd say I do a pretty good job of keeping in touch with a lot of people from experience but I'm not as good at it anymore.  Right now, online, I maybe talk to 5 or so regulars versus the like 20 before at a time.  But, I take life a lot more seriously now and I can't keep track of things as well because my individual thoughts take more energy than before because it is necessary to be more thorough.  I know it's coming that there are many I won't see again or much.  When it comes down to it, there are core friends that I want to keep in touch with and hopefully see as much as I can because when it comes to fundamental variables, they're there.  Friends I want to have for life. Other than that, I don't want to spend much energy on people here as I leave because really? there are others I want to see more of and I want to take advantage of the limited time.  This is not meant to be mean and not to meant to be taken personally because I mean I know people do the same to me and that doesn't bother me.  It is normal to grow apart and to not really talk anymore.  I can't drag the past around too long, or at least I try not to. Some people are just too much right now. So I guess I am starting the process early because I know what's coming.

I am excited to move, to start over, but I'm also a little anxious because I know that this move will be different from the past.

Hm.

well, today was pretty busy so far.

Haircut (took a while, but it's nice and sleek), late lunch with Josh (he didn't eat bc he already ate lunch I guess) that felt sorta odd...I didn't feel quite there...enough on mind lately amongst other things, then went to my gyno appointment.  Haha, a girl shadowed the gyno today. Fellow OSU student. haha. It was a crowded room, 4 people total. Hm...

Then went to the Library to pick up more movies for Luke.

Taking a break before I go to some Peruvian restaurant w Jaylene.

Nice day? I think so.

a lot to think about

It's been a pretty good day for the most part, Sunday, anyway.

Fell asleep at like 2-3am, woke up at 8am. Picked up Allie at like 10:30am, went to the outlet mall. Got a lot of good deals.  i bought 3 shirts for me and 1 shirt for Luke. We have almost matching yellow shirts! lol. Then we had Applebees. I was starting to get pretty worn out at this point and I'd just feel awkward. We had a good talk though and I am happy that she is very supportive/encouraging in general especially since I've been stressed/concerned for a while.  Maybe I just have too much time on my hands...right now, I am sure I do. My senior year? Apparently I slacked that year, or so I hear.  I don't totally know if I did. Maybe it just came off that way.  Impressions are different from reality.  People see what they're exposed to, people see what others want them to see...reality from a particular perspective.  There was certainly less pressure as far as schoolwork was concerned.  I definitely went out more but it was about time.  I came to the realization that life as I knew it was going to end very soon.  Many people...I wouldn't really see anymore...not often and maybe at all.  So much going on, so many changes about to happen. Thinking about it makes me anxious and I feel sort of helpless and a little lonely. But, whatever happens in life happens. I can't cling.

Made it back to Oxford in time for Josh and I to leave at a good time to go to Newport.  Had awesome Irish Pub Food. walked around a bit. Came back to Oxford in time to last minute-pick up Kait, drop off Josh, and pick up Allie for the movie -- The Other Guys.  It was alright. Not fab, but not bad at all.

Now I'm talking to Jennie, keepin her company for as long as I can as she's at the airport for a layover in Istanbul.

Sometimes I just feel so anxious and just don't know what to do with myself. I'm not sure how I like how the past couple years have been like.  I'm not nearly as emotionally consistent or that is how it comes off as.  I feel like there are a lot of things I have yet to deal with. I guess we'll see how the next couple of years go, how they turn out...Sometimes I just get overwhelmed thinking about too many things at once. Sometimes just listening to too many things stresses me out because I feel the need to be helpful/useful.  I'm not saying it's not satisfying to try to think of solutions, even if they are not used, just to have the "challenge" of doing something.

hard to breathe

I've been having trouble breathing right for about a week now. maybe I've been anxious long enough or something and my body and brain just can't deal with it. even if I'm not thinking about stressful things my chest feels like it's closed up, I can't breathe deeply, sometimes I end up unintentionally holding my breath, I yawn just to get more oxygen. I get lightheaded easy lately and it's so annoying. it's frustrating and makes me irritable and sometimes I have no idea why in stressed but the physical strain is tedious, consistent, and sometimes crying just relieves the pressure in my chest.

hope it goes away soon.

today was ok. stuck in cincy all afternoon n evening pretty bored but stranded. Saturday I'll be home like all day and night babysitting prolly. I just can't deal with much lately.

well at least I set up a gyno appt, and steph us prolly helping me move in n get settled in sept. it'll be lonely if she doesn't...

I just want to breathe or at least relax... or not feel faint. asap!

33 days

til I move.
The past few days have been interesting enough.  During the daytime it is good but at night it was a bit more of a struggle.

House sat for the Beherns in Eaton. Doggies were well behaved, weather was nice, visited Oxford a few times, doggies came on a car trip where Molly got car sick.  It's been a pretty good few days.  Made Moussaka which was delicious and lasted for days, cheesecake was yummy except I forgot to put in an egg so the texture was more like cold butter. Ha.

Saw the Preble County Fair, Kenwood mall, Union Terminal Museum for the omnimax "Legends of Flight", saw a cool Maserati and a Kasashi, the camry "raced"...

Time went by quickly.  Night time wasn't that fun because it was lonely in Eaton tho dogs helped, and I just had trouble sleeping.  Nightmares, too noisy outside, really warm upstairs, and the dogs making noises or barging into the room.

I am glad to be back in Oxford although there are downsides, the whole living at home thing. Got some stuff done today, set up renters insurance, direct deposit for financial aid/loans, chatted with roomie. There is a lot to do before then but I'm trying not to fret about it. No real reason to. It is still slowly setting in that I'm leaving.

Hopefully I go to bed early tonight. Biometrics test in the morning which means I'm waking up at 6:30am.

worn out

cleaning
laundry
walmart
cooking
cleaning
scrubbing
frustration
tennis fun
exercise
fumes
dizzy
sore
sore red thumb
stomach ache
pretty porsches
good food
friends

but I'd say the past few days have been satisfying and I feel useful but in exhausted and don't feel that good.

Mr. blue sky

cover by Lily Allen is so catchy and I think it'd do me good to listen to it more often-- so catchy and happy!

day: movies, magazine, family, chat with osu cph online, some school planning, yoga&pilates

good day

goal? more yoga&pilates, more walks, more reading, more sunshine ... a lot of time to myself has been good :)

Preoccupied

My mind's been rather preoccupied lately.  I didn't really think about anything today apart from school, apartment, some reading, and some playtime.  I think this is good because then I don't get moody but it also means it's hard for my brain to just switch to something else.  Not really a conversing type of day for my brain...more like productive.

Sprayed down the poison ivy I could see and the general vicinity in the backyard with RoundUp...hopefully it clears up and I can spray whatever is left and then mow the area down and just get that place back into order.

Rewrote my statement of intent for Epidemiology department, talked with the somebody from the college of public health on the phone, edited the statement, and then sent it in.  Worked on lists and organizing stuff with Angeline, read a lot of my library book, finished up apartment applications (the main part), got things organized and they are ready to be mailed!

I have so many lists! and I think we've pretty much figured out who's getting what and stuff...

Only thing is I move the day before the labor day fireworks at Newport which means I probably won't see the fireworks and will just be in Columbus for a few days because I don't know if it'd be worth the drive back and forth.  Although, it could be a little lonely at times in Columbus because I'm pretty sure Angeline is stayin with her fam in the hotel for a few days.  Unless I have company. We'll see.

meep.

As much as I want

I can be as smart and as happy as I want.

i do want more of both.

Especially now. I'm gonna need that for the next two years at least. Time to tackle an area I don't feel that great at but it's not something I feel like I can't figure out either. Biostats. soon enough...

I have plenty of time to play with numbers when I'm in Columbus...right?

Anyway, I had a lot of fun playing with legos today.  First my fam went to to do Errands. It was originally just gonna be Mom and me going to Jungle Jims but then Luke wanted to go out and do stuff.  That is a good thing, he needs to get out more.  Anyway, so then dad has to go.  we dropped them off at wal-mart and then the two of us went to Jungle Jims. Yummy sample foods. Bought awesome food. I am SO HAPPY the Mangos are GOOOD this time.

Talked with Josh some then he came to my house to play with Luke, hang, and then have dinner. It was fun. Luke shrieked a lot and was relatively well behaved. Legos, Missiles, and some outdoor fun as Josh successfully (after many attempts) got a rope over a particular branch to eventually make a swing. Working progress.

I have about a month or so left of summer. I am glad but I am excited to move to Columbus.

Dear John

Thoughts that came up as I read this book.  Some of it I feel like I forget and know that it's important in real life. They are such simple lessons but right now, they feel meaningful and it's nice to be reminded.

1)   When I feel like I'm struggling, everybody else around me is struggling and to them, their struggles feel just as hard and their struggles are valid too.
2)   Don't compare people.  Don't expect the current person is necessarily like the past.  You chose the current because you did NOT want the past.
3)   With love you put the other's happiness before yours.  Of course, this works better when this is mutual, lol.
4)   You never forget.  You may try to, but it's impossible.  You may think about it less with time.  It's hard not to fall back into the past and be nostalgic and try to stay connected especially during tough times.

Try Trust

Sometimes you just gotta try to trust.

Budget

Made a budget today.  Especially since the Quarry is so freakin' expensive I'm going to need to buckle down and budget like crazy.

Tuition: 11,310/year
Parking pass: 250/year
Books and Supplies: 1,600/year
Apartment (Rent, water, gas, electric, internet): 8,500/year
Food: 3,600/year
Gas/Fuel: 1,200/year or so
Other: 1200/year
TOTAL:$$$$27,660/year$$$$$
                   =2,305/month

So essentially for 9 months I will be around 24k. because school is only for 9 months my expenses are calculated differently.

Note to self: Ok, so lets say I just have tuition/books/supplies/parking paid right away (theoretically) at the beginning of the school year.  That is 13,160.  Ok so I have $10,872 of living and stuff during school (9months) so my budget of actual spending (including rent) is $$1,208/month.  (TRY TO KEEP IT UNDER THIS) That is a number I can keep in mind when I am actually looking at my bank account in terms of cost for living.

Other will probably be basic things like toiletetries, toilet paper, stuff that comes up...basic stuff.

This isn't including the cost of furnishing the apartment from the ground up either.  Who knows what else is going to come up. What if the car dies, what if my laptop breaks, what if I get really sick...I mean these are things I cannot anticipate.

I'm probably never eating out. Not going to spend money on stuff like concerts and stuff probably. I don't know how I can. I've already been spending too much lately, not very responsibly.  I can't continue as if I just have these "unlimited" resources.  I don't want to take out loans until I have to.  My parents are generous enough to fund up to a certain amount but that'd get me through maybe a year and half.  If my budget doesn't work or financial circumstances make it so my parents can no longer help, then more loans.  I want to avoid it as much as I can.  Signing up to live at such a place pretty much means I need to forgo the other stuff that I don't actually need.  I don't know if I should get a part time job.  If I do my weekends will probably be totally gone.  So much for seeing anybody or going home if that happens.  I don't want to take out loans just to live "comfortably" because I've been comfortable enough so far but I can't be spending money like this. Because I'm not going to expect anybody to help... I need to learn to just take care of myself because I need to learn and before long I won't have any help at all.  Trying to budget this out makes me feel a little bit better but it still is stressful.

Although the calculations cannot be totally accurate because there are expenses I may not have in the summer or expenses I may have more of. I just don't know.  Because my lease is a whole year I'm going to just live in Columbus for the summer and work full time (this is the plan).  Although I think I may have to do a practicum and/or study abroad for a short period of time to fulfill requirements for school.  I am hoping that working will make a significant difference and put off student loans and hopefully not use them at all.  I mean if I accumulated 1k a month I could literally just barely survive summer on my own financially. I don't know if I could even do That.

I'm also a little anxious about some of the courses I'm going to be taking once I switch departments because I know 3 of them are goin to be very challenging for me because I don't care much for numbers.  Although I would like to maybe have a small work study, I don't know if I could actually handle it.  As and Bs are crucial because you aren't really even ALLOWED to get a C, its a requirement of the program, or of any masters/doctorate program really from what I can tell. Knowing that just sorta stresses me out regardin courses I know I won't be that great at.

Lessons from the Bachelorette

I realize it probably really silly to be writing about a tv show but it's been suuuch an intense episode this week.

Frank had to go home because there were feelings he had not dealt with concerning an ex girlfriend.  In the back of his mind he would think about her and was always insecure about his relationship with the bachelorette whenever she was with other guys (Hey, it's part of the show).  Right before Tahiti he went to Chicago to confront his feelings to get "closure."  His ex girlfriend, in my opinion, comes off as a bitch.  I don't think she'll take him back, I just think she didn't want him with somebody else that was way cooler than her. But, whatever, Good thing Frank is gone.  What a jerk.  Does closure even exist? I don't know.  But if you have reservations it's probably NOT a good idea to hide them, very unfair to whoever you're with.  A lot to think about.

When you choose somebody it doesn't necessarily mean it's right because they have to choose you too.  It's a two way street in that way.  People come and go and we shouldn't think too much about the past because there is probably a reason they aren't in the present and won't be in the future.  I'd say that people break up for a reason.  Relationships, romantic or not, generally end for a reason. Life happens.

New home

Josh was a good sport and went to Columbus with me. he wasn't too happy about being sleepy and hungry or my driving but we made it to destination 1 at fox and hounds. got along with the girl but the apt was just tolerable I guess. anway didn't get it cus she decided to go a "different direction " which may mean she is keepin both rooms but the rent Is cheap enough that even I could... easy

then went to Easton Towne center which I love. josh sat a lot cus he was sleepy but lunch temporarily helped. then met prospect 2 but her expectation for rent was a little too low but she was really pretty nice.

new home in Columbus is definitely not cheap! but it's a lot for the money...gated, beautiful, huge, alll the amenities, a lake. Josh really liked it too. i think we both fell in love with the location and he was excited to see actual quarries at The Quarry where I plan on living once app and other paperwork is done like insurance and financial stuff is figured out. there aren't any real pix online of the inside of the apt but it is very beautiful, trust me. furnishings is also another thing to deal with. I did get the cutest measuring spoons from Anthropologie though!

I have been so stressed and the whole process has been a nightmare and overwhelming. i also need to figure out how to switch departments for school...I don't really know what I'm doing but it's not from lack of trying. I had facebook stalked, emailed, called a ton of people and places on top of meeting everybody and seeing everything. there is still a lot to do but here is a start.

I am thankful to have people supporting and encouraging me through this process and am glad Josh went today. it was a fun day and it is just very reassuring and helped limit stress!

to the future!

Link to the best website I could find to the Quarry that had pictures of the inside, it's not all exactly like this but it's a good idea of what there is there...It's gonna be expensive. sigh.

You win some and you lose some

So the book I've been reading appears to be helpful. I mean as I read it I feel like the words have potential to be useful and they point out a lot of things about myself very clearly. Growing up I did feel emotionally neglected and it's been instinctual to be on the defense and be resentful. It's like the more I try to control my circumstances or emotions the more out of control I end up being. I guess growing up I learned to just suffer in silence. I find it difficult to not be cautious, to not play it safe or to not want approval. It's difficult for me to just be aware of how I feel at the present. It is also difficult for me to not expect or anticipate a negative response. I don't mean to be negative which results in moping but it is hard to break a habit that has been a part of me all my life.

I am trying to learn to be responsible for how I feel and to not expect people to react a certain way and to just risk my feelings through expression. It'll take a while to learn how to appropriately express them without sounding defensive and I can't expect others to respond in a non defensive manner either because my communication is not to be determined by the response I receive. The point is to just share and to let go, and to not just suffer in silence and bottle it up because the resentment just spreads to other places and affects people I care about. I am not going to expect encouragement but I would greatly appreciate it. But, even if I end up being judged or negatively responded to, that is not something I can or should feel the need to control. Because these expectations lead into the present and just leads to pain. Even though in my head I tell myself, "Oh, I don't care how they respond" what I am actually feeling is "I doubt anything will come out of this" and I've already set myself up to be disappointed. It's hard to just let go and just really be open to the possibilities and results.

Need to work on this more. it doesn't really help that sometimes people point things out that I hadn't originally had a problem with and then it becomes one. I should just deal with it right away and not think so much about what things could be.... I can't say that when I try to communicate more I'm going to get positive responses, but at least I'll know I made some effort and hopefully learned something with each attempt...

you win some and you lose some.

Root for Reds

last night's reds game was the first for two Thai girls, one Chinese girl, and two Danish girls. I am glad it was such a good game and we managed to coordinate 11 people with seating! good food, good company, good game. it's random but MC Hammer was there too, didn't see him up close or anything but it was still neat.

Hopefully today is nice and chill, then I get to leave early morning to go to Columbus! I want a home!

Chinese upbringing

So I'm talking to Kait right now about various Asian cultures.  We began by talking about the Indian caste system and how strict it is but how it actually does work and now we're on to talking about the Chinese upbringing.

There are many pros and cons to it.  It is driven by hard work and aim towards economic/social success.

My parents are actually a lot milder on me than a lot of other Chinese families I know.  I don't know if it is because they are actually different or because of the circumstances of my upbringing (them being really busy).  They don't totally fit in with the other Chinese families around here, if anything they sometimes find it annoying with how nosy they can be.  But, the basic guidelines of upbringing are still present.

Parents invest everything they have in their children in order for them to be successful.  This is demonstrated through school, funding school, funding productive/useful extracurricular, music lessons to be cultured, and whatever else they can manage.  In turn the children need to work hard, be respectful, and responsible.  Filial responsibility is assumed and unconditional.  It is internalized and even if you want to get away from it and not do it it is too difficult because then it is followed by the consequences of guilt.  Guilt is a big thing.  Fear is also another I think.

Traditionally it doesn't take many mistakes to make great falls so mustering all efforts towards success and not making mistakes is crucial.  I am so glad I don't live in China because school sounds scary. But, you end up with the stereotypical nerdy, crazy hardworking people who are socially "awkward" from a western view.

Make a mistake, its not necessarily that the mistake itself is that big of a deal but to make sure you remember it and limit the possibility of making such a mistake guilt and fear is used (from what I can tell).  Bad daughter, don't use brain so it's useless, unappreciative, selfish, wasteful, etc.  The reflection is blown out of perspective but once it blows over it is normal again.  You forget about it for a while until something else happens.  It is just a cycle.  I understand what the point of it is but it is not very fun.

I am very thankful my parents aren't nearly as strict and crazy.  They don't compare me to other people's kids much, they dont' freak out if I get a B and they were at least ok with the two Cs...they don't make me do nearly as much as the other kids and I've never been physically disciplined.  In the past they at least talked to me more and explained stuff more, and we did have more serious conversations, not so much now with Luke because everybody is just on edge, tired, and just snaps but I am hoping in a few years things will ease up and it'll just be easier to communicate in general because that is a major flaw I have that I am aware of.

I suck at communicating about feelings.  That was never emphasized growing up.  One goal, one line to it, don't step off the path.  It would just be a distraction.  I am more aware of it as time goes by and it drives me crazy trying to figure it out and then I always feel guilty.  I am tired of going through life feeling guilty so much.  I probably don't need to feel nearly as bad as I do and as often but living here I know there are adjustments in my life I need to make because circumstances require it.  I don't live in China, or anywhere in Asia.  I don't even have that many Asians around me.  Just as immigrants here need to learn English because that's the world here.  You take what you can and learn to better fit in and to be more successful, not just economically, but socially.  We are social beings and need to function as such.

I am trying to work on this because it is important to me and I am looking forward to positive results.  I know it will only make me happier and that's also another good goal to have.

I really appreciate my parents and my upbringing as it has instilled a sense of responsibility, work ethic, drive, and attachment to my family.  We just have more to work on but I'm pretty hopeful about that too. I love them dearly and I know they mean the best for me, I just have to remain calm and to not over react so much...and to not bottle my feelings up so much because that isn't healthy.

I mean the closer I am to somebody the harder it is for me to share because it sorta feels like there is more at stake. I am used to small mistakes with big consequences.  Its more risk but I know without risk there is no payoff.  Its just a lot to process.  It's a control thing.  Not sharing is like struggling to control the circumstances because I always want to know where I am going, what I'm doing, what is going on, etc.  I am very particular about details...sorta drives me crazy sometimes but I mean with school stuff -- it works.  It's hard to just let go but sometimes you do it because you have to and hopefully with more practice it because more natural.

Hopefully the books I downloaded on my ipod help.  I mean, it can't be any worse than where I am now at least lol.

travel and decisions

gahhh so much driving, all over Columbus and I am so tired. loved hangin w Jennie and Stephanie though! explored n shopped. I am so overwhelmed though. I don't know if I will really have a roommate n don't know where I will be living but need to know sooooon.... gahhh aaaahhh maybe when I'm less tired I'll give full update of my adventures

July

It hasn't been July for very long.  It's been a good day. Spent the first half apartment hunting, talking to people, figuring stuff out, called Colin who talked forever explaining stuff.  He's been very useful and resourceful through this process and it's good to know somebody who knows what they're talking about.

Went laser tagging for Fei's dad's birthday with her family and their friends + Lauren M. which was a ton of fun.  I totallllly dominated :), was first by a decent amt first round, and second the second round.  We beat the other teamm by a long shot the first round and barely lost the second round.  Good time. I wandered around the whole course by myself most of the time, I found it was mroe successful tonight that way and I targeted their red base at the end of each round which helped.  It was fun.  Amy was freakin out on the way back thinkign Fei was driving too fast and fei was freaking out on the way there about how she had to lead the trip and didn't like the gps or know where she was going...oh it was amusing trip in general.

Afterwards Fei, Lauren and I went to bdubs to see Ali and Ian before she moves away.  Man, he knows more Disney than I do, esp. Pixar and can quote like everything.  Likes toy story 3 probably more than me and made fun of me for not crying during that movie as if I dont have feelings like every other girl did.  It was funny. I did think some parts were emotional but nto quite enough to cry for...oh well.  I also think I'm more aware of the regions of Cbus than Ian cus I was explaining where stuff was and the housing situations, I'm glad I stared at so many maps lol.

Hm...Yeah, morning I get to go to PA. Goody.  If I wasn't I'd probably go to Cosci with fei's family cus they're doing that this weekend, jealous! I've never been but I suppose once I move to cbus I can go as much as I want!!! win.

I am mostly happy I did so well at laser tag, it is fun, it made me feel accomplished today ha ha ha, as silly as that sounds.  Competitive enough? for today, sure. I'm sad summer is so close to being over (it seems that way) but I am pretty excited to move to cbus. Whatever happens happens I guess.

funny

funny how one never gets the whole story

hmmm

Erie , pennsylvania for the weekend... this could be fun? or just annoying.

this summer is too busy considering I barely work... pretty much right after I get back from Erie I get to drive to cbus again to look at apts n meet future roomie... then right after I get home is feis 21st birthday... then I'm sure something will come up again.

work Here n there...

already made 2 trips to cbus... hopefully this is the last one to determine where I live ... then I can start preparing lists n shopping...

Eclipse

it has been a better day. I eventually was able to eat more and feel less woozy lol. chilled at feis... mostly laid down while twilight was in background. then went home to get my laptop to lend Josh for a few days because his laptop charger died and he has online physics homework. sigh haha. I was useful there until midnight showing of eclipse ! by then I was feelin more lively... ing the crowd... anyway good movie.

so much for gettin much sleep. eye appt in morning! good thing my iPod touch has Internet and stuff...

eh maybe I'm too modern...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Beware of Icecream.

After work I went uptown to meet up with Josh and he got us icecream.  I got this peach shortcake icecream thing.  Well, the guy didn't know what one was (it was on this picture advertised there) and it tasted alright although the peaches tasted sorta fake to me (it's from a can, didn't expect much) but it tasted good otherwise.  The rest of the night was good.

Woke up this morning at 8am and felt awful, I felt chills, dizzy and had to go to the bathroom a few times. I got food poisoning?  I haven't eaten since last night (icecream) and its now 1pm. I had dinner before work but it was leftovers from lunch that had been in the fridge so it should've been fine and I've never had a problem with food at home ever and I don't even know the last time i got food poisoning to begin with.  I doubt it's the pretzels at work too.  So closest thing I can think of is the canned peaches?

I mean today is not going to deter me from UDF.

New

New fall schedule.  This way my classes are closer together and I'm not stranded on campus for nearly as long!

PUBHBIO 701 - TuTh 8:30AM - 10:18AM 
PUBHEPI 710 - MoWe 10:30AM - 12:18PM 
PUBHHBP 720 - MoWe 1:30PM - 3:18PM
PUBHHBP 820 - TuTh 1:30PM - 3:18PM

I also have a prospective roomie and we have been exchanging e-mails.  We'll see how all this goes because really? having a roomie would be a lot less expensive.

First attempt for new home

Was unsuccessful but quite an experience anyway.

Drove to Columbus and I found it to be a really nice drive :).  Got there at around 12:30pm, called the guy to see his apartment.  Eh, it's close to campus and all, and it's clean enough...but didn't like it.  Then dad and I walked to South Gateway to get lunch...then wandered around by foot, looked at buildings where I'll have class, medical center, etc.  Then we wanted to get back...and wandered around lost on the bad parts...but we then found that it was an easy walking distance from where that apartment was and I wasn't too pleased with that even if the apartment is in a tolerable location.  Drove around to see the other apartments on the outside cus people either don't answer my phone calls/e-mails or are out of town.  Eh, the two were not great, one was promising but the traffic was horrendous.  CARS EVERYWHERE. On roads that have two lanes (one going each direction)...it would be a normal-minimal width...BUT, with cars parked on both sides THE WHOLE WAY. I don't know how I went through, everytime I saw a car we'd have to coordinate how to pass.

Then there's the people who like to cut me off.

Then there's the mass amounts of hippy pedestrians with flowers in their hair and bathing suits that block the intersection....

I later find out that it's comfest.

Explains a lot.

Found a lot of new apartments to look at, large complexes, pricier, and a commute. but safer. def safer.

Apartments that are "sketch" in Oxford are normal anywhere near OSU Campus as far as I can tell. ugh. Maybe I'm sheltered, or maybe I just like peace.

What next? we'll see.

totoro

my brother is so cute. this was from watching bolt with me yesterday :)

Luke with Totoro



hm I should probably get up soon to shower n get ready to go to Columbus to see apts! hopefully it us successful but if not we can at least explore the vicinity!

Looking forward to a step towards Independence

I am looking forward to living by myself right now.  Maybe when it comes I'll get lonely but I plan on keeping myself preoccupied.  Class usually results in a lot of homework, and because there isn't going to be dining halls every day I will have to cook which will take up time, and then cleaning because I don't like seeing dirty dishes, or dirty things in general.  And I do like being a vegetable on occasion and watching hulu or a movie.  I think time will go by quick enough and I hope to not be that lonely.  I don't think it'll be bad making friends and I will have weekends to hopefully have fun!

Living by myself has a lot of perks:
1) not having to deal with crying little boy a lot...and the screaming...like right now...
2) not being with my parents and all the annoying things that come with that
3) my own space
4) organized space because I don't bother unpacking much right now
5) new bed!
6) quiet
7) hopefully less stressed out because I'll finally have more time to myself to think and not be overwhelmed when things come up
8) dance around and not be bothered with anybody thinking I'm weird
9) experiment and not end up being embarrassed if it is a total fail
10) I might as well have a 10th...um...just something new in general!

But I have to make sure I am as prepared as I can be.  I am trying to learn how to save money.  I am making lists of things I will need to get, things I will need to do, things I should learn how to do, and things I want to do.  I have to be prepared and motivate myself to go out there, meet people, work hard, and keep my head screwed on right and not to get too overwhelmed and just take it a little at a time as it comes.  I'm not a real grown up yet but I am working to be one! I am hopeful.

I'd be into the World Cup too...

If I got paid and got a bunch of stuff and got free housing for a month! Although it would help if I knew more about soccer and the world cup to begin with.  I like watching it and all but I never played on a team or anything and don't follow much soccer.  This is still pretty funny and cool though.  Jealous of this Aussie!

http://g.sports.yahoo.com/soccer/world-cup/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Australian-man-living-inside-giant-Jabulani-ball?urn=sow,251020

End of Ponds

Arrived to work at around 7:40am, headed out to the ERC by 8am. It was hot. It was sunny. It was humid. The black tarp of the ponds were Hot. I thought I was going to fall to the bottom a few times because it's pretty steep and you're standing on the sides.  If the places you step your feet on aren't spotless from the pressure washer...you slip real quick.  That pressure washer is a lot stronger than I remember...I thought it was going to knock me down. haha. That, and tools and I don't get along when it deals with gross, disgusting, dead-fish, and algae ridden crap...I was at first given a dull, rusty knife and told to cut twist ties and stuff...good thing after a couple tries I remembered Mia had a swiss army knife...even then, the hot sun made me feel a little dizzy when surrounded by just black tarp...and the smell? awful.  Probably comparable to a sewer. I never want to do that again...and by the looks of it, I don't have to ever do it again! yay...either I'm a whimp or the ponds are evil because it kicked my butt today.  I am so tired and sore.

Went to the contacts fitting apt today, I think I'm going to like these new contacts (trial currently) but I still have a few old ones left that'd last a while...what to do with them? I guess I'll figure it out.

i'm sore.

Soleil 100 Days

Soleil 100 Days: "There are thousands of fun, sharable prizes in the BIC® Soleil® 100 Days of Sunshine promotion. Join now! www.FeelTheSoleil.com"

Yeah, I'm mostly trying to win that car :P

Hobbies

Josh has reminded me that I have no current hobbies. I used to have a lot of hobbies but they're not useful/practical...I can make things...and then do what with them? I would never wear a scarf or hat I make...they go to my stuffed animals. I don't feel like making stuffed animals, jewelry, etc.  I am too picky.  So, I've come up with some...seeing as apparently volunteering is NOT a hobby?

Jogging/Yoga
Painting
Photography/Wall Art
Scrapbooking
Projects w Luke! I'm thinking finger painting stuff to put up, crafts, colored bubble art, etc.

Working on more.  Starting in August I will be unemployed. And half unemployed before that.

I still need to get my butt moving in finding a place to live in Columbus and figuring out the financial situation.  The school is slow at getting back to me. AH!

Budget

I really need to learn how to handle money better, how to make money better, and all sorts of other things.  I need to learn how to be a grown up.

how much more

can i take this?

Happy 10th Birthday to Amy!

Woke up, went to work, then went uptown.  Bought a card and a gift for Amy's birthday and had lunch with Josh at Phan Shin.  The food's OK. I wasn't super hungry though. Beautiful day.  Then wandered for a little bit before Fei, Amy, and Amy's friend showed up so we could watch Toy Story 3.  we LOVED the movie.  The 3 of them cried.  Understandable, it was a very meaningful movie. I am glad it got like a 100% on rottentomatoes! totally worth it. It made me happy.  Then we just hung out at Fei's, played games, ate dinner, random people came over, had cake, then I came home.

I am slowly teaching Luke math.  I realize it is really early but he wanted money so I told him if he cleaned the room and put his toys away (he dumped them EVERYWHERE) he'd get 5 monies (aka 5 pennies).  Before long he'll be upgraded to bigger coins and learn to trade coins (value of diff coins).  We played heads/tails for a while, counted coins, sort of added/subtracted.  He had a ball, it was so funny.  My brother is so cute and he's getting so grown up! Maybe if I get the chance I'm going to buy more storage containers (smaller) and teach him how to organize and buy more big legos and stuff.  He seems to be mature enough to build projects properly now which I am thrilled about.  Hopefully it'll be a lot easier to play! cars, legos, oh joy.  At least the kids at the park like to play with him (maybe more for the like kazillion hotwheel cars he brings...).  But hey, he's learning and he's growing up.

Ah, Amy's growing up.  She is sweet. watching her grow up has been great even if she can has an attitude sometimes but she's a simple enough girl.  She doesn't just wantwantwant.  She didn't really want gifts and a party but she was super polite and showed that she really appreciate gifts and the time we spent with her.

It's been a good day.  I am tired but I am hoping I get a lot done tomorrow.  Mom is gonna do errands so I'm gonna be home w/ Luke.  Should be amusing. I need to clean so badly. so badly.